#paul diskant

Paul looks over your tired and exhausted body.  Everything had gone perfectly.  The doctors were astounded at how well things went.  Said that it was the easiest heart transplant they’d ever perform.  The nightmare of living with a battery pack on your hip, and plugged into a machine at night is over.  

You stir in your sleep, moving your gown, and exposing the surgery dressing.  A part of him wants to cover you back up, and the other part is stuck in a trance.  You’d have a large scar, but it’s one you already bore.  But this time it’s different.

It’s extending your life by decades.  It’s giving you a life of more freedom, and longer days with him.  Maybe even a family.  He can grow old with you.  He’d never admit it to you, but the past few years have been terrifying to him.  It’s why he hung on so tightly, and why he didn’t want to spend any time away from you. 

He can’t imagine a life without you, and now he won’t have to.  He lifts his eyes up and says a silent thank you to the soul that gave you another chance.  A chance to be normal again.  With a transplant comes never ending medication, and doctors visits.  But you’re no longer trapped in your own body. 

“You look like shit,” Paul turns his head to the doorway, and barely smiles at Lee before he looks back at your sleeping form.  “How she doing?” Paul just shrugs.  He can’t even put into words the life changing moment he’s going through, and he can’t even begin to fathom what it is going through your head.  

Lee glares at Paul’s back.  The stupid man should be able to say something.  Should be thanking the person that gave you the heart.  Paul can’t understand the sacrifice that Lee made just for you.  And eventually your sacrifice to be with Lee.  Paul will never get to experience that.  Maybe enough to realize that he fully lost you and that you will move on.  Once you know what’s good for you. 

You should see that Lee would do anything to keep you alive.  All he wants is for you to need him, and acknowledge how much you need him.  Let him take care of you in a way that only he can.  Paul can’t take care of you.  He’s just a damn deputy, and won’t do anything to make extra money. 

No, Paul is nothing but a sissy ‘good cop’.  Lee rolls his eyes as he stares too long at your exposed surgery location.  It’s covered up, but eventually there will be a long scar.  People will know what a good man he is because he stayed by your side in recovery.  

“I don’t even know who died to make this possible,” your husband looks at your sleeping body.  He adjusts your gown over yourself more, causing Lee to snarl.  He wants to continue to stare at what he made possible.  The sacrifice he gave for you to live happily with him.  Judith’s heart will heal you, and you won’t even care about Paul, you’ll love Lee. 

He’ll get you pregnant right away.  No need to wait.  

“I’m just thankful that I have her,” oh god, this stupid man is going to monologue.  “We were high school sweethearts.  I’ve never loved anyone like I do her.  She saved me. She’s the reason I went into the police force.  The reason that I wake up every morning.  And I can’t imagine my insignificant life without her.” 

Annoying.  That’s exactly what Paul is.  The bane of Lee’s existence.  He’ll rid the world of this sap soon enough.  

“I’m sorry,” he sniffles, wiping away his tears.  Finally Paul gives Lee the attention he deserves, and he turns to look at his superior.  “I haven’t even asked you how Judith is doing.” 

“She — she didn’t make it,” Paul’s eyes blow wide open, and his body shifts in the chair.  

“I’m sorry to h-hear that, Lee.  I didn’t know.” 

“It’s fine really.  Judith finally did something right in her life,” Paul’s brows furrow, and he glances back at your sleeping body.  “You have a good evening, Diskant.” 

“Was — was Judith an organ donor?” 

“Take care of her heart,” Lee smiles as he steps back, and walks down the hall.  He leaves Paul with too many thoughts in his brain, and instead of just rejoicing that you live, he’s got scenarios in his head of Lee’s wife being the reason you get to live.  To give the two of you a life again.  

But also he wonders if Lee is going to hold resentment over him.  If he’s going to expect to come around more.  You already were at the point that you didn’t want Lee around you.  Is he going to expect that to continue?  Lee had been developing a weird obsession with you.  Hadn’t stopped asking questions about your health status, and how you’re feeling, what all needs to be done for the LVAD.  It’s unsettling the obsession he feels. 

And now you could have Lee’s wife’s heart.  A heart transplant was always a wish for the future, but both of you feared a perfect match wouldn’t come.  There’s so many variables when you can’t have a live donor.  

Paul worries that the ultimate blessing could become his worst nightmare.  

“You don’t have to stop the car like that,” you giggle over towards Paul.  You knew Paul had changed his way of driving to accommodate the heart pump in your body.  You’d complain that if he slammed on the brakes, and you could feel the pump try to exit your body.  It was dramatic of course, and it was a weird feeling, but Paul took it seriously. 

“You’re still precious cargo,” months have passed, and your new heart is functioning perfectly.  The only thing that isn’t working perfectly is your husband's libido.  He went from needing to fuck constantly to making sure everything has been healing properly.  

