#petty stuff

Hey, could maybe someone give me a ride from the airport tonight?

This and this bus go into the city...

Yeah, I know. It’s also half past eleven during the night, I’m tired, have big bags, night buses in the city are not exactly reliable, and, you know, I’m a girl who might feel insecure alone during the night.

Hey, would someone go halfsies with me on a package of comic book bags? I need some, but I’d never use up a full hundred.

Use the remainer as sandwich bags XD

Alright, so I head up to college next month and my family--my family just in this state (consisting my parents, grandparents on maternal side, & my paternal uncle + his girlfriend) wants to come with on move in day. 

I was talking to my dad about how I don’t want a barrage of people coming to school with me, as it would be VERY crowded (it’s a small women’s school), and he got snippy with me about “well your uncle does a lot for you and he wants to see the campus so of course he gets to come up!”. Right away, he had picked up the main point of my words which was: I don’t want my uncle there.

Here’s the thing. 

My uncle on my dad’s side is a pushy, old retiree & staunch Republican/Trump supporter who expects us to go visit him during summers at his beck and call, when we have other shit to do, like international travel & work. Last year, he got so offended when we didn’t take up his visit request, that he deliberately missed Thanksgiving (not only that, he forced his girlfriend to miss it, too). 

Additionally, he does not like my mom. Why? My mom gave me her last name when I was born & my dad’s family (not my dad himself) despised her for it. But here’s the thing; her reasoning behind it was bc 

- A) they [my mom & dad] were not married at the time, 

- B) she is a feminist, and

- C) she was 100% ready to raise me by herself bc she did not trust my dad to be a father yet (he was immature and kinda needed to wake up), so thus having his name would imply that I’m his child first and foremost, which she absolutely loathed.

She does not like my uncle, either. He constantly hounds her about the proper way to raise me and my sister, as if she doesn’t know herself. He constantly talks about what he did with his only son and how he gave him everything he needed to succeed, including securing a place at state university, buying him his first car, all this other rich white stuff. He pretty much grew up with almost everything on a silver platter.

My mom is a Latina who grew up in a cruel household and had to buy/learn to do everything herself AND dealt with rampant sexism in her workplace before she was able to start her own company. She raised both my sister and I to be self-sufficient, earn our own money, & make our own decisions with only a slight nudge from her. My dad is present and has been since I was a baby, but my mom was (and still is) most definitely the head honcho of our house. We were talking one-on-one about her relationship with my uncle once, and she straight-up said “You are MY baby, and I’ll be damned if that gringo tries to tell ME how to raise you.” (it was said with a very proud smile & I had never felt more thankful that she is my mom)

As much as she will allow my sister and I to explore by ourselves, she is fiercely protective of us when it comes to other human beings.

Which brings me to the point this long, roundabout post is really about.

As I said before, my uncle is a staunch Republican who rarely visits us and barely knows anything about our personal lives.

Meanwhile, I only recently became comfortable enough to buy pride merchandise and hang my flag up in my room. On move-in day at college, if he’s there, he’s going to see all of my pride stuff. 

I am fucking terrified of that happening, bc only my immediate family (mom, dad, sister) knows that I have all this stuff. Not even my grandparents (one of whom is Catholic, one of whom is a Republican, both of whom still love & accept me) have seen it.

I told my mom about my fears today & she said she would talk with my dad about it. I hope he doesn’t show up.

I haven't been doing that well lately. My left ear has been buzzing on and off, even after using hydrogen peroxide to try to drain my wax, my left cheek has two minor burns on it from my hair straightener, and this morning, I felt as if I was on the verge of tears.

Under a read more because this is just grumpy venting lmao