#personal romance

I’m so sorry if I did something that fucked things up between us. Our relationship was so important to me and sometimes talking to you was the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning. I’ve never felt the way I do about you before, even after all these months and maybe that caused me to put you on a pedestal. We’re both just human, after all. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I think I felt something akin to that when I first came across your profile and maybe that clouded my judgement.

However, the thing that I think hurt me most about our last conversation was that I had previously confided in you that I’m bad at social cues and you were mad at me for not understanding the subtext and nuances of the breakup message. That you were so mad that I asked to still be friends. That you were mad that I hadn’t moved on from you already. Truthfully, part of the reason I’m so bad at social cues is that I’m autistic and I don’t always understand things that to other people are a given. I say that not as an excuse, but as an explanation of why I am the way I am. I guess it hurt me that you reacted so viscerally to something that’s a part of me, even if it is technically a flaw of mine.

I just wish things could be different. I miss you everyday, I miss us. If you don’t want to talk to me again or you block me after this, I understand, but I still hope that one day we’ll be in each other’s lives again. I love you.

I know what you said, I just really miss talking to you. I feel like we’re very similar people who’ve dealt with similar hardships and I see a lot of myself in you. I’ve never made a connection with anyone the way I have with you and I’d still like to be friends and keep in contact.