#people changes

so you got married. in copenhagen of all places wtf. way to go tho dude. i knew it was coming, i just didnt know when or where or whatever else. honestly...and selfishly...i kind of expected you to like pop out from nowhere and send me and invite or something for a big homecoming wedding kind of thing. but obviously that hasnt happened.

im really happy for you two but im also at the same loss that i have been for years, which is the loss of one of my closest friends. sorry, i cant help this “selfishness” thing. she didnt take you away from me or anything like that and im really glad you two have each other and the road that you guys have paved together is beautiful and like a love story in a book...but i just dont have you in my life anymore. im kind of on the fence about how you feel about me because you havent reached out or anything in a really, really long time and im almost certain you may have unfriended me on facebook. maybe im leading to conclusions or im just crazy (im definitely crazy). i guess i could speculate that our friendship is over totally and in the past. maybe i burned you and your wife out from all the insane skype calls and incessant texting and shit about jessie years ago, but your wife said it best with a link to a video for dionne warwick’s “thats what friends are for”. i would still like to think that sort of thing is what friends are for but the older i get i find myself in the position to give out love or friendship rather than receive it. not that the past four years have been bad or stressful or anything like that at all in fact, but i DID just break up with my girlfriend. so...how coincedental that both of these chapters in our life are happening at the same time, whether they be only a couple of thousand miles away and on opposite coasts of the same country or in completely seperate countries and across oceans.

life is crazy man. people are so different now...you wouldnt believe the shit ive heard come out of the mouth of someone we both used to be very close to. i would imagine youre different now too and we wouldnt know each other if we were to talk. its pretty fucking sad. i guess. i dunno. youve got your life and ive got mine and those are two completely seperate things. i dont expect you to ever see this but i love you and i love your wife and i hope that only good memories are brought to mind when you think of me because they certainly are in my head for you.

god fucking damn i really hate change.

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