#pg 19

Tasth #3 Ragnarok Rumble pt1 page 19

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this one's for the kids who took the role of team mom on the playground while everyone else was playing superhero and supermodel. the sweet little girls and sensitive little boys and tender little ones whose genders were still to be determined, still in flux, still contested territory. the ones who knew, with mysterious skill, exactly how to be what everyone else needed them to be. who knew in their bones how to be a mommy, a daddy, a caregiver of any gender, even though — or perhaps because — the big people at home who were supposed to know didn't. for the teens who were the first one that classmate with the wild hair and the dark makeup and the frightened eyes told about the things that were happening at home. the secret keepers, the unpaid crisis responders, the ones who took frantic calls at all hours of the night and went to the high school guidance counselor ostensibly for assessment therapy, for support for the scars on their arms, but mostly to figure out how to become therapists themselves, because no adult can help a kid the way another kid can. for the ones who grew up to be social workers and nurses and psychologists and any other flavor of professional helper, because they were already doing the helping, so they might as well get paid for it too. because helping and holding and listening and caring were the only times when we felt we knew what we were doing, even though we had no idea. because that was the way that other people loved us. because maybe, we thought in our secret hearts, that's all we were good for. caregiver, i see you. i want to tell you about all the other things you are, all the shapes that are waiting for you to come and live inside. your being is still to be determined, still in flux, still contested territory. there is knowledge in your bones about what it means to become. people are always telling that story about the statue who came to life because she loved a man. let me tell you a secret: she came to life because she wanted to live. it's time to be curious about what lives in the ocean of you beyond the island of other people's needs. caregiver, are you curious? what if i told you: you don't need to heal others to heal yourself, you can just heal yourself. you do not need to give love to others to love yourself, you can just love yourself. within healer and helper, there is warrior, there is priestess, there is holy whore. who knows all the things you could be?

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transcript:

gordon: ugh...i need a hair cut...

phone alert: ping! (get ready bitch)

Page 19 - Cat Cafe