#permanent mark

2 Months ago

You listen to your boyfriend's steady heartbeat as you lay your head on his chest. An arm around his waist and your fingers idly trace patterns on his clothed abs. His fingers softly comb through your hair as he used his other hand to read on his tablet. Every now and then you gently kiss his chest and he on your forehead. This is how you both loved spending your Sunday afternoons, just enjoying each other's presence, relaxing nothing too extraordinary.

“Kenny”

“Hmm?”

“I think I want another tattoo.”

Nanami ever so slightly frowns and looks down at your face.

“Another one?”

“What? You don’t like my tattoos?” you peer up at him as he sets down his tablet and kisses your forehead a few times.

“No, that’s not it. I was just asking because you got one quite recently. And you know I love them on you sweetheart”. And he does. 

While Nanami isn’t a fan of tattoos, piercings or body modifications on himself, he didn’t care or mind when it came to others. If anything, he found them interesting, the art and stories behind some of them. So when he started dating you, he found each little tattoo a pleasant surprise. On your first date you spoke fondly of the little symbol and quote on your arm. Something you got with your two close friends. A little one he caught behind your ear as he wrapped your scarf around your neck and secured your hat on your head during your first snow day together. The one under your breast he found when you first made love. He loved tracing the permanent patterns with his fingers, lips and tongue. He thinks they look so sexy on your skin.

“I know but I really want this one because it’s gonna be the most important one”.

“Oh? Ok, so when do you want to get it? And can you tell me about it?” Nanami tried to think about any significant events that may have happened for you to really want this tattoo, but nothing came to mind. You awkwardly clear your throat.

“I might get it in a few weeks. And, well, I kinda need your permission for this one first Ken.” Nanami shifts to meet your eyes, slightly confused. You looked quite serious and nervous. 

“Angel, you don’t need my permission for this. You can do whatever you want, it’s your body. Why would you think you need to ask for my permission?” He strokes your cheek tilting your head up for a kiss. 

“It’s not a tattoo of Chris Evans is it?” He asks, trying to lighten your mood a bit. 

“Because if it is, you don’t get my permission for it. I’m sorry Y/N, but you said I’m the only blond in your life. I already get jealous when you watch him in his Captain Marvel hero suit. I don’t need him looking at me everyday.” He huffs, feigning annoyance.

You giggle peppering his face with kisses.

“It’s ‘Captain America’ Ken. And no it’s not Chris Evans.” You bite your bottom lip trying to find a way to tell Kento what you want without being embarrassed. 

“You can tell me angel”. He laces his fingers through yours and kisses your knuckles to encourage you.

“I want… I want to get a tattoo of… uhm… ofyourname!”

You look at him waiting for a reaction. Your eyes bouncing between his.

“Of what?” Nanami questions what he heard.

“I want a tattoo of your name,” you whispered.

“Of my name?” He asks still in disbelief.

“No Ken, the neighbours name. Of course your name. Who else?” You sit up now, still trying to decipher your boyfriend's reaction.

He still stares at you. “Are… are you sure?”

You blink and stare for a moment before hastily moving away from him and off the bed.

“Forget I said anything. I knew it was stupid and embaressing.”

“No! No, angel, wait!” Nanami leaps up from his position on the bed, yanking you back. You fall on his lap.

“Darling, that’s not what I meant. It’s just... Please look at me.” He moves you so you straddle him. You look up at him, eyes slightly glossy, biting down on your bottom lip. He didn’t mean for it to come out like that. He was just surprised you wanted his name on your skin forever. It surprised him even more because he knew how much it took for you to even give into this relationship. 

You both met 3 years ago and have been dating for 2 years. Nanami was taken away by you in an instant. When he first asked you out you were very reluctant. Later on you shared that you were initially scared due to a previous experience. You didn't go too much into detail but you did explain that you wanted to find love and be in a relationship. But you also didn’t want to rush into things or rely on that person and get hurt again. He let you know that he wanted to be with you and would be happy to try your pace. And that’s exactly what you’ve been doing. You recently moved in together and have been moving at a steady pace. So something like a name tattoo was quite big for your relationship.

“I didn’t mean to upset you angel. It's just, that's a tattoo. Of my name."

You look at him, "What's your point Ken?"

"That's a tattoo. A permanent mark. Of my name. Like forever." He explains so obviously.

You can't help but softly laugh at him.

"Well yeah Ken, that's how tattoos work. I want your name on me forever because I want you forever." Nanami feels his heart thumping so hard.

"If you'll have me forever too that is. I love you so much and I want to do this. But that's why I need your permission. This is forever."

Nanami gawked at you for a few seconds before flipping you over and pinning you on the bed.

"Y/N, are you seriously asking me that? Of course I want you forever!”

You laugh at your boyfriend's uncharacteristic little outburst, happy he’s okay with this. You reach up and pull him down closer by his neck.

