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been thinking about this all morning
you know how you can accomplish something amazing and still feel... empty? like you're waiting for someone to tell you it matters?
realized i've been giving everyone else the power to decide if i'm good enough
while simultaneously never giving myself that same grace
like what if i've been the gatekeeper of my own approval this whole time
wild concept: i don't need permission to think i'm worthy
anyway made this thing about it
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Magical health through mental health
Okay.
So, I struggle a lot with time management and motivation. When I have a night off to myself, all those things I was waiting to do through the week just don’t seem to happen. The long empty stretch of the night is just suddenly gone, and I have nothing to show for it.
Or at least that’s how it feels.
So, just like I started this blog to remind myself I DO actually keep up with my journaling, I’m going to start recapping the good stuff I get done on my nights off. Cause mental health is TOTALLY CRUCIAL to magical health. Depression takes up so much energy, it’s just so exhausting--and fighting negative self-talk is a little easier for me if I have PROOF somewhere else to back myself up. So, gonna free up some of that energy I spend hating on myself, and get myself on more of a “I can totes do things” track. I don’t expect to magically make myself better by positive thinking, but man, it can’t hurt, right?
Tonight, I cleaned the kitchen. I took the dog for a long walk. I did a load of laundry. I filed my taxes. I did some tarot journaling. I intend to do some writing on Asylum, but if it doesn’t happen, I totally wrote A BUNCH tonight on the blog. It counts. They’re words, they’re helping me wordsmith.
That is a long list. There are some super important things on there. There are some equally important little things that make the day to day run. I’m going to give myself a little down time too, and let myself enjoy a break. Days off are for recharging, not just getting non-work work done. I am allow to rest.
What i always thought is if ypu ever feel ugly think of ypur reflection like if you saw a person that was ypu ,but you looked at yhem would you go up to them and tell them they are ugly? No? Then why do it to yourself?
i always think it's kind of funny how much better about yourself you feel when you're wearing cute underwear.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I am allowed to be sick. I am not personally responsible for the success of my workplace. I am allowed to put myself before work.
Five years ago, hell even four, I'd be bothered by this all, but that's only because I was young and immature. That's the thing. Some people never grow out of their immaturity and grow deeper into it the older they get. At 23, I can honestly say I don't give two fucks and am secure in the person I am. I know who I am, I know what I think about myself, and I don't need validation from anyone else.
i blog, therefor, i am
