#parteight

***** Start Flashback Dream *****

Rhage: *Walking around the game room, I was waiting for Mary to walk through that door with all this information flooding my head that I have a son. Would Mary understand that I helped this female through her needing?

After the needing I was so drained, I needed food and blood since we didn’t feed from each other. I couldn’t believe I lived through it, Afterwards, I found a Chosen to help me with healing and I got called for a rotation unexpectedly. After that fight, I needed to heal and I went back for her but she was nowhere to be found. 

Hearing the door, I go to the entryway and see her walkthrough, my life has just walked in. Seeing her stand there, she’ll know I need to tell her something important.* @MaryLuce_BDB

Mary: *Things had been going well since Rhage and I spent the day talking about our anxiety and fears. It had been a few weeks since then and we had spent more time together and I thought we had everything back to normal but when I open the door to our mated chambers, Rhage was pacing back and forth. Not a good sign.*

Hey baby, what’s … wrong? *I asked all the while wondering what has happened now to put the look of concern and unease. I put my things down on top of the dresser and turn my attention back to my hellren.*

Rhage, honey. Please stop pacing and tell me what’s wrong? @Rhage_SASBDB

Rhage: *Walking to my Mary placing my hands on each side of her face kissing her lips tenderly.* My Leelan, I just found out today that I have a son, I wanted to tell you face to face not in some text. We promised to be honest and say how we are feeling. Well, I’ve been scared and I didn’t know about him till today. 

*Looking into her eyes, I see the shock.* Leelan, if I would have known, he would have been here already. I can see the look of concern now on your face. Please tell me what your feeling. 

*I just want her happy, but now I have a grown son and now she has a grown … what do humans call them? Oh, stepson … she has a full-grown stepson on top of all my fucked-upness and my Beast.* @MaryLuce_BDB

Mary: *A son? Son? Oh my God. All I could think of is Rhage servicing someone during their needing. Jealousy began to surface as I pictured some beautiful vampire worthy of him. I felt a pang inside my chest as multiple thoughts began running through my head.

Did he want to be with her now? They had a child together. We’ve only been together a few years. Vampires live for centuries. How long were they together? I had to sit down. I sat down on the bench at the foot of our bed. I could barely think. We just barely resolved our issues just the other day … and now this?* @Rhage_SASBDB

Rhage: Mary? Please talk to me, I can feel your uneasiness. 

*Looking at her face, I know all type of concerns are there.* Mary, all of this doesn’t change anything. You are still my Leelan, my Shellan, we will always be one. I love you. Leethall is apart of us now. 

*I watch her face waiting for anything something to let me know she hears me. I know her biggest fear and I will always love her with all my heart.* @MaryLuce_BDB

Mary: *I could barely hear Rhage over the pounding of my heart thrumming through my ears. I felt a panic start to set as all manners of self-doubt and insecurities start to funnel their way into my subconscious. He had a child, a baby … oh, wait perhaps a toddler since we’ve been together these last few years. How old could he be? Anywhere from 4-5 to however old.

He’d want to be with the mother, surely. Families needed to stay together. I could feel the tears run down my face as I realized I would have to go back to my former life. Would I even be allowed to? Surely, Wrath and Beth knew I would never say anything to anyone. Who would believe me anyway?

I suddenly felt very cold and alone and I drew into myself as I wrapped my arms around my middle. This couldn’t be happening. My damn cancer took away my chance of having my own children. Rhage now had an opportunity to grow a family with someone who could bear his children and feed on to sustain his life and a real partner with the same strengths and history of a vampire. I couldn’t give him any of those things.* @Rhage_SASBDB

Rhage: *Watching her withdraw from me and seeing her face go through the changes of her thoughts. I see her tears start to stream down her face, she’s thinking. She’s thinking very hard, then it comes … she’s thinking we are done. No, no I keep telling myself. Then the next thing I did which I hoped would work ... I put my hands on her shoulders and start to shake her.* 

Mary!!!! Leelan, did you not hear anything I just said. Leethall’s mahmen has gone to the Fade. He only has us. We need to make a life for him. He needs us. @MaryLuce_BDB

Mary: *I felt myself being shaken from my woolgathering and my eyes focus on the beautiful cerulean blues of Rhage and slowly the words penetrate the thundering in my ears.*

Wait, what? *I asked while the words he said sunk in. She’s in the Fade? What happened? All of my insecurities were overshadowed by sadness for her and their child. It’s so sad. I remembered the pain I felt when I lost my own mother.*

I don’t understand. @Rhage_SASBDB

Rhage: *Watching her face go from so many different emotions, had me scared for my Leelan. I knew she was in shock.* 

Leelan, she went into the Fade, that’s what Leethall told me. I was young. Then, I really don’t know how I survived it. But she needed me she was alone and so was I. I left to be with the Brotherhood. I didn’t know she was with young. So we need to come together and be there with Leethall and be his family. 

