#phil lest

free merch time yay

dm me with your paypal email and the total cost (in your currency) of the shirt+shipping at whatever dan and phil shop you use

i will send you the money

yay

92 days of spooky dan and phil - [12/92]

It has been Sixty hours since I submitted my final exam for the final school year. I should be celebrating my freedom. Yet here I sit, sulking everything away. Parents have been driving me crazy. What I can’t seem to understand is, whether it’s my parents, or just my stupid brain fooling me. If that’s the case, then it seems to be doing a pretty good job because I don’t want them here, They keep asking me about my future and I don’t know how to tell them that frankly, I would rather jump out of my third-floor window than face the world. 

I would try some Netflix, or some delicious spicy food. Crying by the end of it all, looking through my glass windows towards the sky and asking that greater entity what exactly it wants from me. 

I accidentally escaped from myself today as I found myself screaming at my mother. She said hateful things, I replied back. Only to find myself slamming my door at her face and locking it with utmost ferocity. I found myself curled up on the cold floor, incapable of movement. There were either screams or tears or both exiting my body because it just hurts so fucking bad. 

It’s been a few hours, I cried and ranted it all out on a voice note, a voice note sent as a burden to my best friend. Dinner was a packet of cheetoes lying around in my wardrobe and mindless recovery was three episodes of Skins.

At exactly 12:25 AM, my phone lit up with a notification. The notification was of a youtube video. the youtube video had two tall boys playing cards against humanity. All of a sudden, I felt hopeful and grateful and happy. 

At 12:35 AM, I was laughing my guts out. 

I’m not oblivious to the fact that it’s all going to go downhill tomorrow again.

But right now, I feel pretty okay.