“I love you Kento. So damn much. Thank you for being patient with me. You really taught me I’m worthy of love and not just something to throw away when something better comes along.” Your eyes meet his beautiful brown eyes, tears escaping yours. 

“Hey, please don’t cry,” he kisses away your tears. “Y/N, you are the best thing to have ever happened to me. I am so lucky to have you. We don’t have to talk about it, but I will never hurt you like that. I love you so much. I’m so in love with you”

“I know Ken. I’m crying because I know you do. But I want this little thing for me and you. I know it’s silly but It will mean a lot.”

With no warning, he kisses you. You pull him in by his hair to deepen the kiss causing him to groan into your mouth. He pulls back, leaning on an elbow by your head and stroking your face with the other hand.

“Alright, so I guess you’re getting my name then.”

“Mhm”

His hand travels to your waist, lightly squeezing. “Wanna show me where you’ll put me?” he asks, lightly teasing.

“Hmm, I dunno yet. Wanna help me choose? Where do you want to put yourself?”

Nanami’s moves a hand up to hold and gently squeeze your breast, his thumb rubbing your nipple over your tank top. 

“Hmm, I dunno,” he mimics you. “I’ll have to check and see properly. I need to make sure we put it in the best spot on you.” he nibbles on your neck, making you grind up onto his growing bulge. 

“Go ahead.” you whisper, closing your eyes as he starts to remove your top. You both knew you’d have to revisit the tattoo placement later.

You had called Suguru the following day to book an appointment for yourself in a few weeks. You grew more and more excited showing Nanami the different designs Suguru had sketched out. You both chose one of the designs and decided to place it on your collarbone. While you’re excited, your boyfriend has been nervous for the past 2 weeks since that night. All he could think about was this tattoo and what it means for you. The weight of this small tattoo of his name seemed huge for him. Your appointment was a week away and Nanami feels pressed for time. He needs to do something.

You’re both lounging in the living room when Nanami gets a call. He jumps up to excuse himself, moving to the bedroom to answer his phone. Your eyes trail behind him. He’s been acting weird for the past few days and you were getting slightly nervous. You shake your head of any negative thoughts. A few minutes later Nanami comes back with his little notebook clearing his throat.

“Uh, Y/N? Can I talk to you about something?” he timidly asks.

“I, uh, yeah. Sure Ken. Is everything okay?” You have no idea what he is nervous about but it was rubbing off on you even more. 

He sits beside you on the sofa looking at his notebook.

“I know you’re going to see Suguru tomorrow for the tattoo. But I… I want you to change it.”

“Like a different design?” You’re a little confused now, not knowing why he wants to change it last minute.

“Yeah. And I want you to put it somewhere else. Here, do you like this?” Nanami hands you his notebook he’s been holding so protectively. 

“I spoke to Suguru to change the appointment slot”, you hear him say as you flick open the book.

You start to question why he would need to change the appointment if it’s just the design and placement change. But you stop yourself when you see two sketches of both of your names in beautiful calligraphy. You look up to find Nanami kneeling on the floor in front of you, looking like a shy schoolboy. 

“Do you like them? Suguru can fix them up. I want to get one with you, I asked him if he can add me to the appointment.”

“You want to get a tattoo with me?” You look at him, completely surprised by this.

“Yes. And I want us to have it here”, he holds your left hand, stroking the ring finger with his thumb. "Is that okay?"

You stare down at your hands, too scared to guess what he might be implying. Your heart feels like it’s about to escape past your throat.

“Y/N I love you and I’m so in love with you. I keep thinking about the day you asked me about the tattoo and what it would mean for you. What I mean to you. And I want to show you and tell you how much you mean to me too.”

A lump forms at your throat and tears begin to fill your eyes. Still holding your hand, Nanami continues. 

“You said it that day, this is forever. I want you forever. I want your name permanently marked on my skin, my mind, my soul, my heart. Everywhere I possibly can.” 

He looks deep into your eyes, his eyes full of love. He brings your hand up to his lips kissing the spot where he hopes you’ll adorn with his name. 

“So I want to use these tattoos to ask you something.”

You look at him in anticipation.

“Y/N, please will you do the honour of marrying me? Of being my wife and being my forever?”

A breathy sob escapes your lips and the unshed tears fall. Seeing this, Nanami worries and thinks he might have rushed into this.

“Yes”, you whisper.

“Yes”. You say louder. “Oh my god Ken, yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!” 

You throw yourself into his arms kissing him, he holds you tight kissing you back. The both of you pull back smiling, foreheads touching, staying like this for a while.

“Mrs Nanami”, he whispers as though it’s a sacred prayer. He sits up and reaches into his pocket.

“I did actually get a ring a long time ago." His face and ears tinted pink at his revelation.

"May I?” He asks, holding out his hand.

Nodding eagerly, you place your hand in his and he slips on the ring. "And I guess it works in case you don't want to do the tattoo thing."

Your smile drops to a pout while looking at the ring, and this causes Nanami’s face to drop slightly.

