#pelvic floor dyfunction

I'm really bummed; I had really hoped they would find a diverticulum. I cried all the way to work. I had been at work for a little while, when my buddy asked if I was feeling okay because my voice was scratchy. He looked at me then asked if I was sad, and after pausing for a few, I said, "Yeah, because I don't need surgery." Out of context, that is an extremely ridiculous sentence. Then I teared up and changed the subject. He messaged me a few minutes later apologizing and telling me to think of corgis. I told him I appreciated his concern (I really do) and not to worry about it. I feel bad about making him feel bad lol.

The next step is to call this pain doctor to set up pudendal nerve blocks. From the little I have read about them, they are extremely painful, but can have really good long-term results. My biggest concern is that I won't have *any* feeling down there...

So, our up north vacation was cut short due to a flare.

Shortly after I posted the pictures of the Mackinac Bridge, etc, I went to the bathroom and it hurt really bad when I peed (usually I can control the burning by drinking a lot of water). I was in pain for a while after, then my discomfort worse (the discomfort where I'm "in the mood" but not at the same time). I took a nice bath (our hotel room had a jacuzzi in it :) ), which helped for a little bit, then the discomfort got worse. I laid down and finally fell asleep.

The next morning I was feeling a little better as we got ready to check out. We went to lunch at Big Boy after crossing into the Upper Peninsula, and I just kept feeling worse and worse. Jason and I decided I should not push myself to drive the extra 4 hours and be away from home for a few more days. Jason called my grandpa, let him know what was going on, and we headed home. I then relaxed for the rest of my vacation, until I went back to work on Wednesday. 

I am very lucky to have such an amazing husband; he does not push me to fight through the illness, but he supports me when I want to do so. He is very supportive and never questions what I can or cannot do.

My family was also very understanding. They told me my health is the most important thing, and to make sure I get take care of. :)

I am really bummed I didn't get to see my family, but I have 5 vacation days left this year, and I think I will take that time to go see them. :)

I'm feeling better. I finished the antibiotics for my strep throat, which I think were interfering with my normal IC meds. I have had issues with antibiotics in the past, and I read that antibiotics can affect my amitriptyline (I already knew they can interfere with birth control).

Every morning, for roughly the last three weeks, I have woken up with a sore throat. It would usually go away by the time I had gotten to work and drank some water. I assumed it was caused by the air in our house being super dry.

I got a bit inebriated last night, and when I got home and went to bed, I kept thinking my throat was closing up. I would cough a bit, feel better for a little while, then the feeling of my throat closing would come back. This happened 4 or 5 times.

I woke up this morning to do a router migration for work, and my throat still hurt/felt swollen. I figured it was from the alcohol/hangover. Hubs and I went to get lunch after I was done working; I looked at my throat in the car mirror and saw big white spots on my tonsils. It also hurt to eat my sandwich. I had strep and tonsilitis at least once a year when I was a kid, so I know the warning signs.

I went to urgent care and they confirmed it was either strep or tonsilitis; the doctor was leaning more toward strep. He gave me a prescription for antibiotics and sent me home.

I'm glad I got the antibiotics now.  I'm going up north to see my dad's family on Thursday, and my aunt is dealing with infections with her reconstruction surgeries from breast cancer. I wouldn't want to risk getting her sick, and I don't want to miss out on seeing everyone, as I only see them 1 or 2 times a year (they all live at least 9 hours away).

My recent flare within a flare has gotten much better; I have been back on my gym regimen and I think it's been helping a lot. Physical therapist and I took a break because of our respective vacations and she wanted to see how I do with what she's taught me. I'm going back to her in mid July.

Physical therapist says I'm doing really well. She said my pelvic muscles felt a lot looser today (I agree; I also had very little pain during the tissue massage today). I feel like it's easier for me to relax my muscles and keep them relaxed. I find that I am not clenching as often either. 

Clearly working out 3-4 days a week has not been making my pelvic floor dysfunction worse. I think it's actually making things better; I am less stressed. I also feel better about my physical appearance; hubs said he can already see results. :)

I think I am going to start going to a new gym. Planet Fitness was a good start after being a couch potato for the past couple years, but I think I am ready for something more serious (and less crowded). 

http://www.yelp.com/biz/tyme-auto-sales-plymouth?hrid=oGoNugMWvqNx7Mfqy7nwmQ#src:self

Hubs's business group has a guy who works for a reputable dealership (as compared to the rather shady one I originally went to); we filled out some forms on Friday, and the guy said he should have an answer for us on Monday. I'll either be buying one of two older Escapes, or leasing a new Focus.

I've been going to the gym at least three times a week since the middle of April. I know my physical therapist said I should be very careful about working out, but I have been very unhappy with my appearance, and I think that has contributed to my not feeling well. I also realized that during my "remission" times, I was very physically active and in much better shape (specifically, when I was still in winter drumline and wearing a 20 lb drum on a 5 lb harness for 25 hours each weekend).

After each workout, I make sure to do all the stretches the physical therapist has told me to do, as well as some other ones. Thus far, I haven't noticed an increase in discomfort; if anything, I feel better. I have also already seen results; my legs are much more toned, and I feel like my muffin tops have gotten a little smaller lol.

Multiple people have messaged me asking about my physical therapy, so here's an update:

I go to physical therapy for an hour every Tuesday morning. We start by talking about how I'm doing and whether I feel there is progress being made. 

Then I undress below the waist; if she is going to give me a heating pad for my back, I completely undress so that my shirt doesn't get wet. I hop up on the table (similar to the table you normally sit on at a doctor's office). The therapist then massages my stomach/abdomen, which usually hurts pretty badly, because my muscles there are usually very tight. It feels great afterward though. She then massages my upper legs, which also hurts, but feels great afterward.

She then does an internal finger massage in my vagina. It was super awkward at first, but it's gotten a little less awkward. She basically slowly stretches out and loosens my pelvic muscles. It hurt at first, but now it's mostly just pressure.

At that time, we are usually about done, and I get dressed, and head into work. I would prefer for the therapy to be after work, because it usually makes me very relaxed and tired. There aren't a lot of pelvic floor physical therapists in the area, so I can't really be choosy with the appointment time; I was lucky enough to be able to lock down my 8 AM weekly time, which allows me to only be about 15 minutes late to work.

This past Tuesday was different; we talked about progress like normal, but then instead of the usual massages, I undressed below the waist, and she then put sensors on my leg and in between my butt cheeks (that was super awkward, btw). The sensors were connected to a machine and a computer that displayed how tense my muscles were. The therapist would have me clench and release to show me how the machine measured (I don't remember what units of measurement it used). She would then have me sit, stand, and law down, to show the varying levels of tightness. It was cool to see exactly what my body was doing, especially when I wasn't intentionally doing anything with my muscles. It also helped me to truly realize what tension and relaxation feel like (it's more difficult than you would think).

She then tried to do internal massages for the rest of the session, but my muscles were too tight so she called it a day.

I also went to my urogynecologist this past Monday for a checkup to see how I am going with the increased dose of amitriptyline. She wants me to stay on 50 mg and see how I do with that for the next 6 months. I told her how I was having an issue with the pharmacy; basically, I would run out of meds before it would let me get my next refill. 

My physical therapist also recommended I go see an acupuncturist. She gave me the card for a lady who has a degree in traditional Chinese medicine. I'm going to call her either tomorrow or next week. I think my insurance may cover it, but I will have to check.

The past couple days I have had issues with frequency, which usually isn't an issue for me. Hopefully this is just a flare-up, and not a new permanent symptom.