#phq-9

9 Questions You Must Answer To Know if You Have Depression

It is very easy for us to forget depression as one of the major illnesses that burdens humanity. This is because we are easily carried away by most infectious diseases which kill more acutely.

But here is an illness which crawls up stealthily into the minds of people and eats them up slowly before they could even be aware of it.

It should be a norm that a routine survey be carried out…

9 Questions You Must Answer To Know if You Have Depression

It is very easy for us to forget depression as one of the major illnesses that burdens humanity. This is because we are easily carried away by most infectious diseases which kill more acutely.

But here is an illness which crawls up stealthily into the minds of people and eats them up slowly before they could even be aware of it.

It should be a norm that a routine survey be carried out…

PHQ-9: 20

I went to my PC today and finally opened up about my anxiety and depression. It was very difficult and I tried not to cry but I definitely broke out in a cold sweat and bit my cheek raw from trying not to backtrack.

I’ll be going to see her Friday for a check on my PPD test and she’ll give me a list of therapists she recommends, but for now she started me on an SSRI - Lexapro. It took me practically the rest of the day to convince myself I do possibly need this med. Regardless of my PHQ-9 score (a 20 three nights ago) my head keeps telling me that I’m not that bad, that I don’t need this med, I don’t need to change what has become a facet of myself I recognize and accept.

I miss treatment in this really weird way. The hospital was so safe. One time I was in the basement of the hospital in depression group. And it was this SUPER weird deja vu. I remember the dream where I was in the basement and we were sitting in a circle talking and the therapist was talking to this crying girl and saying “no bricks are falling on you” like she always does. I remember when I had the dream I thought it was a really weird thing that would probably never happen in life. But then, there I was in the basement of the hospital watching this girl cry. Anyways. That therapist always talked about how we perceived the hospital to be safe but it was safe only because we like believed it was. It was weird, It made me doubt my own reality. 

If you’ve never been to the hospital you will never get it. Who misses a hospital? but this is different. Its not really a HOSPITAL. for like real people. It’s like a lot of rooms with chairs in a circle and white board and then there’s also a big cafeteria and 2 waiting room area things. Honestly that description doesn’t do it justice but i’m just trying to explain to you that it’s a normal place and not like a medical hospital thing. Who is you? Does anyone read this thing?

Another thing i’ve been thinking about in relation to the hospital is how i want to be a social worker now and a lot of their interns were doing the same thing and if i went to UIC for grad school maybe I could do my field work there but would they take a former patient? That’s what I think about.

It’s also weird how we like meet the staff and in the ethical world a person would never be FB friends with an intern that treated them at the hospital. Not that that happened in my life. But you really do become friends with them. And they’re not really that much older than me, you know? So sometimes I wish it was ok to be FB friends with them. I really wish I could look them up because I want to know what they went on and do in life.

In other news they keep making me take this test (i make myself take it but they made me back in the day) it’s called the EDE-Q and the only things I can learn about it from google is a TON of academic studies about it and I just want to know what my numbers mean about me. I guess I want to know 1) am I sick 2) how sick am I? that why i like taking quizzes. I also learned that stupid questionaries are used in all the mental health places and there is always the disclaimer like this isn’t a diagnosis but I think it is. my FAV quizzes are : PHQ-9, GAD-7, and The Goldberg Depression test. I can’t find a good quantifiable one for eating disorders. It’s not legit unless i get numbers and it asks the questions they always ask, and it gives me a scoring key thing.