#pataporn

i actually made a chart about a year ago that can help answer this question! (link — 18+ warning for exposed genitalia + my very obvious hyper fetish)

i'd assume that barapon is the around the height of an average human male, so using the chart as a reference... yeah, pons (and by extension zigotons/karmens/akumatans/bonedeth) are all pretty tiny, even as dekas.

but this is just my personal headcanon, as always! i love the idea of pons being easily holdable (and usable as a living fleshlight)... but, yknow, it's probably not the most convenient nor realistic size for them to be.

also.. i just realized that i'd completely forgotten to consult pata3 for the actual uberhero-to-patapon height difference. nor did i include megapons on that chart...dang, i should update it. oops

-Rin

AWW IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT!!! i'm having so much fun with it all too eeeeee 🥹

although, that does remind me that i need to make some character tags so it's easier to find specific asks... but obviously i can't have them be the normal tags unless i want to scar some poor innocent people for life lol

wondering how i should format it though. hm. ideas/examples:

#pataporn hatapon

#hatapon nsfw

#mel0 hatapon (because idk... they're from my asks n all...)

I'm very conflicted. If they were at least like Uberhero...

ahh, you're not using your imagination to the highest potential, anon! /silly

maybe i should draw some uberhero x patapon art to help illustrate some positions. or maybe barapon x patapon? since (imo) they would be much bigger and more human-sized.

"as a certified patapon"—

ah frick, i can't say it directly...damn censors...

[backspaces]

"as a certified pats a pond identifier, i would indeed say that this is a pats a pond. no phantom could ever be this sexy"— GOD DAMMIT, YOU CAN'T SAY SHIT IN THIS KIDS' GAME!!!

[aggressive backspaces]

"phantoms are very sexy"

okay now why was that allowed. i mean it's true, but...my very clear bias toward pons...

"it's simple, really. to figure this out, all we have to do is lock them in a room together and watch them fight for dominance using nothing but their"—

oh fuck. you're right.

after word of hatapon's actions start making rounds (not just the lies he'd made to cover it up), she becomes hyper-aware of the existence of her own staff. that is, she felt as though everyone were suddenly giving her glances here and there in judgement, assumptions that she would be doing the same. these glances were, of course, imagined, but her anxiety built up quickly.

with that anxiety brought along intrusive thoughts. what if she did the same thing? what if she just tried it? meden was absolutely mortified that her brain could even come up with such a thing. she gripped on tightly to her staff, hand sweaty and slipping. she hoped no one could tell that she was shaking and breathing heavy.

what made it worse was the thoughts starting to tell her more and more details. how it'd feel. how she'd scream. how the ornaments would stretch her further than her fingers. how it'd be able to ram deep into her, slamming against her walls harder and faster than she'd ever been able to manage on her own.

meden felt guilty enough just touching herself. her own sins haunted her constantly. what would kami think? what if he already knows? what if he could hear her thoughts right now, daydreaming about such a horrible thing? her face grew redder and redder by the second. some of the townsfolk were giving her glances now—worried ones with whispers that only made her fears (and excitement) spiral ever higher.

someone eventually walked up to her and asked if she was okay. she snapped out of her panicked trance with a yelp, and stuttered out that she was just feeling unwell. a few others stopped by as well to check on her, saying she needed to get some rest. no, she thought, because that means i'll give in to my sinful thoughts. she couldn't say this out loud, of course, and she didn't have the voice or strength to come up with some other excuse.

so instead, she trudged slowly toward her elaborate and well-decorated cabin, fit for a woman of her status. the same cabin that creaks and complains as her body shakes wildly and paints the floorboards with her love, her muffled pleasure desperately trying to release itself from behind her clasped hand. as her body relaxed, the staff slipped out of her with a clank, freshly soaked beyond recognition.

Hhhh pretty body ,, very nicely built to be able to take heavy damage and hold up her shield (hip dips oooooooh)

Kinda like Haru from Beastars but if she was a little more mean and looked like Juno

I like to think that after just throwing herself at men she liked, she would eventually find one guy that treated her nicely ,, Grenburr if you want them to have a nice peaceful life with a child and retire early or Pingrek if you want semi-toxic yuri that turns sweet

Shes pretty high level to me along with Charibasa, Grenburr, Myamsar, Cannogabang, and Jamsch

Her wool is known for being one of the softest things ever

ohohoho… good question…

tw for zoophilia, pedophilia (kinda), cannibalism, necrophilia, grooming, dubcon, incest, underage sex… yeahhh B) all that fun stuff