#phaselock

I finally got to play Borderlands 3! I’m enjoying the game so far with FL4K :)

The minute we’re fully charged, they send us back to the Basement and experiment on us. They do all sorts of experiments on us. Overcharging, kinetics, and sometimes dissection if they feel the need to be handy.

Most of the experiments they do on me involve overcharging and kinetics since I’m so hyper when I’m fully charged. Right now, I’m at half battery. My depression is starting to kick in right now. I’m not anxious, I’m just moody. I used have panic attacks when I reached lower levels and that cost me dearly in certain situations.

Someone had a panic attack yesterday and I had to calm them down before the guards got to her. Someone snitched though and now we are currently in isolation. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t care, but I am in a maximum security prison so it’s sticky and as one Chaos put it “awkward.” He seemed to know a thing or two about awkward situations. He was kinda awkward when I met him. His brother wasn’t all that awkward and he helped his twin ease into the conversation.

I forgot their names. I know they start with an A –

Suddenly I hear the locks opening and the door slides open. Everything in the prison sub level is low tech since Phasers can still harness energy from technology. The metal is resistant to our powers so we can’t slice the locks open.

I stood up like usual, and let the guard check my shackles and my collar. The collar is electronic but it doesn’t emit any energy and it hinders my absorption ability. I guess I’m going to the shrink again since I’m at that stage again but a lot sooner than I expected.

The guard guides me into the elevator and we travel to sublevel 7. Funny how the least painful part about being here is my lucky number. Funny how this is my 7th time landing in a hell hole like this. But… this is the first time I’ve every entered the famous National Sanctuary: the state-of-the-art maximum security prison pen for the genetically challenged/advanced humans. Human… I laugh at that.

I’m not fucking human.

I never was.

I was always a living lightning rod.

We finally arrived into her office. Dr. Mai (Pronounced my) Loretta (yes that is seriously her name). She received her Ph.D. in genetic psychology so she’s more than qualified to deal with phasers, chaotics, and shields. She finds me fascinating. She’s short and thin and, much like me, has a lot of energy. Today though, I’d rather not absorb her energy. It might make me sick to my stomach with jealousy.

I sat down on the loveseat and looked around the room. Same as usual. Lavender colored walls covered with motivational posters and protocol. Every inch of her mahogany desk was covered in papers and reports. I guess its okay. It’s decent for a billion dollar facility. But then again, I’m a phaser. It’s not supposed to be flashy.

She walked in finally and I stood and bowed as custom. She told me to sit and she excused the guard.

“So,” she began as she flipped through my file, “how is my favorite phaser doing?”

I rolled my eyes. “If it’s all good with you, I’m not in the mood for peppy bullshit.”

Her smile faded. “I figured as much. I’ve been monitoring your vitals and it seems like your dopamine levels have gone down again. A little too quick this time if you ask me.”

“Really?” I gasped, “What gave it away?”

Her face was neutral. Nobody appreciates my sarcasm around here.

She sighed. “I know that depression is normal when your energy is low but this is a bit concerning –”

“For you or your sadistic superiors? Because last time I checked, the only people that matter are the people that deem me a menace to society!”

I looked up. There was hurt in her face. This is the part where I start feeling bad for her even though she works for the very entity that would rather put me through an “accident” rather than let me waste away naturally.

“I’m sorry.” I apologized.

“It’s okay, Ma.” She answered. “I already hear enough death threats and anger a day so it’s not that bad when you lash out.”

Fuck. Why she had to do me like that? I’m already mad depressed enough.

“Anyways,” she shifted in her seat, “I’ll recommend that you cannot go beyond the next phase of testing this week and that you get sunned immediately. My superior would be awfully mad if I gave him a test subject that cannot perform well.”

“Provided I’m going to be the control.” I muttered.

“You’re the best control that this organization has obtained. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t use you in another group.”

Keep telling yourself that, bitch.

“Besides that, yesterday’s incident caused a bit of a stir don’t you think?”

Oh god she wants to talk about that. “Um which part: the part where I try to calm a phaser panic attack, the part where I’m put in isolation because I Shared, or the part where I tried to kill myself last night because of all of that?”

Her silence said all of the above.

“Well I don’t want to talk about my suicide, but I will say I had to Share with her. She went through an overload experiment and she was going burst if I didn’t do that.”

“It’s against the rules.”

“Did you want 26 test subjects to die from a burst like that? Most of them probably couldn’t even swallow more than 25 volts in their body. I couldn’t stand by and let everyone get hurt.”

She tapped her pen against her tablet. She’s knows I’m not wrong. Phasers are rare, but they cause a hell of a lot of trouble when they are maturing. That many subjects dying, logistically, would be a catastrophe.

“I understand,” she agreed, “but you are our star subject. We can’t contaminate you with other energies, especially during transportation. Yesterday’s catastrophe was because our team was short staffed. For the next two weeks, we will be keeping you in isolation indefinitely. I’m sorry but we can’t trust that the collar will suppress your absorption.”

My body felt cold. I couldn’t believe this. I’ve only been here for two months and now I’m about to become an anti-social fuck. I really hate this place.

“Are you okay?”

I looked at her. Rage and heat started to flow within me. “Okay?” I answered vengefully, “You just told me that you’re going to isolate me and I’ve only been here two months. Two fucking months! And now I’m being out in time out for doing the right thing? This is bullshit!”

“Ma please calm down or I will –”

“Use force?” I laughed. “You don’t have the balls to do that. I, on the other hand, am in that kind of mood.”

Somehow I was able to summon some energy I had saved up and slashed it across the room. She ducked in time and it mashed up the cabinets in the back. I started feeling weak. I guess that was too much because I didn’t feel any tranq darts in me. My vision was a bit blurry. Then I felt a force ram into my body and I was on the ground, tackled by my escort.

I guess that was too much commotion for them. Something sticked me in my stomach and I felt even more fatigued.

There’s the tranquilizer serum… damn that shit works fast… Come on Ma, you gotta… you gotta fight it… don’t let it take over your mind.

“… excessive to the very least…” I could hear Doc getting hysterical

“It’s… I don’t care what… It needs to be contained!” said a guard… I think…

“… refer to her as an object. She’s a human being, not a piece of shit!”

Nice analogy, there’s only one problem with that statement Doc…

“… ‘she’ is property of the state. Therefore, we can treat her however we…”

I’m…

“Not like this.”

Not…

“I don’t have time for this!”

Fucking…

“Shoot me then if that will please you.”

Human!

Silence. “Maybe I will.”

Never have been.

A gun shot rang.

Never will be.