*Pulling her close to me and kissing her head.* Think we can do that Leelan? @MaryLuce_BDB

Mary: Wait, huh? He talked to you. Wait, you said before you joined the Brotherhood. Wasn’t that like hundreds of years ago? *My mind was going a million miles an hour as I had to rethink my whole thought process. Leethall was a grown male, not a child. Be his family? We were all family here. It didn’t matter. But Rhage would now be a father. He would have his own flesh and blood. That was something I would never be able to give him. 

I needed to snap out of it and stop worrying him … I could see it in his face once I was able to get out of my head.* Rhage, baby, it's fine. I’m sorry … I was thinking all kinds of thoughts. I’m sorry. @Rhage_SASBDB

Rhage: *Sighing with relief cupping her face.* Leelan, you have nothing to worry about. You are my shellan and you always will be, I don’t know him very well and right now he hates me. I didn’t know anything about his mahmen going to the Fade and now he thinks I abandoned them. Maybe one day we can be a family. He is grown male and needing someone to speak with he may be blood of my blood, but we have no bond as father and son. @MaryLuce_BDB

Mary: You shouldn’t worry about that Rhage. I know you will make a bond with him eventually. I’ve seen your compassion and you would be a great dad. I’ve seen you with Nalla and LW. You’re a great uncle and they adore you. Soon you get to have another nephew to love but right now you need to focus on Leethall. Don’t worry about me.

*I spoke from the heart. I’ve seen him many times with the kids of the household and it always sends a pang in my chest knowing that I would never be able to give him a child. I always worried that I wouldn’t be enough. Leethall would be his chance to have his own child … though he missed the first hundred years of his life. I wasn’t sure how the dynamics worked in this type of case. But I could be there for him and hope things would work out. @Rhage_SASBDB

Rhage: Leelan, you are always my first priority and always will be. Leethall is a grown male, he doesn’t need me to help him play catch and I cannot do this without you. You are my rock,  my reason to still be here. I will focus on Leethall with you by my side. That’s all there is to it. 

*She has a heart just like me, we will work on this together as all families do. This whole manse is a family and families do things together.* 

How about it My Mary? @MaryLuce_BDB

Mary: *I leaned my head against his hand and turned to kiss his palm.* You are my everything Rhage, I wouldn't even be here if it wasn’t for you. I will always be there by your side for however long you want me to be.

*I didn’t know where we would go from here. This was a huge change in our relationship. I could only hope that we would still be the same. We barely got through our previous issues about kids and his feelings and now this.* @Rhage_SASBDB

Rhage: I will always want you to be my side. Now, let's go talk to Leethall, maybe he will see that we want him to be a part of our family. That he’s always welcome here. 

*I’m so glad that she’s ok that I want them both to be a part of my life. We will always be together and will work everything out together. Our love with will get us through anything.* @MaryLuce_BDB

Mary: He will always be welcome in this household as family because he’s your family, baby. *Placing my hands on his face to bring him down for a kiss. His lips were always soft and sweet tasting. Probably from all the Tootsie Roll Pops. I loved it.*

Where is he now? @Rhage_SASBDB

Rhage: *Taking the kiss deeper as she tasted wonderful and the smell of her shampoo was intoxicating. Licking my lips and smiling.* You’re so right, Leelan. He’s in the clinic, shall we go say hi and help him feel at home? Maybe seeing a kinder face then mine will help soften him up since you look like an Angel to me Leelan. @MaryLuce_BDB

Mary: *Swoons at his compliment.* Thank you hon. You always know what to say to make me feel better. 

