So watching the SPN pilot for the 20th anniversary and I am literally crying because I forgot they played highway to hell by AC/DC. In the freaking pilot!!! As they're on their way back to Stanford back to Jess. They are on the highway to Sam's hell. The loss of the second most important person in his life. And don't forget about the fact that the pilot is what gets the ball rolling for Dean going to literal hell. So....yeah. I see you Kripke and you're making me cry.

oh dean absolutely dooms sam when he says “i’ll take you home” (meaning back to stanford/jessica) at the end of the pilot. by naming it home he instantly makes it place sam can never return to. jessica’s fate isn’t sealed until that moment i think. it’s the utterance of home...it’s dean acknowledging that sam now has another home, makes it so jessica must burn. because you can never, ever go back home. and well....i’m also thinking about how dean dooms himself years later when he gets cas back and he welcomes him into his arms and calls themselves home. he should’ve known then, he’d only end up losing cas again sooner or later. home is a place and home is a person and home is something you can never keep, is the ongoing lesson and tragedy of their lives. 

Dean doesn't say "I miss you" and "I don't want to lose you again" but says "I don't want to (do this alone even if I have to)" and "we made a hell of a team back there".

so in the “im 26 dude” scene, dean tells sam he was working his own case in new orleans which is why he was not with john when he disappeared. laying down the alibi nice ok. so here’s the thing, stanford era dean at some point broke off from john. say he does have a lead on a case in new orleans, y’know always establish a lie on some truth. say he decides to drive through kansas for the first time in 22 years. say he drives through lawrence, visits the old house, starts poking around for himself. say he discovers john’s wanted by the fbi. say he discovers a whole lot of evidence that points to john killing mary and covering it up in a house fire. say dean realizes john’s been lying to them their whole lives. say dean finally kills the thing that killed mary. and then, he goes to stanford to pick up sam because, well, dad hasn’t been home for a few days...