Eurovision 2010s: 200 - 195
200. Joe & Jake - “You’re not alone”
United Kingdom 2015
That’s right, I randomly like Jake and Joe. Bet you didn”t see that coming! 🤭 and I mean, why shouldn’t I? The song is fairly cute, a good example of the UK sending a mediocrity but making it just genuine and charming enough so I can care.
Obviously there’s also the amusing undercurrent of intense bromosexuality (which is basically homosexuality, but without the sex), which I as a gay person always experience as precious. There’s enough material here to validate a Jake + Joe shipping culture, which is more than what can be said of say, the people (Italians) who are still trying to make Meta + Moro happen. It’s never gonna happen people, get a new hobby!!!
Anyway, Jake > Joe, partially because he’s better/cuter (controversial, I know!) but mostly because Jake Shakeshaft is a top five name in the herstory of names. 🤗
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199. Jon Lillygreen & The Islanders - “Life looks better in spring”
Cyprus 2010
Ah yes, we are well deep into the “this is cute” phase of the ranking, no need ot repeat myself all over. “Life looks better in spring” trends a bit too White Guy With a Guitar for me, but overall it’s quite charming. I am particularly fond of the backing vocals. They give this otherwise quiet song some well-appreciated texture for me to savor.
Also contributing to the Cypriot storyline of recruiting entrants that aren’t from Cyprus. <3
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198. Pernilla - “När jag blundar”
Finland 2012
Continuing down the same paradigm of lovable introversion we find this sugary fairy ballad. From Finland, in SWEDISH <3 Pernilla’s main draw here is that her ballad is a tribute to her mother, without delving into evil exploitative shit like the others of its kind do. Awwwwwdorable. Sadly, she also fell victim to 2012′s ubiquitous sound issues. 😭
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197. Mélanie René - “Time to shine”
Switzerland 2015
Oh another of those cute- NOPE, THOUGHT ~WRONG~ BITCHES!! Mélanie René has had enough with those losers on the internet equating her with the rest of those wallflowers. It’s her time, her moment and she’s not gonna let go of it!! There’s nothing she’s afraid of, she’ll show you what she’s made of, show you all it’s ~her time to shine~
and then she finished last. Oh well. 🤭
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196. ManuElla - “Blue and red”
Slovenia 2016
So, as it happens, Taylor Swift is actually one of my biggest non-ESC guilty pleasures 🤗 So, when this bargain bin TSwift marched on the stage with the exact same ~energy~ flowing down her meridians, I was immediately hooked. ManuElla’s charm is further bolstered by the fact that she, like most Slovene entrants, is disarminingly hopeless and was never going to qualify. 🤗 ALAYAYAYAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY.