#peanitbear

peanitbear said: So I don't think I ever sent you a link for my johnlock fic, first one! where they are literally an otter and hedgehog. Here it is if you wouldn't mind posting about it as you are the Goddess of Johnlock fics. Thank you and have a beautiful day. https://archiveofourown.org/works/43582425

Animal Magnetism by Peanitbear (G, 4,601 w., 1 Ch. || Animal AU || Hedgehog John, Otter Sherlock, Anthropomorphism, Crack Fic) – Otter Sherlock and Hedgehog John find each other. Will Hawk Jim keep them apart?

-----

Hi Lovely!!

AHHH Sorry for the delay in posting this, but I hope you don’t mind being the first boosted fic of 2023 instead! <3

Thank you for this prompt, it is right up my alley! <3 I hope you like the fic!

read on ao3

CW: There is a naked butt that get's rubbed with chamomile oil but in a none-sexual situation, mention of minor injuries

---

“You cannot expect me to wear this ridiculous outfit,” Geralt said, nodding at the colourful ensemble of clothes Jaskier had laid out for him. It was a whole outfit - doublet, shirt, trousers and boots. He wouldn’t be surprised if he would find silken smallclothes in the pile.

“Hush now,” Jaskier swatted at Geralt’s accusatory pointing finger.

“If you want to join me at the banquet...”

“I don’t want to join you…” Geralt grumbled, but there was no real heat to it. Jaskier had asked him to play bodyguard. The banquet he had been hired to perform at would be frequented by a handful of people holding unjustified grudges against the bard, as Jaskier had put it. 

“You will look splendid in these, my dear,” the bard said, ignoring Geralt’s protest. He lifted the sky blue doublet and held it to Geralt’s chest. “I think this color suits you.”

---

“If I would have worn my armor, like I wanted to, I wouldn’t have thorns sticking in my ass,” Geralt grumbled. 

Jaskier huffed, “how was I supposed to know that you planned to place your ass in one of the Duchesses famous and - might I add - exceptionally expensive rose bushes.”

Geralt’s growl would have been more intimidating, if he wasn’t lying face down on the bed and Jaskier sitting next to him, painstakingly removing rose thorns from the silken fabric of the trousers and his subjacent butt.

“I was pushed in the rose bush…” Geralt interrupted his protest with a wince as Jaskier removed a particularly big thorn, “by the very man who wanted to beat your nose in, because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants around his wife.”

Jaskier snorted and yanked the next thorn out with more force.

“His poor wife wanted and needed a good shag,” he said, “he was clearly not satisfying her.”

Geralt was glad that his face was hidden because he blushed as he suddenly felt not the twinge of the tweezers but Jaskier’s hand on his butt.

“What are you…” he began, his voice a bit too high.

“I think you should remove the trousers now,” said the bard.

I need this, is there a fic or what and where can I find it

OH YES,I found several (and am def gonna write one too)

I haven’t read all of these, but most, and I included my faves at the bottom. There’s probably more I just haven't found yet

John is Sherlock’s secret husband

Homecoming - dreadpiratewatson

“Greg Lestrade always knows when there's something wrong with Sherlock Holmes. When the detective stops talking, stops eating, doesn't come to crime scenes, and barely moves from the red chair in 221B, Greg starts to worry that he's using again, and this time, he's in too deep to be helped. That is, until a certain soldier shows up at a crime scene.”

Can't Be His Boyfriend - sorrowsofyore

“In which Sherlock has himself a doctor and Lestrade is just befuddled by it all.”

Waiting for John - LadyNyxRavus

“Sherlock has worked with NSY for a year and not once has he given any indication that he can even have a friend - let alone a significant other. So when he mentions someone named John, what kind of freakish alien creature must this person be to have an actual RELATIONSHIP with the man?”

The Dangerous Edge of Things aka Sherlock Holmes has a Boyfriend who lives in Canada - dreamingrain

“Inspired by a prompt from the kinkmeme - Sherlock Holmes has a boyfriend who lives in Canada.”

Simple Understanding - iMusicalMinji

“At first, Sally couldn't believe the freak was married, but it was just another situation in which she missed all the key evidence.”

The Internet Is Not Just For Porn - cyerus

“John is Sherlock's internet boyfriend - from CANADA.”

A Surprise in 221B - lancesface

“Lestrade entered the flat prepared to find a consulting detective sulking on the couch due to the lack of cases but instead found a short blond man, wearing an oatmeal jumper, who was limping down the hallway towards the door.”

Sherlock’s Who? - freakypet

“John has been away for Sherlock's entire career and suddenly returns to London unexpectedly from Afghanistan. Injured and tired and in pain, all he wants is to surprise Sherlock and kiss his husband. His search to find and surprise his wayward partner takes him across London and meets him up with those in Sherlock's world he has only heard about until now.”

Out - Awkward_bean_sky

“After over six years, Sherlock's friends finally ask him about his love life.”

Sherlock’s Secret - Superwholocked_25

“Sherlock had a secret, one that he told no one. But people were becoming suspicious.”

Captain John H Watson, MBBS - anthonyedwardstark

“Sherlock has not been seen or heard from for more than a week. Lestrade decides to begin his search for the man at 221B Baker Street. When Scotland Yard's finest arrive at the flat, what (or rather who) they find is certain to surprise them.”

A Long Time Coming - thestanceyg

“Sherlock's been acting strangely, and Lestrade isn't sure why. One day he finds a shirtless soldier in Sherlock's flat and things start to make a lot more sense.”

5687 (Approximately) - prettysailorsoldier

“When John's leave request for Christmas is denied, Sherlock is nothing short of devastated, not that he's letting it show. The holiday season now something he's just waiting to end, Sherlock doesn't think anything can possibly make it worse. That is, until he realizes no one in his life believes his army "boyfriend" is even real, but, luckily, everyone is in for a surprise.”

“I’ll Greet You With a Smile” - sevvyboy1fangirl

“When John comes home from the war, Sherlock is there to greet his husband at the airport. How will others react to the news of Sherlock having a husband? And how will John react to meeting those that are in his husbands life? And how will Sherlock and John's life continue now that John is home?”

(this one is incomplete)

and my favourites:

The Bee Charmer - dreadpiratewatson

“Greg goes to 221B to check up on Sherlock after a strange phone call pulls him away from an important case, and is stunned to find himself in front of a gun brandishing soldier with a sleeping Sherlock on his chest. John Watson is a doctor, a war hero, a husband, and the only one in the world who can soften Sherlock's heart.”

Illusory Correlation and Confirmation Bias - VanillaBroomstick

“Looking back, there were a few things that should’ve tipped Greg off long before that night at the pub. A few things Sherlock left fairly obvious, that on reflection, made Greg question how he’d gotten his job in the first place.”

“Surprise! I’m gay!” - Awkward_bean_sky

“Sherlock suddenly doesn't answer any of Greg's calls anymore and he's worried to say the least. In the end, things aren't nearly as bad as he'd suspected.”

Missing in Action - Alphinss

Why do you think Alexander is standing with his hands behind his back like a soldier standing at ease?