*He really did. I know he acts like a joker with his Brothers, but when we’re alone he is the most romantic male even with the oversaturation of pop culture … he finds a way to make me swoon and feel so lucky.*

I need a shower and a change of clothing. Let me get myself ready. *I needed some time to mentally prepare myself for meeting me his son. Rhage’s son. The entire conversation was starting to play over in my head as I went into the bathroom and got ready for a shower. Maybe I needed some time in a bath. Relax a bit and get my nerves in order.* @Rhage_SASBDB

Rhage: *All I could think about now was her wet body and me needing to touch it and be close to her.* Oh, a shower sounds wonderful. You're right let's go get cleaned up before we go meet our son. 

*Putting my arms around her and picking her up and placing her in the shower with me.* I think this is a perfect idea. I need to clean up anyway from the time in the gym. Can’t go down smelling like a locker room. @MaryLuce_BDB

Mary: Our son. I have a son, well stepson. Oh. My. God. But before it could really sink in, my hellren easily picked me up and we were in the shower as he removed my watch, polo and khakis and I lost all train of thought as he removed his own.

He beautiful eyes were focused on me as he lifts off his wife-beater, track pants and discovering once again that he went commando underneath. He is a beautiful male and has always taken my breath away and still can’t believe that he is all mine.* @Rhage_SASBDB

Rhage: *After we undressed, I take her soap and lather her up, taking my time from her shoulders down to the hottest place on earth. I take my time working her till I hear her breathing fast and working her to orgasm and kiss her softly, then up over to her beautiful breasts and up to her silky hair.

I wash myself never taking my eyes off her. Her face is flush glowing after I helped her work her anxiety out. I knew she was nervous. So I helped her relax the best way I knew how. Getting out, I lift her up and place her on the mat and I wrap a towel around my waist and slowly dry her off spending extra time on her hair.* Ready to get dressed Leelan? *I take her chin and kiss her softly.* @MaryLuce_BDB

Mary: *I slowly shake my head and keep my eyes on him as I slowly sink to my knees on the soft mat and unwrap his towel. His eyes grew large and his breathing starts to change.

As soon as the towel drops, his cock is standing tall and hard for me. I tentatively take my hands and stroke up his staff as I hear him growl softly, then I take into my mouth, the head scraping the roof of my mouth as he hits the back of my throat and I begin to move up and down. Both my hands joining in as he is very endowed and I want him to feel all around. I tease the head just beneath the head with my teeth as my hands tighten and squeeze. I love hearing his moans.* @Rhage_SASBDB

Rhage: *Feeling her hands on me and then the hot wetness of her mouth, I growl as I feel her teeth from on my shaft beneath the head. I can’t take it anymore I have to feel her and I need to be inside her now. I picked her up off the floor and she wraps her legs around me. Filling her with me all the way to the hilt and I let my scent fill the room as I place her on the counter as I work her. 

My beast on my back is rolling as my eyes glow, we both love Mary ... she is ours. I have my hands wrapped around her pulling her ass closer as if I cannot get deep enough. I cover her completely with my scent to let everyone know she is ours. Her hands digging in my shoulder as I pump harder making sure I hit g-spot with every hard push inside her velvety wet clasp. Then I feel her shudder as she cums beautifully in my arms and it triggers my release and I put everything of me inside her. I drop my head to her shoulder and slowly kiss her from her neck to her face.* Leelan we need to get ready. *My breathing coming back to normal.* @MaryLuce_BDB

Mary: *I felt Rhage’s kisses as he slowly began breathing normally again, but it was so fast and quick that I wanted more so I squeezed my internal muscles around his still hard cock inside of me. I could feel him literally growl low and loud as I felt the tremor from inside of me like a vibrator making me gasp.*

“Leelan …” *He warned. But I was having none of that. It had only been a few days since we finally made up after weeks being apart from each other. I continue to squeeze my muscles wanting him to move as I reversed the roles and began kissing his mouth down to his neck and began nibbling with my teeth. Because technically I was still somewhat human, though immortal, I had no need to feed but I knew this would drive him wild. So I sunk my teeth into his neck as I ran my hands through his hair.* @Rhage_SASBDB

Rhage: *Groaning as she bites my neck and pulling on my hair. She knows what that does to us, growing harder inside her again so quickly after. Pumping with everything I have left … her muscles squeezing me with everything she has her teeth sinking in as if she is trying to feed.*

Leelan … *I growl again as I pump for her like she’s needing me to fill her. We were apart for so long that this was us coming together for more make up sex. I grab her hair and pull her head back going to her collarbone and working my up her neck over her face and down to the other side making my way down. Her pussy so swollen having cum a few times already that is like a vise on my cock. I start to suck on her pulse point on her neck as I steadily glide in and out of her wet honey making sure I angle myself to graze her g-spot, I take my thumb and swirl around her puffy clit and then I hear the hitch in her breathing … she’s close. 

