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If I joke about my depression and you go off about how It’s a serious matter I shouldn’t joke about.
Please tell someone who doesn’t live with it everyday. I fucking know that. That’s why I’m making jokes. They’re highlighting the small bit of happiness I’m experiencing. So in short, fuck off.
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Why am I here... i have no clue.
Going dark and moody with one of my latest forests shots today. You can find it in my @society6 shop -> HERE <-
Any kind of support is always appreciated, and needed to stay alive =) Society6 - Displate - Redbubble - DesignByHumans - Posterlounge - LiveHeroes
The traitor, I told them all not to ever touch the toys, but they never listen. I won’t stand for this.
🕸🌸🕸🌸🕸
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Almost certain I caught an orb in this picture. I was sitting on my couch and I saw it moving when I turned the flash on I immediately looked up from the camera to see if it was a bug and nothing was there. It was directly in front of me and my mom.
The unanswered
~So I actually suck at writing, but recently thoughts of my eerie home town has really been on my mind. I thought I would share this creepy true, but highly embellished story with you guys.~
As a child, the last place you would expect to find comfort in was a cemetery. But in my world, that’s exactly where I found mine. You see, in my little square mile town in New Jersey, there was only so much you can do as a 10 year old. In our town there was a church, St. Anthony’s to be exact, our small Christian academy, a general store, a morgue and the graveyard. The cemetery was our first playground, and the morgue was our second. Fucked up right? Me and my best friend Austin used to play in our backyard everyday. Our cemetery backyard, but then… something happened.
You would think that the gravestones that lined the graveyard were eerie, maybe to some, but not to me and Austin. Some were recently placed, whereas others, cracked and crumbling. Mold covered the engravings dedicated to the dead, trees leaning towards the stones, branches reaching out to each other. The smell of old stone filled the dry air, weeds covering the graves of the dead, loved ones long since stopped visiting, but we did. Everyday. Gravel paths weave through the maze of graves, allowing passersby to pay their respects to the people lined up in the earth’s embrace. I still remember to this day, all around are the tombstones with their faded etching, a roll-call for the people who cannot answer. Growing up in a Christian community I was always told, for when their bodies became still and cold they became a cadaver, not a person. Their soul, their living being had moved on to God, to walk with Jesus and be healed.
Me and austin went to different schools. I went to St. Mary’s, the Christian Academy, and Austin went to the public school outside of our town. I would walk home from school and wait for Austin at the end of our street for him to get off his bus. After our homework and chores were done, we would runoff to the rows of grave markers. To get to the paved road, we hiked up a mountain of a hill, out of breath and tired. At the top of the hill was a mausoleum, you know that thing in the haunted mansion that goes underground inside a cemetery, that hold even more dead bodies. To get to the mausoleum, we had to climb rocks that had been cemented together, in order to lift the small structure further from the ground. Me and Austin would always climb up these rocks as if it were some vast expedition, but revisiting it now, the rocks end only reached to my mid torso.
We had started our grand journey climbing to the top of the rocks, excited as always. Reaching the top was always some sort of victory for the both of us, and on that day for some reason, it peaked our energy levels. I could tell in austin’s eyes that he had an idea. An idea that obviously wouldn’t gain the consent of our parents.
“I dare you to knock on the door.” I remember the distinct taunt in his voice. And the I bet you won’t do it smirk that crawled onto his face moments after the words were created on his tongue. I honestly can’t remember how we knew what the mausoleum was, I suppose it’s just common knowledge for someone who grew up in a cemetery. I never believed in ghosts, or the ability for the dead to come back to life, but the dare I had just received made me apprehensive. I felt uncomfortable even standing a few feet from the building. “Why don’t you do it?” I was never an outspoken kid, contrary to now, I was quiet and would rather take the safe route. “I’ll do if if you do it first!” The classic 10 year old phrase. in my mind I could back out and be seen as a baby or I could stand by what I believed in and prove there is nothing to be afraid of. My choice of black double doors were set on hinges as an entrance, not that anyone ever willingly entered. They matched the rest of the tumulus, which I have now learned is a mausoleum that contain columns. They look similar to structures built by the ancient Greeks. I sat leaning against the furthest column from the door pondering my options when I finally decided that I’m not a baby. “Well?” Austin jabbed me, provoking me to get moving. I walked over to the doors with false confidence. I was tense but I acted as calm as I could. My fist was balled and the knock when my fist collided with the door came quietly first and then there was silence. I want nothing more than to tell you that the paranormal is all bullshit… but what happened next still chills me to this day and I refuse to go within 10 feet of the doors. After the knock as I began to walk away, proud and self-assured that nothing was going to happen. I remember the exact moment I was walking away from the front door when what sounded like a furious person was now hitting the door with all their strength, with any heavy object they could find. I could tell you that we both calmly brushed it off as nothing, but that would be straight up bullshit. The truth is we have never hightailed it so fast anywhere in our short young lives. However, when we reached the safe wooden porch that was laid across the front of my home, we both tried to brush it off as the echo of my knock. Even though we both knew… there’s no way that’s what it was.
I wake up every night wondering what happened the night before, but all I can ever do is try fix the chaos around me. They will drive me insane.
