#philosophyofpower

14.03.2020

It has been so long since I wrote here... but I believe it's time to come back. First I must say I got what I wanted. And I got it almost perfectly. I won the first place. I made four exams to get in into my PhD program and my grades were 90, 98, 100 and 95. It was nice, very nice but also completely unexpected because (it pains me a little bit to say that) I have almost zero confidence in my own work. So I'm really glad the way things turned out to be. It helped me to improved my confidence. It helped me to get rid of this impostor syndrome which has been my companion for a very long time.

After the results I took a long turn vacation (almost three months) and now I'm back at a study routine. No surprises there: this week was very hard. After such a long break I'm really struggling to focus. Sometimes it seems I lost my discipline for good. In fact I got so desperate this week I almost cried and that is to say something because crying isn't something easy for me. I haven't felt this lost in quite some time. So today I woke up very late as it has been (I must say that my inability to woke up early its bugging me to my core) but determined to do something. I went to gym after almost one hour of procrastination and when I got there I started to make excuses to leave as soon as possible. Then I realized that what I need right now is a change of attitude. Since I'm unable to motivate myself I'll have to rely on discipline alone. Since I don't have any inspiration at the moment I'll have to deal solely with transpiration. That's that. And, for the first time in weeks I worked hard. At the gym and after that at home.

02.07.2019

I'm currently reading this very interesting book about the Black Blocs. It really changed my perception about this tactic and how we perceive nonviolent and violent movements. I'm using it for my article and I hope to finish it tomorrow morning. I still have to read half of a chapter and the conclusion, perhaps 50 pages or less. But it's a fluid text and no difficult at all. After I finish it I intend to read two articles by the same author and some short essays based on a libertarian perspective. And then I'm done with the Black Blocs. At least for the moment.

25.06.2019

Today I'm so sick with the flu that I can barely breathe. I started my day reading this amazing book (so far) about writing and composition for researchers. Since I'm trying to deal with the fear of writing and writer's block it came in the right moment. I strongly recommend it. I believe the book is published in English by the title Writing for social scientists: how to start and finish your thesis, book or article.

28.06.2019

21.07.2019

The U.S. fractured its own pillar of power—while Delhi negotiated with patience and self-respect.

There have always been moments that felt larger than me— when the world fell into perfect alignment for a breath. I didn’t yet understand what they shared, only the tightening beneath the skin, the quiet tremor before tears, the calm that comes when will is no longer needed.

I felt it again watching The Return of the King— not in the battle, but in the beacons. Gondor calling Rohan. Once the first fire is lit, no power in the world can stop what has begun.

Later I understood: it was the body’s response to order revealing itself. The beauty of systems that complete themselves. The peace of sequence.

Dominance, at its truest, is not control but composition. To lead is to keep the flame steady— to trust that every light will answer in its time.

Order—burning, inevitable, serene.