“What happened? Do you not like it? We can change it sweetheart, it’s not a problem.” He moves to take the ring.

“No Kenny! It’s beautiful. But it’s gonna cover your name. But then I also want to wear it.” you still pout at your little dilemma.

Nanami laughs softly at you. “Just wear it on the other hand. It’s all the same.”

“I love you Nanami Kento”

“And I love you, soon to be Nanami Y/N”.

***************

“And then she said yes. Luckily for me”.

Both men are staring at your name on Nanami’s finger.

It can’t be. It can’t be Y/N, can it? Not my Y/N. Gojo internally questions. And on cue, the universe answers his question.

Your face pops up on Nanami’s phone as you call him. It’s a picture of you and Kento. You’re smiling facing the camera, while he holds you close, nuzzling and smiling into your cheek. Blue eyes lock onto your face on the screen. Gojo can feel and hear his heart pounding in his ears. His chest tightens and he feels like he can’t breathe. You look so much more beautiful than what he remembers. Your smile is brighter than he remembers. A smile he’s never had the privilege of seeing in person. He understands why. You’re obviously being loved far better than he ever did.

“I’m sorry, I’m going to have to take this.” The blond announces, moving to grab his phone, snapping his colleague out of his shock.

“Oh, yeah, sure. Uhm, I’ll leave. I’ll take the files with me.” 

Gojo picks up the files, turning to Nanami before leaving.

“Congratulations by the way. She’s really beautiful”. He leaves before Nanami is able to utter a thanks.

Your angelic face kept Gojo up longer than normal that night and many nights after.

***************

Gojo knew he fucked up all those years ago when he cheated on you. Throwing away so many years you spent loving him. He had been praying for forgiveness, repenting for what he’d done to you silently since then. He knew you forgave him, but he still felt like he owed you so much. Ever since the encounter with Nanami nearly a year ago, he promised to pray for your happiness instead. And he prayed for that twice as hard today.

You were glowing as you stood taking pictures with your husband, man of honour and bridesmaid. Gojo couldn’t tell if you were glowing due to being the blushing bride or due to the small bump that was being shielded by yours and Nanami’s hands. Your rings could not shine brighter under the sun, nor could the ink under them be bolder and blacker. He watches as Nanami leans in whispering in your ear, causing you to smile bashfully and the colour in your cheeks to deepen. He can’t make out what you say back, instead hearing Suguru argue with Shoko that he’s your man of honour and she has to take his orders.

Unbeknownst to you, watching longingly at the scene in front of him, Gojo can’t help but think that should have been him. You, his bride, Suguru jokingly irritating him and Shoko fussing over you. Well it could have been him. Gojo’s been able to put on a mask for the rest of the world to show he’s been great and is this happy hyper guy. But that’s far from the truth. He watches on with a small sad smile on his face.

And beside him, his long term girlfriend longingly watches him. Rie thinks that they could have had something like this too. But she knows this is something she can only dream of at night, while her beloved boyfriend dreams of you. Gojo and Rie were just an illusion for each other.

She reaches out to hold Gojo’s hand. He turns his attention to her, snapping out of his daydream. He pulls his hand away to scratch his jaw to try and mask the unwanted touch. 

“Let’s go baby.” he mutters.

“Okay Toru…” but he’s already walking out of the venue.

Before following Gojo, Rie takes one more look at you. You look so happy as you’re led to the dancefloor by Suguru and she should be happy too. Because you’ve actually moved on. She and her boyfriend can too and no longer have to carry this guilt and stagnant feeling they carried for years. But that was a stretch. Rie never had Gojo, because he was always with you. When they walked, talked, ate, slept, fucked. You left a mark on him that will never be erased. And she doesn’t think he wants it gone. She stays with him anyway, even if this is the best she’ll get from him.

You’re so focused on your husband, that you missed the lingering eyes on you that have since left. Nanami gracefully moves across the floor to take over from Suguru. He places your bare arms around his neck before placing his hands on your waist.

“You feeling okay Mrs Nanami?”, he asks before placing a kiss on your forehead.

“Never felt better Mr Nanami”, you smile back.

“And how's the little bun in there?” He asks, placing a hand over your belly.

“Doing great.” You giggle. “Not making mommy sick today, thankfully” 

He leans his head lower, lips by your ears and whispers “I can’t wait to have you all to myself later.” His lips move to your neck and down to your naked shoulders.

“Kento!” You can’t help but laugh at his neediness. “Everyone’s watching”.

He groans and stands tall again. Brown eyes looking down into your eyes.

“How did I get so lucky? You’ve made me so happy, angel. I feel like I can't get happier or love you any more. But then you prove me wrong everyday.”

Your arms pull him closer. The scars on your arms give off a subtle shine from the sun. But these marks no longer get your attention. The marks of your past no longer yell sadness, anger or betrayal. They show your strength and healing. And you’re too focused on building your future with the man who left the most beautiful mark on you yet.

“I love you Kento”