So I take a small nip getting the taste of her blood on my tongue and she clamps down so hard as she cums that I can’t help but explode again. Screaming her name, “My Mary” my head falls back and my eyes are so bright they lit up the entire room. My hips keep moving to prolong both our releases and the feel of our combined fluids just makes me cum again as I shudder once more enjoying the tight channel of my female. The apprehension and anxiety bleed from both of us.

Finally, I lower my head back kissing her one more time as I pull out while still kissing her.* I will make everything up to you, Leelan. *I take a washcloth and clean her up gently. I take her hand and lead her to our suite.* Let's get ready.

*After I dress in clean leathers and a wifebeater, I throw on my shitkickers and looked over to her as she dressed. Once ready, I take her by the hand as we head down to the clinic to meet our newest family member. Leethall.*

***** End Flashback Dream *****

*I wake up with a start in sweat as I remember the day. For months, I felt this foreboding that manifested from guilt about not being able to give her a family. She had begged for me to consider sleeping with a Chosen to give us a son … but I couldn’t. No way. I avoided her for weeks … only to later discover that I had created a family so many years ago. I felt even worse knowing that I apparently created a family without her that I knew she wanted and now I had to tell her about a son I never knew I had. 

Look at me,

Oh, I was so naive.

To think love was an ailment that would leave.

You’re becoming better for her.

So why would you care if I was hurting.

How dare I think I’m a strong woman,

Look at me.

Co-written with @IfOnly4MyNallas.

Bella: *As I exited from the door from under the stairs and make my way up the foyer stairs … I start to feel the ache in my muscles. The Scribe Virgin created us to be in good physique as long we didn’t glutton ourselves but we still felt the normal aches and pains, but mostly at a higher threshold than humans. Finally making it back to our bedroom, I started a bath and added some Epson salts that magically appeared, probably Fritz (he always knew what one needed before we even know we needed it). I poured in the salts and carefully pulled off my workout clothes drenched in sweat and threw them into the hamper. Then I slowly lowered myself into my bath with a sigh of relief. The heat of the water steadily relaxed my muscles releasing the tightness from the stress of the session with Payne. 

I made a lot of mistakes for the first time, getting hit many times. I could see the bruises starting to appear on my skin. I hope it wouldn’t bother Z, but I knew it probably would. I sighed. I hope he would understand why I wanted to train. I wanted to be able to defend myself if the situation ever arises. Especially if Nalla and I were somewhere outside the manse. It was rare, by ourselves, but just in case. I was also internally hoping that it would rid me of the damn nightmares. @IfOnly4MyNallas

Zsadist: Finishing up a shift with the trainees, I was fed up. Not one out of the group was where they should be. Some of the other Brothers gave them a wider berth when it came to learning this shit. Not me. I expected them to be at their tip-top. This was no fucking game. This was life or death. I needed to know I could trust every one of them to have my six out in the field, and out of the group I had worked with tonight, I couldn’t say that about any of them. They all fucking sucked, couldn’t stay on their feet, not fast enough on the draw, not sharp enough to know exactly what was happening in every inch of their environment, the list went on. Don’t get me wrong, we had some decent trainees in the program. I just hadn’t gotten lucky enough to work with even one of them tonight.

On top of all that, I had to stop in Wrath’s office on my way back to my suite for an evening meeting. As it turns out, the groupie that Phury and I had run into a few nights ago had been at the Audience House last night. Phury, in all his infinite wisdom, decided that she deserved to be heard and gave her one of our AH cards. The guy will never learn. The number of quote, unquote long lost relatives we see in a month kills me. Since we opened the Audience House doors, they’ve come in droves. Most of them females, looking to find some way to entwine their lives with the Brotherhood’s. It makes me sick just to think about it. It’s like they think we are some kind of rock stars, and if they can just get a taste of one of us, their life will suddenly have meaning. Pathetic, fucking, females.