“Your dick is precious cargo,” you tease.  Releasing the hold of his hand, you slowly start to palm his crotch.  “And I believe that it’s time.” 

“As an officer of the law I need to tell you that your hand trying to get me hard while I’m driving is very frowned upon.” 

“Then pull over.” 

“I need to get back to work,” you sigh, and sit straight in your seat.  Keeping your eyes out in front of you, but your hand still teases Paul.  “What?” 

“You should fuck me.” 

“You’ve been healing.” 

“And now I’m healed.  You heard the doctor.  Everything is perfect.  Everything.  We can start trying for a baby,” you glance over towards Paul, and you can see the struggle he’s having with the serious conversation coupled with your roaming hand.  “I want you to fuck a baby in me.” 

“You can’t say things like that.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because.” 

“Because why?  This has been our goal.  We have made it.  Now we can try,” Paul says nothing.  He keeps his hands perfectly on the wheel, and his eyes on the road, “You don’t even hold my hand when you drive anymore,” as if only to appease you, he drops his right hand, and pulls yours away from his midway to hard cock.  “Thanks,” you deadpan.

“You want to talk about it?” 

“About how my husband doesn’t want to fuck me?” He lets out the longest sigh you’ve ever heard.  He’d been doing this a lot recently.  He just didn’t get how good you feel.  “Well, you don’t.” 

“You were just cleared less than an hour ago.” 

“And the old Paul would have fucked me before we even left the parking lot.  You’ve avoided every advance.  The old Paul would…” 

“The old Paul didn’t see you laying on a hospital bed with your chest sewed back up.  The old Paul didn’t have to have the thought of losing you,” that’s humbling.  In all of this, you didn’t think to consider all that he has been going through.  “Do you know what it’s like to wonder if you’re going to lose me?” 

“Yeah,” your voice is so soft as you turn to look at him.  “I’m married to a cop.  The thought is always in my head when you’re not with me,” Paul slows the car to a roll as he pulls into the driveway.  There have been so many changes in such a short time since moving here.  “I’m sorry that I haven’t taken your feelings into consideration.  I’ve never had to see you laid out on a hospital bed, and you’ve seen me too many times like that.  But all jokes aside, I need you to still want me.” 

“I’m always going to want you.  I’ve never loved anyone like I have loved you,” Paul leans forward, letting his lips softly caress your temple.  Creating a trail all the way to your ear, “You are my best friend, and the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

“I don’t want to wait with you anymore.  We’ve waited and waited, and I just want to enjoy my husband unabashedly.  I want to move into different positions and not worry about a damn cord getting in our way.  I want to be our fun normal selves again.” 

“And I want to make a baby with you, too,” some could call it selfish, or ill fated, maybe even a stupid idea.  But when you’ve spent the years that you have with Paul, you’re tired of waiting.  Tired of trying to follow the rules.  You’ve had a lifetime with Paul.  You know this man better than you know yourself.  Waiting now just seems like the worst thing that you can do.  

Paul abruptly gets out of the car, and is sprinting to your side of the door.  He opens it, and lifts you up into his arms, letting you koala around him.  No wires, no cords, no batteries keeping the pump that keeps you alive working.  You have someone to thank for their heart.  And as if by divine design, your love and desire for Paul is larger than ever.  There’s a raw energy to just have him that you have never felt before.  

You don’t even make it into the house before you’re grinding on him.  Kissing every inch of his exposed skin and what you can’t reach with your lips, your fingers are ripping and pulling apart.  You want his skin on yours.  Truly having nothing to separate the two of you.  You reach for the buttons on your own dress, and pull it apart.  Greedily pressing yourself against him.  

“Right here,” you moan.  When was the last time that you guys needed each other so much that you just start fucking in the middle of the floor?  Paul’s skills are on full display as he starts to let you down to the floor.  His own body pushing apart your thighs as you desperately try to remove your panties.  Ready to take your husband in a way that you haven’t in years. 

Paul surprises you as he reaches under your dress, ripping the flimsy material off you.  “I don’t like this dress,” you whimper, and he understands.  Clawing at the material that’s left on your body.  Tearing every piece of fabric that separates you from him.  Not even trying to be sexy when he pulls off his shirt.  Crawling to you only pushes his pants down, but it’s enough to free himself.  

Your back arches, and you spread yourself wider as he enters into your body, and you breathe a sigh of relief.  You had him.  All of him, and all of you, just the way it was supposed to be.  No pump inside your body is jostling around as he pistons himself into you.  No wires are getting tangled up, just your limbs as you entwine your body with his.  

His weight bears down on you, and the sounds out of your mouth are pure bliss.  It’s like before the heart problems.  It’s primal.  It’s a need to just have every ounce of his flesh on yours.  Solidifying that you were truly meant for him.  Nothing else has ever mattered to you but him.  And your deep desire for an eventual family with him has always been your goal.  

