#philogelos

A rude astrologer cast a sick boy's horoscope. After promising the mother that the child had many years ahead of him, he demanded payment. When she said, "Come tomorrow and I'll pay you," he objected: "But what if the boy dies during the night and I lose my fee?"

Some cracker jokes on an archaeological theme for your delectation: What do you get in a 5 star pyramid?A tomb with a view How do you ring an Egyptian doorbell?Toot-an’-come-in What do you call a very, very, very, very, very old joke?Pre-hysterical Who invented pens?The Incas Why was the pottery specialist upset?She got fired Why are archaeologists greedy?Because we’ll have archaic, and eat…

It seems that “my” old link doesn’t work any more, so here is a new one. Below are a couple of my favourites :-).

* A man, just back from a trip abroad, went to an incompetent fortune-teller. He asked about his family, and the fortune-teller replied: "Everyone is fine, especially your father." When the man objected that his father had been dead for ten years, the reply came: "Ah, then you must have no clue who your real father is!"

* A boy checked in on the parents of a dead classmate. The father was wailing: "O son, you have left me a cripple!" The mother was crying: "O son, you have taken the light from my eyes!" Later, the boy suggested to his friends: "Well, if he were guilty of all that, he probably deserved to die!"

Ridiamoci su! Come nacque la barzelletta

Nel film cult del 1978 Ecce Bombo, un giovanissimo Nanni Moretti non invitato a una festa imperdibile si tormenta al telefono: “Mi si nota di più se vengo e me ne sto in disparte o se non vengo per niente?”

Nell’antichità i potenziali imbucati non avevano dubbi: ai banchetti ci si andava eccome e senza tenere il muso. Anzi se ne diventava i mattatori, e con un’arma di intrattenimento infallibile,…

Dirty jokes are eternal. I have for you some jokes concerning unsavoury or taboo subjects, because why the hell not.

A man with halitosis goes to a doctor and says, 'My dear doctor, see how my uvula has descended.' When the guy opens his mouth, the doctor turns away and says, 'It's not that your uvula has descended; the problem is that your anus has ascended.' Joke 235 from the Philogelos, 4th century Greece

I am a wonderful help to women, The hope of something to come. I harm No citizen except my slayer. Rooted I stand on a high bed. I am shaggy below. Sometimes the beautiful Peasant's daughter, an eager-armed, Proud woman grabs my body, Rushes my red skin, holds me hard, Claims my head. The curly-haired Woman who catches me fast will feel Our meeting. Her eye will be wet. Riddle 23 from the Exeter Book, tenth century, Old English (The answer is an onion. No really.)

Maij is accused of running a brothel. A young man says about the accusation: "I will keep it up!" The response: "Oh dear man, as long as you keep it up, my house will not fear ruin." Joke 949 from Aernout van Overbeke's Anecdota sive historiae jocosae, 17th century, Dutch

Gorleston Psalter, f.123r