The thought wound through my body as I slammed the door to Bella and my suite just a little harder than I planned. With a heavy sigh, I made my way across the room to the walk-in and began to strip off my gear.

Bella: *I startled as I heard the door to our suite slam close. Z was back from training … and probably in a foul mood. He often was when he came back from teaching. The trainees often brought him back in a bad frame of mind. Not only did they disappoint him but I sometimes feel deep down … he was scared for them. Being a soldier in this world is not what these millennials think they know. They hear the stories, but most live in sheltered or protected lives never to have to come across a lesser … if they’re lucky. And now? More evil … Shadows have appeared and the Brotherhood is dealing with them too.

Thinking about training and all … I wondered if the females of #SafePlace should also be trained for self-defense. It definitely won’t hurt and if anything it may give them more confidence. The more I thought about it, the better the idea sounded. Perhaps we could get Payne, Xhex or the female soldiers Parry and Nova to help. If they have time in their rotation. Hmmm … I make a reminder to myself to talk to Beth and Mary about it. 

I wash carefully around over the bruising, hoping Z may just go visit with Nalla while I finish my bath to avoid him seeing the majority of my wounds. I can hind most of them under my clothing and robe. I’m hoping it doesn’t add this his mood. He is already worried about the trainees and the Brotherhood, the last thing he needs to worry about is me.

Zsadist: Taking a long, deep breath, I looked in the direction of Nalla’s room. My sweet young. One of the two things that kept me alive on the daily. Just the thought of her settled my nerves until I let the thought seep back in of how these simpleminded trainees would one day be all that stood between her and the evils of our world. That thought made my blood boil. Not if I could help it. These trainees were either going to step up and get shit straight, or I was going to see to it they were left behind. I was done with the wannabes. Wannabe trainees that were never going to be good enough to be considered as a Brother, wannabe females that were just waiting for a Brother to make their lives have meaning… wannabes everywhere I turned my head.

Considering my current headspace, I thought better of going into Nalla’s room. I didn’t want her to feel this energy washing off of me. Bella was better equipped to deal with it. She always knew just how to calm my nerves. However, it wasn’t really fair. It seemed that Bella was doing an awful lot of that lately. I needed to get my own shit in order. Far too often, I came home from patrol or working with the trainees in the crappiest of moods, and Bella would have to soothe my mind. One of these days, I was going to have to come home and surprise her with flowers or some shit. I’d have to ask Mary or Fritz for help with that.

Stepping towards the bathroom, I could hear the soft sounds of water trickling back into a tub. I could envision it before I even stepped through the door. Bella, sitting in the garden tub, scented bubbles lining the top of the water, leg stretched out as she slowly ran a loofa down… over a massive bruise?! “What the fuck, Bella?!” Instantly, every muscle in my body tightened as the reality of Bella’s newest interest slapped me across the face. Payne would get a monumental earful from me the next time I saw her.

Bella: Z, hey. *Quickly lowering my leg back into the bubbly water, knowing he saw the bruise.* Babe, you know bruises were going to happen. I don’t normally work out and do physical activity, it was bound to happen. It just hurts a small bit. It’s expected. You know that. I kept the rest of my body underneath the water … hoping he might just leave it be. But I knew better.*

Z, it really isn’t that bad. I know Payne wasn’t even using her full force. She was just teaching me a few self-defensive moves. Nothing too crazy. I’m fine … really. *I really hoped he could see that I needed this and not freak out about the bruises I was bound to receive as I learned. Scribe forbid, I get a black eye or stitches. 

I knew this would be hard for him. When Nalla received a small scrape outside on the courtyard from chasing a butterfly. I swear it took me hours to convince him not to build a rubber mat all over the “cursed” cement. Toddlers were bound to get little scrapes and cuts. Though you could not convince Z otherwise. Granted his childhood was not conventional. But I remember, my big brother putting bandaids on my skinned knees when I was little. Kissing them to make them feel better. It was a part of growing up.*

Zsadist: Bella’s leg disappeared way too quickly under that bubble-filled bathtub, and it left me wondering how many other bruises she was hiding. If this was the way this so-called training was going to be, I was going to be putting an end to it really fucking fast. I get that she THINKS she wants to be able to protect herself, but she doesn’t need to. She will never be in a situation where she will need to. There will always be someone with her that will do that for her. If not me, then one of the other Brothers.

