How I think Deadpool and other characters would converse because he is ALWAYS the main character (yes written by the man himself) PART 1:
Spidey, on a dead asf patrol: oh my god this is painful.
???: cavalry has arrived to make your day way better!
Spidey, turns: who said that?!
Deadpool: only your favourite anti-hero who you actually hate but we’re gonna ignore that part.
Spider: oh. It’s you.
Deadpool: well don’t sound too discouraged itsy bitsy. I’m not all that excited to see you either.
Peter: we both know that’s a lie.
Deadpool: True, who wouldn’t wanna see you in a tight ass red spandex suit. Damn captain America’s got competition.
Spidey: stop looking at my ass, Wade.
Deadpool: oh my, first naming? I was preparing for “Dickwad” or “shitshow” or “my biggest disappointment” oh- wait- scrap that last one, my father will sue for copyright.
Spidey: Are you always this loud or have my ears unblocked?
Deadpool: I never thought I’d hear mentions of me and the word “unblocked” from you. But everyday a school day! Go to school, kids.
Spidey: Wade.
Deadpool: C’monnn you know by now that the obnoxious loudness and ongoing darkly humorous jokes are a package deal, trans black widow! Shouldn’t have ordered if you didn’t want it allllll.
Spidey: I didn’t “order” anything apart from a restraining order.
Deadpool: Damn. Welp, you can always have some of mine sweetheart! I got extra fries coz I knew you’d be hungry.
Spidey: are you kidding.
Deadpool: totally, I’m too broke for shit like that, spidey. In this economy? Please. But seriously, can you order some takeout? I am STARVING.
Spidey: we are on the roof of one of the tallest buildings in queens. And it’s inaccessible. How would the delivery worker get up here.
Deadpool: SEE?! Im so starved, I can’t even think straight!
Deadpool: …Well I never think straight when you’re here but you get the idea. WINK.
Spidey: …
Deadpool: DOUBLE WINK.
Spidey: Wade-
Deadpool: TRIPLE WI-
Spidey: WADE.
Deadpool: Heard me the first time. Got it.
Spidey: I’ll order take out if you shut up, shove it up your ass and call it a day.
Deadpool: …
Spidey: …
Spidey: okay. *goes back to typing*
Deadpool: …that’s what she said-
Spidey: SHUT THE FU-
