#pife

POLAYMORY ISN’T FOR EVERYONE

Hello beautiful people. I am once again going to be talking about the books in my shop, so if you are not up for a bit of self-promotion (or a trip down memory lane if you used to read this comic) then feel free to skip this post. 

I wrote this graphic novel about the most significant relationship I had had before I met my wife. I had been broken up with this person for years, I had moved on, surely, and yet.... I still wasn’t over it. Still regularly crying into my new girlfriend’s arms about how I’d been hurt. I figured: art therapy has worked pretty well for me in the past. Maybe the best way to process this grief, to get it out of my system, was to write comics about it. 

This comic is about polyamory, but two things it is not: 1. An instructional on how to be in a poly relationship. We had absolutely NO IDEA what we were doing, had only the vaguest understanding of what it meant to be poly, and we made A LOT of mistakes. Please don’t use us as an example, because it’s not a good one. 2. A judgement on polyamorous relationships. Even though my experiences weren’t great, and I’ve since figured out that I’m pretty happy being monogamous, I know that there are plenty of happy and healthy poly relationships out there. When conducted with trust, respect, open communication and EVERYONE ON BOARD, poly relationships can be beautiful, loving and long-lasting. I hold absolutely no negative judgement of my poly friends and family. 

This person was really important to me. If you read my previous comic, I Do Not Have An Eating Disorder, you will remember her as the person who quite literally saved my life - she got me into recovery, and built up in me the foundations of self esteem (something I had severely lacked when we met). For a long time, she was my everything. But people are complex, and despite what the Beatles might have said, sometimes you need more than love. You need to know that you both want the same things out of a life together. 

Honestly I think this is mostly useful as a cautionary tale, or, if you are like me, a bit of light entertainment where you can enjoy watching people make terrible, terrible decisions knowing that you would never do that. 

You can buy it digitally here

And in physical form here

There are a bunch of other books there too, which I will be talking about in the coming weeks. My apologies in advance for anyone outside of Australia who orders things - postage is not cheap! I try my best to keep the prices on my books low to counteract this. 

If you enjoyed reading along with this comic back when I was posting it weekly on Tumblr, hopefully you can now enjoy reading the whole thing. 

All my love, 

some women

the way they weave their actions, the way they weave their thoughts,

any attempt to understand and study them may drive most closer to insanity, confusion and defeat than truth

but insanity doesn't tingle their minds

the ones that get forgotten between those who defeated the great mountains and slayed armies without swords

who are they ?

where does their greatness lie ?

in the seeds they planted,

in the smiles they spread,

which great mountains crushed them, beneath which they grew taller

these thoughts tingle my mind at some nights.

where does their madness lie?

POLYAMORY ISN’T FOR EVERYONE - Page 115

Look, I condensed the whole thing down to this central disagreement, but it was about a whole lot more than that. We had been together for almost 4 years, and had had a lot of disagreements during that time, but we never really fought. I guess this was the time when it all had to come out. 

This page brought to you by my generous Patrons!

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POLYAMORY ISN’T FOR EVERYONE - page 108

Uuuuuuurrrggghhh... the DRAMA of it all. I was just like... really? You’re by my side all night but the SECOND I leave the room you’re in Bridgette’s arms having the time of your life? It just made me feel like I was in the way, holding her back from the person she really wanted to be with. I’m sure poly isn’t supposed to feel this way. And I’m pretty sure there I had a right to feel weird when this all happened after she promised it was over with Bridgette. Anyway. This made me feel pretty weird and insecure. Maybe I’m just dramatic about these things, but when I came back to this scene, my heart fell into my stomach. 

Sorry this is a little later than usual. I still don’t have internet up and running at the new house, so I’ve had to do all my posting during business trips when I’ve had access. Hopefully things will be back to normal by next week. Thank you everyone for your patience. 

This page brought to you by my generous Patrons!

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POLYAMORY ISN’T FOR EVERYONE - Page 103

It’s really important to me that I show this side of it all - that even though there was a lot of problematic behaviour which left me feeling hurt, I was still receiving messages of love. She still paid attention to me when she was home. She still talked sweetly to me often. I thought she was indicating that she wanted to continue to build a life with me. I really thought there was something pure and beautiful that we could salvage from all this. Even though every betrayal tore me down, every time she said ‘I love you’, it gave me hope - hope that things wouldn’t always be this way, that maybe this was just the hard times we had to get through as a couple before the comfort of domestic bliss would arrive. I guess we were both thinking very differently about our future. 

This page brought to you by my generous Patrons!

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