How did I let her talk me into this in the first place? What led me to believe that this would ever be a good idea? She says she’s fine. Really? Fine? That bruise was purple! A mere slap on the leg didn’t make those types of bruises. She was hit hard. I’d be willing to bet she hit the floor on that one. Teeth gritted, a loud growl bellowed from deep in my gut, just envisioning it.

I realized I had been pacing the bathroom floor and stopped. Turning to look at my shellan, I said as calmly as I could, “Stand up.” I could see the hesitation written all over her face. There were more. “Bella,” I closed my eyes as I tried to get the image out of my head. “Just stand up.”

Bella: *Crap. I knew my male and he was going to lose his shit.* 

Zsadist, you have to remember why I need to do this. I’m not trained like you and Payne and so I will have bruises just like any other trainee the Brotherhood would train. You know as well as I do that it’s going to happen more often than not. I need to do this. Please remember that.

*I gingerly stood up, the water dripping off my body … I was hoping that maybe that would distract my male, but as I looked into his now obsidian eyes … I knew he was more focused on the different colors on my skin rather than the skin itself. I knew this would happen but I hoped he would understand my need to do this for myself.*

Z?

Zsadist: “You don’t need to train to become a …” I couldn’t finish my comment as she stood up in the tub. All I could see was yellow, green, and purple blotches all over her skin. One-quarter of her body had marks on it. As I ran my hand over my scalp to the back of my neck, I barely realized how tense my jaw clenched. I was afraid if I opened up my trap, I was going to say a bunch of shit I might regret later.

A few years back, refraining from speaking my mind was the last thing I cared about, but seeing how that affected Bella when we first got together, I had begun to learn how to handle myself a little differently when it came to barking out every thought that crossed my mind. I needed to stop and catch myself. I could go straight for the jugular without even thinking, and I really didn’t want to be that guy with Bella.

After taking a few minutes to wear a hole in the bathroom floor, I finally stopped and looked my Bella up and down again. Keeping my teeth gritted, I quietly said, “This,” motioning to her body, “is not what I agreed to, Bella. I agreed to self-defense, maybe some krav maga, but going down to the training room and getting a fucking beat down every day was definitely NOT what I agreed to.” I realized that my voice was quickly getting louder, but I couldn’t stop myself. This was not happening. I was also pacing again, and Bella was being unusually quiet, probably giving me some room to process, but it wouldn’t last long. Bella was not one to stay quiet for too long.

I couldn’t even look at her anymore. Those bruises looked way too painful. “One or two bruises, once in a while, is one thing, but this … this is just fucking brutal.” Every single muscle in my body was tense as I visualized retaliating against Payne for this. I was not above beating a female, especially one who thought that stopping just short of putting my female in the hospital was just another day of training. What fucking numbnut thought that starting training with the beat down, without showing someone how to defend themselves first, was the right way to do it? I thought Payne was more intelligent than that. I guess it was just one more person disappointing me.

Looking back at Bella, I opened my mouth and said the one thing that would probably start WWIII between us, but I couldn’t stop them from coming out. Seeing her like this was tipping the scales, making me lose my fucking mind, “This …” motioning once more, “is going to stop.”

Bella: *I went to go pick up a towel and began to wrap it around myself.*

Z, it isn’t up to you. I need this. But if you don’t want to see the bruises … I suggest you find somewhere else to sleep for a while. Or Nalla and I can go stay at #SafePlace and I can train there with the instructor they have come to teach the other females. I only figured you would trust Payne’s training over someone else’s.

*I dried myself off as I could see Z in my peripheral with his mouth hanging open at my statement. I did need this after talking with Mary and understanding my nightmares, I just needed to feel secure in my ability to be able to fight back even if my success was low at winning … I needed to try. I put my robe on and went out of the bathroom and into our closet to get clothes and wondered what will happen now.*

Zsadist: I didn’t move from where I stood. I was not giving in. In an all too hushed voice, dripping in fury, I spoke without turning to my Nalla, “Bella, I can and will stop anyone that tries to train you. So, you can either work with me, or this is fucking over. Your decision.”