Your fingers cling to him, scratching down his back as you let the feeling of having him take over your body.  There’s no thoughts, just the pleasure he’s able to bring you.  Becoming completely pliable to him.  You trust Paul fully, but he could do whatever he wants at this moment, and you wouldn’t care.  You wouldn’t dream of denying him what he’s needed as well.  

“I love you so much,” he pants into your ear.  His entire body has encapsulated you, and you take so much comfort in him being able to relax and truly let go.  “You want us to have a baby?” 

“Yes!” Being tired of waiting doesn’t even compare to the things you feel.  You’re frustrated, and over not having him growing inside of you.  Irritated that you’re in this middle of nowhere place, but you want a family with him. 

“You want me to fuck a baby in you?” Paul didn’t realize the relief he would get from having you in this vulnerable state.  How you are on another plane of existence.  He could come up with some weird shit, and you would probably say yes.  You look beautiful trusting him in this way.  

“Paul, fuck a baby in me!  Please!” 

His thrusts go harder.  Deeper.  Stabbing into you with the need that he’s had for the years you’ve had a heart pump.  Every jolt and push into you is so urgent and needy that you black out.  He’ll take care of you.  He always does.  He always makes sure to give you exactly what you need.  Paul is a man that would sacrifice his morals to protect you.  You know there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make sure that you are okay.  

You fully trust him.  You fully feel him.  You fully want him.  

One more deep, hard thrust has his warmth spurting and spreading inside of you, and your eyes go glossy as your cunt milks every last drop from him.  Breathlessly you stare up at the most beautiful human you’ve ever met.  You’d repay him the kindness of your dying breath as well.  But now you don’t have to.  Now you’re whole again.  

You choke back a tear, and Paul is already brushing his lips against your heated skin.  “I have begged and pleaded for these moments again.  I won’t lose you like that again.” 

“You never lost me, Blossom,” no, but it wasn’t like this.  It wasn’t without care or fear of harming you.  It was calculated, and only just enough.  

“You have to get back to work.” 

“I can call in.  Say you’ve had a hard time after the checkup.” 

“I think it was you that had a hard time,” you giggle, trying to make a joke.  If you could have him just lay on you with his cock inside you, that would be heaven.  “Go on.  I’ll see you when you get home.” 

He grimaces as he pulls himself out of you, and stares down at your messy and spent body.  “Keep that in there.  It just may take,” he chuckles.  He stands up to dress, but keeps looking at your immobile body.  Your scar is on full display, but it's where his body was just seated that has his attention.

“Stop staring at my pussy, and get to work.” 

“You’re going to be okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m going to walk around naked with your cum dripping down my leg.  Then I’m going to take a really long bath again,” baths weren’t a privilege you got to have when you had the LVAD.  

“You’re making it harder to leave.” 

“Don’t get harder.  But do come home, and fuck me awake, okay?” He gulps, but nods his head.  “Be careful.” 

“MOTHER FUCKER!” Lee slings his phone into the floor of his cruiser.  He couldn’t stare at you just laying on the floor with your legs spread wide, and dripping of Diskant.  He couldn’t stand the thought that he waited until you healed, and now that douche of a man is trying to impregnate you!  That is his job!  That is his will!  

“Fuck her awake.  I’ll show her fucking her awake!  Stupid ass ungrateful bitch,” he reaches into his dash for his secret phone, calling the least desirable man other than Diskant.  “I need that idiot dead!” 

“How do you suppose I do that, sweet cheeks?” 

“I don’t care if you shoot him through the fucking head!” 

“It is because he was just fucking that delectable pussy?  Had her begging him to fuck a baby in her,” the asshole!  Lee is aware that Lloyd has hacking abilities, but hacking into his computers and cameras is not okay.  “You think you could pound into her like her skinny husband?  I don’t think that heart has fallen for you.” 

“The asshole didn’t tell her it was Judith’s heart.  I basically told him, and he hasn’t said dick to her.” 

“Oh, he said dick.  Made that bitch cry out from pleasure.” 

“We’re moving up the plan!” Lee demands.

“No, we’re not.  I own you, sugar tits.  You may want that sweet piece of damaged ass, but I’m going to tell you how this is going to work.  You’re playing my game.  I killed your wife, now I need you to do something for me.” 

“Oh, yeah?  And what’s that?” 

“Let me fuck your Frankenstein.” 

“No, you don’t even want her.” 

“You don’t either.  You just want to own her.  Get back with me when you’ve made up your mind, pumpkin.  I don’t play fair or by the rules.  Have fun with your pathetic existence.  Oh, and Lee, you try to break into their house and fuck her, I’ll be watching.”

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