#parttimemom

I recently spent a month at home. Everyday was spent teaching the little one. We went to the park all the time, we did library play dates, we learned, we laughed and we cried together. It was a great month that I wish could have lasted forever. Granted, I was not working and the budget was tight and it got a little stressful at times. The stress, I could do without, but the time...I want it back.

I'm working again, and she is back in school, and papa is taking on a new design job. Things are getting back to normal for us. I'm so happy for our family because it seems like that month away from work sent our family into a great direction. All of us can benefit from heading in a better, more clear direction. There is just one thing... I miss her.

I miss our days together. I miss sitting by the lake watching her play in the water. I miss her goofy smile. I miss her walking the dog. I miss tucking her in at nap and even fighting with her about nap. I miss all the snuggles and giggles and cuddles and hugs and kisses and tantrums and all. I miss everything about that month because we all had so much time together. I recently was looking at some old photos from about a year ago and this girl is just a weed. She is growing so quickly and we don't want to miss any of it. Selfishly, we want to keep her all to ourselves so we can watch her grow up before our eyes, right there in front of us. But part of her growing is letting her go, and that means missing her.

It is really hard to send her off to school some days, especially when she is sad about leaving us. And nothing makes you feel worse than a kid trying to hold back the tears because you are leaving them on their own. The only way to get past that heart breaking lip quiver and single tear down the cheek is to know that she is going to enjoy her day. I let the teacher in me take over, because I have seen kids time and time again stop crying literally the second their parents leave. So I know she will survive the sadness... but it still hurts.

Today, she gave me some peace. As we left school she grabbed my hand and said "I had a good day. I like my school." I picked her up and gave her a big kiss and said "Well, then I like your school too." And we smiled and then she asked me to put her down because I give her too many hugs and kisses after school.

This little girl is growing up, and becoming so smart and independent. As much as I miss her, I could not be more proud of the little lady she is becoming.