There was no way in fuck this was continuing. This was only day one. I didn’t want to imagine what day two would look like. By day three, she wasn’t going to be able to move. She would have bruises upon bruises on top of each other. This literally was like walking into a beating every day. Turning, I entered the bedroom, and my voice got louder. “Where is the defense of this ‘Self-defense’ training?” I asked. “All I see is a solid beat down, which I refuse to have you submit to every single day, even if it is Payne doing it. Whatever happened to walking before you ran? We discussed this. You knew what I would and wouldn’t tolerate. This …” pointing to her body, she was quickly trying to cover with her robe, “... this shit I will not tolerate.”

She could call it whatever she wanted; this was someone beating the fuck out of her and waiting for her to call out, “Uncle.” She could force me to sleep elsewhere, or she could sleep at Safe Place. That didn’t matter right now. I could still stop this no matter what, and I would if she weren’t willing to listen to me and do this the right way. Not sleeping in the same place for a bit was way better than knowing that this was happening to her every fucking day.

Bella: *My irritation was growing as I put on some yoga pants and a t-shirt quickly so I could hash this out with my hellren.* 

First of all, that was not a beat down, you realize that I have never trained in my entire existence, bruises are to be expected. I /was/ defending myself. Or learning to. Even blocking hits will cause me bruises. Clearly you still don’t fucking get it … why I need this. So be it. 

I’ll take Nalla with me to #SafePlace and I will train there. I’m not asking for permission, this is just a statement. And as to the issue of stopping … I’d like to see you explain to Wrath why you step foot into #SafePlace that does not allow males to enter and intimidate and scare all the females and children within. I’d love to be a fly on the wall when you meet with him, Beth, Marissa and Mary about /THAT/!

Zsadist: Fuck all! I was trying not to lose my shit, but it was Bella that didn’t get it. I wasn’t against her training. I was against her getting the snot beaten out of her. This was not the person I wanted to be around her. I had come so far from being this male, but seeing all those bruises on her just brought out all my primal instincts to protect her, even if it were from herself.

Following her from one room to the next, I tried to clarify my position. “Bella, I am not against your training as much as you don’t believe me. I am just not going to sit back and watch someone put you through this every fucking day.” I used a technique Mary had taught me to use when I got this way. I started to slow down my breathing, and for a split-second, it worked … but just for a split-second. “Fuck, Bella! How do you expect me to live watching you come home every day looking like someone took a bat to you?” There was no way I was going to be able to do this. “There are other ways to start your training. Like, I don’t know … using gear that will protect you until you get a feel for protecting yourself! Evil Kenevil didn’t just jump a bike over 50 cars right off the bat. He started off with protective gear and jumping more minor things. Then, when he was more ready, mind and body, he started to jump bigger things, and then he started to take off his gear. Baby steps, Bella! You don’t learn how to ride a horse starting off bareback!”

How did she not understand my point in all this? What was so wrong with using protective gear until she got the hang of the moves? “Go ahead and take Nalla to Safe Place if you want, but know this: I don’t have to step foot on that property to make sure that no one there trains you. I just have to make a few calls.”

Bella: *I was fuming. He just doesn’t understand. My whole life I was coddled and taken care of first by my mahmen, then my brother and now my hellren. I needed to do this on my own. The bruises were expected of training. Did he not remember all the trainees these past years? Or was he so blinded that it was me and not some random trainee he wasn’t related to? I knew this would be hard for him and it was only Day #1. This argument was already exhausting and draining after my training session. I just felt all the adrenaline and energy zap out of me in that moment. 

Could I really take Nalla from the only home she knew and the people that loved and protected her? Sure, Marissa, Mary and the other Chosen who often play with her would be at #SafePlace, but all her uncles? I sighed quietly and continued to get ready for bed and grabbed Nalla from her nursery and started to get her ready for bath and bed, ignoring Z along the way. There really wasn’t much to say anymore. I said my piece and I figured he just needed to let this off his chest and get it over with.

I took off her Red Sox onesie and placed her stuffed dragon next to the tub as I placed her in and let her play with the duckies and toys as the water continued to fill slowly with warm water. Wondering how got here. The nightmares were plaguing my every dream for months. Mary and I talked about self-defense training and it seemed like the best solution to help alleviate my apparent unconscious fears.

