12/16/17 #servicemasteremt Holiday Party. #2017holidays #smile #passedmybedtime

This is supposed to be work right? #annex24gallery #philly #phillyartist #findingartists_ #passedmybedtime (at Finn McCools Ale House)

it's 2:37 am (literally, currently 2:37) and anything and everything in the last decade and a half of my existence on this planet earth that has ever brought me anxiety is floating in my head. how I may or may not handle situations in the next 72 hours are causing one hell of a stressed out Brittany. oh, did I mention I'm starving? and thirsty. and have to pee. but if I get up then I probably won't go back to sleep. as if that's an option. also, my dog is snoring. a lot. I just imagined what i would say to Kobe Bryant if I ever met him. then I got really sad cause I just realized I'll never meet Kobe Bryant. blast, this cruel world. in the past hour I have relieved every moment from about Thursday of last week until today. I've been thinking a lot about the super violent dreams I've had the past two days and what they could mean in the metaphorical world of dream interpretation. i also feel it's entirely necessary to note I'm typing this blog post underneath my covers so i don't wake my dog up. the same dog who doesn't give a fuck that his middle-aged-man-with-sleep-apnea snoring is keeping me awake. or is it the twenty minutes worth of black hole videos I just watched what is keeping me awake? to make matters worse, I started to seriously worry about ISIS and the fact that Donald Trump has a legitimate following as a presidential candidate. I honestly can't tell you what's scarier; the situation i named above, or my unwillingness to care how much my dry sarcasm may or may not offend people. I've also, as I'm getting closer to actually having a full time job, am thinking of all the other opportunities I'd be great at. new year new me, or some shit..amirite? as I lay here on my left side I think equally about the friends I've lost (due to falling out or whom I've actually lost). I think about what a shitstorm it is to lose a friend in any situation. people in relationships are supposed to break eachothers hearts and fuck eachother over. your friends are totally not supposed to do that. it's worse, I think, when a good friend fucks you over over a lame guy/girl. but that's just my thought at 2:51. I'm sitting here (yes now I'm sitting cross legged outside of the confines of my quilt and woke my poor dog up) wondering how this generation of people got to be so fucked up. how we became this narcissistic, self involved, selfie mob of inconsiderate, lazy, entitled morons. myself included in all the above. how getting 150 likes on an Instagram matters more than being a halfway decent human being, how being 11% body fat matters more than service to your community. how saying merry Christmas suddenly offends people....? how the fuck did we get here. also, how did I get here on this blog (tR!ppÿ). if you want this inside scoop on the inside of my brain, visit me at the 3 o'clock hour. ask me what you want. I wear my heart on my sleeve on the day to day, but there is something extremely vulnerable about 2:57 am. when your mind goes and travels through the lands of "what if" and "anxiousness" and "figments of imagination" you can dream yourself up to be everything and nothing within seconds of eachother. you can love and hate your dog at the same time. while visiting the past, you can also create your future, all within the confines of your down comforter. you can think about how much you regret writing a blog when you have to work at a daycare at 8 am. but the mind does what it wants. as does the bladder. did I mention I have to pee? 3:02 am.