#phv

And the way he accepted her bedrock and moved on with it… like sorry if I’m being Girl Who Is Mentally Ill to this… but it’s kinda giving mental illness. She’s building with bedrock, permanent, unignorable, there to stay, and it doesnt make jj quit. He just literally incorpates it into his life— HE LITERALLY BUILDS HIS LIFE AROUND HER. He makes his house bigger FOR HER, to keep HER ADDITIONS, her godly and unplayerlike, inhuman, additions. He accepts and allows her and literally shows off the work. The bedrock is a very beautiful part of jj’s builds.

Like at first she covers his house and it’s hard to accommodate but he does. And then they start building more together. Bedrock and oak dont look the best, but polished deepslate is nice. He extends the olive branch, makes the conversation board. And again, she grows it. SHE is consistently the one adding bedrock and growing the board, making a conversation he is FORCED INTO– and then he says “then ban me.” And ends the board with polished deepslate(reaching out a hand, letting her know she's still a player even if she has more power[aka saying she’s still a person even tho mentally ill]). And she doesn’t ban him. I bet she doesn’t think about it seriously for more than a few minutes. She just takes the olive branch, and grows it. (Turns peaceful mode off)

It’s still a struggle though, don’t think she’s gonna make this easy! Healing isnt linear and withers and wardens definitely don’t help her. Even b4 all of that, she blew up the nether to bits! She almost felt bad about it too. This is her world- she didnt mean to do all of this. But then again, the fun of minecraft is to MINE and that she did. With an emptyspace gun. And then, even with that, he continued. That was a violent outburst, and he was probably greatful that she cleared all the terrain to get him to that nether fortress. How kind of her (again, working with her differences, her godliness and neurodivergence. Tho this one was harder, he still worked with it). The withers and wardens are her strongest 

He never gets mad at her differences, her godliness her neurodivergence[would yall believe me if i said i argued in an english class that God from Genesis the bible is neurodivergent], he never gets upset. He works WITH IT. Not even just around it- she says “yeah im gonna place bedrock all over ill only remove it if u answer me” and he says “keep it, i like it” and incorporates it in a beautiful walkway. She didnt mean for that to happen. She adds bedrock to the conversation wall and he adds deepslate. She builds with him and eventually picks up what to do (aka how to behave kindly in a social situation. Am i projecting too much yet), she uses world edit and he doesnt, and so then she stops flying, copies the way he places rows of blocks. She copies his spires and they’re ON THE SAME LEVEL (Thank you @/semifontos for helping me clock that) 

Beautiful. The meet up and her suspecting a trap.. i bet he knew too. I bet he knew or at least suspected she was using spectator and could see his tunnels and maybe he thought that she once she logged on after he finished the track, she’d see it immediately. But she didn’t, bc she wanted to play pretend with him, go along. She wanted to be human, be regular. She wanted–

LORD her pale oak vs his oak and her bedrock vs his leaves and then their shared deepslate… GODDD AND and the way she was in creative the whole time, a protective layer (when she hit him and he couldnt hit her back god just say you like to play with your food planet) against him, against a hacker, against vulnerability and humanity. He just wanted to build, wanted to show her how to be human/how to make friends and she let him. Shes weird and in creative (aka neurodivergent) but he ACCEPTS IT and incorporates it into his LIFE IM GONNA BE SICK AND. Dude. The only time she went into survival was to play along, to play pretend. 

She’s an actual alien to being in survival. As in, she is a god viewing humanity and she is neurodivergent viewing society. The thing that REALLY got me was when they built together and he cut down a tree and she just broke it. It’s like when in nonhuman stories, the nonhuman tries to do something human, like a god trying pain, or an alien trying out food. She broke wood and he didnt say a word. Afaict, she never gave him blocks. She just copied what he did. Like when building that bridge thingie she copied what he did and middle-clicked a deepslate slab. She copied him, learned how to speak his language. He let her help, and they made something beautiful, something with part of each of them. Something beautiful.

GOD The way everything in that world was half oak half bedrock had me choking. The conversation wall with it’s diff levels and diff colors reminded me of 17776 the story abt football and the far future. So beautiful. 

And them meeting up and her suspecting a trap and figuring out how to prepare for it, the way she pushed her divinity (changed the max radius of a brush, made unique potions and figured out enchants) and he stayed human… the way she didn’t need the potion or the armor in the end… she was human at the end. She went into survival. She learned how to be nice and i’m not saying that she was shoved into societal norms, I’m saying she didn’t know how to make friends and now she does. In the metaphor. She went into survival, became human, tried to make a friend, and she thought it would hurt, she pushed herself to make resitance 100 potions and put up a bunch of walls– in the end, she was fine. It was scary, but the harm didn’t even touch her. She made a friend (autism aside my girl can COOK /ref).

And the ending. Goddd the ending. It’s growing up and growing apart, for the player lens. It’s dying, for the godhood lens. And it’s not making it in the neurodivergence lens. Either way, no matter what lens, jj is gone. Maybe he just left, got bored. Maybe his parents kicked him off mc, maybe he had to sell his laptop, maybe he killed himself, maybe he died of a disease. He’s gone. Jj, the player, the human, the friend, is gone. Left, one way or another. And he spent his month getting her ready. 

Planetlord has to say goodbye to someone she never really knew. How is grief measured? Should she see an item in a store and be reminded of him? See a color and think “oh that was jj’s favorite”? Well, she doesn’t know his favorite color, and she never called him jj. All she has is oak wood and signs and leaves and– deepslate. She doesn’t know him and, tragically, she’s never gonna. She barely even got the chance. And it shouldn’t hurt that he’s gone, because she literally doesn’t even know his favorite color. She barely even spent time with him. Planet is mourning someone she doesn’t know. She’s mourning being able to look forward to whatever shenanigans he did this morning.