#personal deadlines

So it turns out, for me to feel in control of my life -- I like to make deadlines. By the time I'm 25 I'll have a book in the works. By the time I'm 24 I'll be working towards getting a more advanced degree. By next fall I'll be looking for another apartment. By next week I'll be able to run my mile in under 7 minutes. (Some fictitious goals, some rather real existing ones.)

And it goes on. And on. And on.

Call it the side-effect of being a journalist, or call it the side-effect of being a touch of a control freak. I'm learning, while it is good to have goals, the constant planning and self-pressure can be a little unhealthy.

Why?

Because as soon as I get a day, or a year, or a month from my self-imposed deadline, I stress like crazy. Mouth ulcers. Lack of appetite. Tears. Self-deprecation. Long rants. Torturing of those closest to me. 

I either get an ego-boost and meet my goal, or once again fail to meet my own expectations. 

Enough is enough. I'm finally learning that, goals are okay. In fact, goals are great. But I need to be a little more flexible. Sometimes you have to give life room to be what it is going to be!

All this said because, this past month had been a deadline for a lot of things in my life. Some of them happened, some of them didn't. And all of that is okay. I'm okay. I'm happy, and the goals that I didn't reach? Well -- they can be adjusted.

While newspapers might not print your article if you turned it in a few months late -- other dreams can still be cashed in. And trying to understand that, has made my life exponentially easier in the past week.