Eurovision 2010s: 200 - 195
200. Joe & Jake -Â âYouâre not aloneâ
United Kingdom 2015
Thatâs right, I randomly like Jake and Joe. Bet you didnât see that coming! đ€ and I mean, why shouldnât I? The song is fairly cute, a good example of the UK sending a mediocrity but making it just genuine and charming enough so I can care.Â
Obviously thereâs also the amusing undercurrent of intense bromosexuality (which is basically homosexuality, but without the sex), which I as a gay person always experience as precious. Thereâs enough material here to validate a Jake + Joe shipping culture, which is more than what can be said of say, the people (Italians) who are still trying to make Meta + Moro happen. Itâs never gonna happen people, get a new hobby!!!
Anyway, Jake > Joe, partially because heâs better/cuter (controversial, I know!) but mostly because Jake Shakeshaft is a top five name in the herstory of names. đ€
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199. Jon Lillygreen & The Islanders -Â âLife looks better in springâ
Cyprus 2010
Ah yes, we are well deep into the âthis is cuteâ phase of the ranking, no need ot repeat myself all over. âLife looks better in springâ trends a bit too White Guy With a Guitar for me, but overall itâs quite charming. I am particularly fond of the backing vocals. They give this otherwise quiet song some well-appreciated texture for me to savor.Â
Also contributing to the Cypriot storyline of recruiting entrants that arenât from Cyprus. <3
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198. Pernilla - âNĂ€r jag blundarâ
Finland 2012Â
Continuing down the same paradigm of lovable introversion we find this sugary fairy ballad. From Finland, in SWEDISH <3 Pernillaâs main draw here is that her ballad is a tribute to her mother, without delving into evil exploitative shit like the others of its kind do. Awwwwwdorable. Sadly, she also fell victim to 2012âČs ubiquitous sound issues. đ
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197. MĂ©lanie RenĂ© - âTime to shineâ
Switzerland 2015
Oh another of those cute- NOPE, THOUGHT ~WRONG~ BITCHES!! MĂ©lanie RenĂ© has had enough with those losers on the internet equating her with the rest of those wallflowers. Itâs her time, her moment and sheâs not gonna let go of it!! Thereâs nothing sheâs afraid of, sheâll show you what sheâs made of, show you all itâs ~her time to shine~
and then she finished last. Oh well. đ€
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196. ManuElla -Â âBlue and redâ
Slovenia 2016
So, as it happens, Taylor Swift is actually one of my biggest non-ESC guilty pleasures đ€ So, when this bargain bin TSwift marched on the stage with the exact same ~energy~ flowing down her meridians, I was immediately hooked. ManuEllaâs charm is further bolstered by the fact that she, like most Slovene entrants, is disarminingly hopeless and was never going to qualify. đ€ ALAYAYAYAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY.