#partial hospitalization program

yeah of course! so inpatient and PHP/IOP are pretty different things

inpatient hospitalization (not talking about longer term residential, which can be different and is not something i have personal experience with) is the highest level of restriction. it can be at short as a couple of days, and as long as a few weeks. i was in the hospital for 11 days, and honestly, the level of restriction i had may or may not have complied with state laws. i do not recommend inpatient hospitalization as anything besides a last resort, as in if you’re in imminent danger of ending or causing severe harm to your/someone else’s life. i’m always open to talking about what my experience in inpatient was like, but tl;dr: i do not recommend unless absolutely necessary.

php/iop is a completely different story, and it’s something i had a much better experience with. i did this thing called a step-down program from my hospitalization. after i was hospitalized, i did 2 weeks of php (partial hospitalization) and 4 weeks of iop (intensive outpatient). this was actually with the same hospital group i went to for inpatient, but their outpatient programs were much better in my opinion. for my program, the only real difference between partial hospitalization and intensive outpatient was that for php, you’d stay a few extra hours. it provided a sense of routine and support, but also allowed me more freedom outside of the program to, you know, go outside and talk to other people. overall, it was a pretty positive experience for me!

PHP - Day five

(my outfit was really good today)

It was so scary to put in for the days, email my administrators, text my classroom coworker, and tell my mom (we work together).

But yesterday I had 4 meltdowns. Full ones. 4. Because I couldn’t handle it all anymore.

My car has been towed for a third time this month and I’m out of money to fix it (already dropped 2k) but the engine stalled out. I’m very fortunate that my parents will be able to help me but that wasn’t a guarantee until my mom offered this morning.

I finished a really tough semester and worked full time during it.

My chronic pain and chronic illness symptoms have been way worse in the last few months. Just progressively worse.

I have no money, no savings, and no ability left over to go to work. So I’m not going.

In the past I would have just quit. But I have documented disabilities on my side now so I’m not going to quit a career I love because I’m having a tough time.

This morning I woke up feeling like I had actually rested for the first time in over a month. I still didn’t get 8 hours (its been so long since I have, like months and months) but I felt like the sleep I did get actually counted for once.

I felt relieved that I wasn’t pushing myself beyond my capabilities anymore.

And I’m so proud of myself for taking the step. And so grateful to my wife, my parents, my meta, and my beat friends who helped me through yesterday and setting everything up.

hopefully y’all enjoy :)) <3

I intended for it to be this spring semester 2023, but unfortunately I'm going to be participating in a multi-week partial hospitalization program for mental health (it's outpatient but every single day for hours!) and between that and the paper due in May I just don't have the time to fully dedicate to the proposal

my husband and I also just bought a real fixer of a fixer-upper which has been WILD but also REALLY taking my brain away from my work