#peace.

That wasn't laughter of enjoyment it was laughter of desperation and despair.

This relates to "dear Bellatrix, who likes to play with her food," but can stand on its own as a general PSA - a character does not need to be sanitised (turned into a victim of circumstances or other characters, have their agency removed, have all their questionable actions explained away by misunderstandings) in order to be compelling and beloved. There are characters who are objectively terrible people (Bellatrix and Voldemort topping the list here), that are nonetheless wonderful characters. Not in spite of their dastardly deeds, as they say, but because of them.

Personal preference: characters who are passive woe-is-me victims of the narrative are not my cup of tea. Other people may love them and more power to them - there's plenty of such characters to go around.

But then there are the quintessential villains - those characters who are, indeed, bad (not bad as a character, but bad people). The "Nothing happened to me, Agent Starling. I happened" ones. I *love* exploring those. Not in the sense of finding excuses, much less justifications, for their behaviour, but in the sense of finding the things that drive them, their quirks, the things that constitute moral dilemmas within their original worldview.

In the case of Bellatrix, she is presented as someone who grew up in one of the wealthiest and most elitist wizarding families. They style themselves as noble and most ancient - the arrogance that comes with that! There is no implication that she was treated at all badly by her family. She's pure privilege. Haughty. Entitled. That certainly takes away the excuse of trauma/victimhood from her character. But it opens up something far more compelling to me - she needs to square her very strong belief in pure blood supremacy with the very real fact that she respects, admires and loves a half-blood.

She has such a cruel sadistic streak - the Cruciatus Curse is her specialty and, as she pointed out in her impromptu lesson to Harry, you have to really mean it for it to work. Contrast that with her ability to love the unlovable - wholly, unequivocally, unconditionally.

You'd think that someone raised in privilege would fold at the first sign of hardship. But that's not Bellatrix. She is strong in her own right. She excels at learning the Dark Arts from Voldemort - I can't see that happening unless you are incredibly smart, driven and hardworking. And she is someone who is both persistent and resilient. Even fourteen years with the prospect of a lifetime spent in Azkaban (objectively the worst place in the wizarding world) can't break her. That's what I find compelling.

Boy, does she stand up for herself and those she loves - she's the definition of "Dangerous, do NOT approach." And she makes no excuses for it. When she comes out of Azkaban she is even worse (better), even more devoted, even more convinced that her way is the way. That's tragedy enough, and to me, implying that there's some kind of abuse/trauma/grooming involved takes away from it. She did have a privileged childhood. She did know better (she was socialised at Hogwarts, she's interacted with kids from all walks of life growing up). She just chose to do every single thing she did. And she had no regrets. She has no regrets. That's the character we're working with.

TW!: mentions of Abuse,very brief suicide, needles, cancer, cuts, and just medical things in general. I plan to delete this later.

putting this separately because i have a huge announcement…… i’m leaving this blog bye. adios.