#mel0 uberhero

i actually made a chart about a year ago that can help answer this question! (link — 18+ warning for exposed genitalia + my very obvious hyper fetish)

i'd assume that barapon is the around the height of an average human male, so using the chart as a reference... yeah, pons (and by extension zigotons/karmens/akumatans/bonedeth) are all pretty tiny, even as dekas.

but this is just my personal headcanon, as always! i love the idea of pons being easily holdable (and usable as a living fleshlight)... but, yknow, it's probably not the most convenient nor realistic size for them to be.

also.. i just realized that i'd completely forgotten to consult pata3 for the actual uberhero-to-patapon height difference. nor did i include megapons on that chart...dang, i should update it. oops

Hhhh pretty body ,, very nicely built to be able to take heavy damage and hold up her shield (hip dips oooooooh)

Kinda like Haru from Beastars but if she was a little more mean and looked like Juno

I like to think that after just throwing herself at men she liked, she would eventually find one guy that treated her nicely ,, Grenburr if you want them to have a nice peaceful life with a child and retire early or Pingrek if you want semi-toxic yuri that turns sweet

Shes pretty high level to me along with Charibasa, Grenburr, Myamsar, Cannogabang, and Jamsch

Her wool is known for being one of the softest things ever

What if after Patapon 3 the tribes reunites and somehow Kami gets to fuse with another Patapon... and asks Meden.

ooh dude... she would genuinely be so ecstatic that Kami would even offer such a thing. such a high honor, to be one with Almighty!

idk if you mean they’ll fuse together with Hero or if he gets kicked out lol... but I doubt Meden would be calm enough to think her decision through properly and she'd agree instantly. and then she'd immediately have doubts once she fuses and realizes that Hero's there too lmao

all of a sudden, she has to deal with this brat demanding control over the body all the time and sharing her depraved thoughts with him... Hero's just as surprised as he was when he found out about Hatapon's endeavors—now come to find out, she's doing it too? You gotta be kidding! Everyone around here's a freak! Is he the only normalpon in the damn tribe?! (boy stop lying to yourself, you'd be just as bad if you weren't so repressed)

GENUINELY UGHHHHHHHH even if it's just jerking off yk, it still works in spirit lol

wait wdym I have to sacrifice Hero and sever my bond with the Patapon world ?!

NO DUDE FOR REAL i would not be able to keep my dick out of a pon for a MINUTE. i might actually DIE. this is both due to the fact that i've never had a penis before and am incredibly euphoric AND the fact that i want to fuck a pon soooo bad oh my godddd...... i would give so much ka-ching...

HEHEHE i love you, hatapon… you are my perverted little baby <3

*Hero grabs boob carelessly, Uberhero yelps in pain*

FemMighty: What is WRONG with you???

Hero: I'm confused! Was it supposed to be painful?

FemMighty: When you do that OF COURSE!

Hero: But I thought women get pleasure from their boobs...

FemMighty: *heavy sigh* okay, sex ed session it is 🙄

MAAAAAAAAN~

ughhh dude I have CRAZY penis envy, you have no idea… I genuinely think that being a futa (or even swapping genitals completely without changing anything else about my body) would fix me lmao. depression and anxiety gone because now I can jerk off and shove my cock into everything!!! 🎉