#pixiedunhoff

DRACO MALFOY IS A FILTHY SLAG BOTTOM! by pixiedunhoff (Rated E, 6,996 words)

See the title. Harry has a bewildered and stupidhorny breakdown over it.

anyways here's the snippet:

"It's as if you're Confunded!" At this, Hermione makes a thoughtful expression and casts a few muttered spells. The results of the magic seem to deflate her further. "Nothing," she whispers. "You actually are really into this."

"It's really weird," Harry admits. "But I am into this."

Ron has seemed guarded and uncertain so far, but he is rallying and relaxing with Harry's demonstrated peace with the situation. Hermione, on the other hand, is the one that is more ceaselessly and vocally disapproving.

"Malfoy!" Hermione says again. "Draco MALFOY!"

"Yup." Harry smacks his lips with the final letter. "My baby mama."

Ron expels some shocked snickering, which Harry appreciates. He was sort of trying to be funny, even if it's all now unbelievably true.

and here's the link to the post if it helps

https://x.com/dahliapottah/status/1892544247422677491?t=uUsogApQ-NtrgfHLPP0VkA&s=19

thank u sm i feel like this is such a stupid request feel free to ignore

We believe you are looking for Made for Duty by pixiedunhoff (11k, E)

Hai thar!

5:What I want to be when I’m older:Most likely a zoologist; particularly primatology.(Although I'm really interested in theoretical physics lately...)

7:What I did yesterday:Overdosed on tea to attempt to remain awake on a Monday, wrote down some character/setting ideas for my AU fanfic, and SLAVED over my literary analysis essay.  (Then I headdesked.)

I want to be your friend

Okay. Let's.

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

Open, too lazy to close them.

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?

OMFG PAT JUST PLAYED AN AUDIO-BOOK WHEREIN NIC CAGE HAS THIS EXACT SAME DILEMA. Uh I'd say a bear, cause I watched plenty of nature shows as a kid so I have some idea what to do. Also that's what Nic Cage does and I follow his sultry lead.

10: What is your biggest pet peeve?

Oh dear. This is going to be incredibly emotional and single-minded. But I'll do my best.

Favorite character: At first I would say Erik, just because he deserves all the cuddles, but after getting deeper into the fandom I believe Charles is really the most intriguing. I wrote a play partly based on their characters, and one of my teachers pointed out how pseudo-Erik is very much about "keep out of my head, I won't tell you anything," and yet he is pretty much an open book. At the same time, all we know about Charles is that he grew up rich and somehow became this incredibly forgiving man, even after seeing the horrors of humanity day by day. It's intriguing.

Least Favorite character: It feels stereotypical to say Shaw, but at the same time, besides being the villain, he's really the person we understand the least - we're supposed to assume that he's a psychopath, thus he wants to destroy everything. Plus I felt Bacon was terribly cast. So I wish we'd gotten more of a back story, because of all the layers that would add to Erik's own suffering (on that note... what did Charles see in SHAW'S mind, right before he died? Did he understand anything more about Erik? Hmm.)

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): CHARLES/ERIK FOREVER AND EVER. Besides that... Raven/Azazel, Alex/Darwin. I can't really think of any other romantic relationships... I understand Hank/Alex, but I read one post-transformation fic and lrhlwrtwrt. I love Erik/kids bonding time, though - that's always my favorite. He's a good daddy :)

Character I find most attractive: Hurrdurr Erik

Character I would marry: Charles (/James rghjrg)

Character I would be best friends with: I love Moira. I don't know why. Maybe it's my girlcrush on Rose Byrne, or the way she was the level-headed center of all this craziness.

a random thought: The most painful thing about Erik and Charles's love is how the exact reasons why they are perfect for each other are the same forces that mean they can never be together.

An unpopular opinion: I feel like my opinions are fairly even with the rest of tumblr's. The thing I'm adamant on that not everyone is, is Charles and Erik's respective sexualities - I full-heartedly believe that Charles is a severely suppressed homosexual who overcompensates by flirting egregiously and terribly with women (I made a post about this when the deleted scenes came out), while Erik has never really seen a need to worry about it - a release is a release, and he can kill his way out of any untoward encounters. He is very open within himself about who he is - in this respect at least.

my canon OTP: Charles and Erik. It is canon. Your argument is invalid.

Non-canon OTP: Does Alex/Darwin count? Idk. Im blinded by Charles and Erik's divine light.

most badass character: Durrr Erik again

pairing I am not a fan of: Raven/Charles or Erik in a non-platonic way. I read one fic where post-divorce Erik sleeps with Raven in Charles's form and it was so painful I never went back. Idk, I feel her "seduction" was more her responding to the first man who seems to understand and support her.

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): All of the women except for Raven, I reckon (and even then, that might just be Jennifer Lawrence's acting skills). I feel like on the whole the movie was saved by the acting - James and Michael are world-class actors, and Jennifer soon will be, and characters like the rest of the kids weren't given much emotional weight anyway. But the egregiously bad actors, like Zoe Kravitz and January Jones (in this role at least), showed the flaws in the writing. Plus the awful treatment of minorities in a film ABOUT the dangers of prejudice.

favourite friendship: Charles and Erik. If not that, Raven and Erik.