I could hear Zsadist pacing behind us.*

Zsadist: She wasn’t even going to consider my side in this? She was just going to walk by me and ignore me like my feelings meant absolutely nothing. That’s fine. I pulled my cell out of my pocket and dialed, hearing an annoyed, “What?!” on the other end of the phone. I spoke loud enough so that Bella could hear me in the other room with the water running. “Payne is not to train Bella any more.” Wrath knew I was serious. He also wasn’t about to get in the middle of a fight between a hellren and his shellan, except for the fact that he needed me on my game when out in the field, so if this one request was going to make sure I was solid and had everyone’s six’s, he would approve of it. Anything for the fight. I hung up and left the quarters, going back down to the gym to destroy a few bags.

Bella: *My back stiffened at Z’s call clearly to Wrath about Payne training me. I cannot believe he just did that. Then LEFT! This seemed like how he was at the beginning of our relationship. With the anger and disappearing act. UGH. This male was going to be the death of me.

I knew he wouldn’t understand. I guess it was time to pack our bags then. I couldn’t live with these nightmares anymore and I needed to see this through until the end, with our without my hellren’s support. So be it.

I finished Nalla’s bath and put on her pajamas with tiny angels and grabbed her stuffed dragon and began packing a few things of hers that she would need for an overnight stay. I could get #Fritz to pack the rest of her stuff. I grabbed her things and went back into my closet and grabbed my overnight bag and packed some clothes and my things and wondered if what I was doing was right. But then I thought back to the fact that Z wasn’t even there at the training session to see that Payne wasn’t even really putting all her strength behind her hits and was just showing me the ropes of how to defend grabs and hits that males, men or even lessers would most likely do. He didn’t even talk to her to see what exactly happened to cause all my bruises.

I wasn’t even in any really pain, though I probably will feel differently tomorrow after a day’s rest. Tears fell on my hands as I belatedly noticed I was crying. Nalla sitting on our mated bed leaned into me and gave me a hug and gave me her stuffed dragon. Kissing my sweet baby on her forehead, quickly finished packing and made my way quietly down the stairs and out into the vestibule into the night. I wasn’t sure if Nalla and an overnight bag may be too much for a dematerialization especially with how I’m feeling.

Written by @FmrCopBONeal and @TohrSASRP

Butch: [The nightmares of Janey had been coming for over a week. Each time she came to me in my dreams she killed me in different ways. It had been usually choking to death or slicing my throat. But this last one shook me to my soul. It wasn’t the twelve-year-old boy anymore, it was me in the present and with my dagger to my heart I just simply ash away like one of the race’s enemies. 

After this nightmare, I hit the Lag hard to the point my liver was tapping out but I was still pushing it. What is going on? It’s never been like this. Nightmares every night cause me to feel ill and tainted. It has never happened like this, in all the years I had dreamed of Janey. 

I look at the clock and curse I am late for helping with the training. Great, that is all I need to deal with is Tohr riding my ass. One for the road, hell yeah. I grab the bottle of Lag and take a huge pull or five from it. Before heading out to Tohr’s office. @TohrSASRP

Tohr: In my office, I looked over the schedules one more time, furrowing my brow as a headache was slowly developed. I was certainly in no state to do any sort of administration but I was off rotation which meant I was confined to my desk or left pacing my room or the manse in general. Hell, I wasn’t even on call for a training session with the trainees, and the gym would be filled tonight with the young ones so that was a no-go as well. Nothing sounded any more helpful than pushing paper for the training program, so that had been where I had ended up, and hence the headache was a necessary evil to not going completely crazy. 

Butch was on teaching duty tonight, paired up with Axel, a young hopeful that had shown a lot of potential in class and could use some private mentoring lessons. For tonight Butch was set to look after his hand-to-hand, polishing it up and making it more powerful. A weak punch was no good on the battlefield after all. I fish out my phone and text the Cop, since he was about to run late. The guy was probably just trying to decide what leathers went with what shitkickers in that hoarder’s nightmare he called a closet. I then open up my office door and call in Axel, hoping at least someone had made it on time.   

Butch:  I have no clue how the fuck I ended up outside of Tohr’s office from the Pit or how the fuck I was standing upright. Here we go, ladies and gentlemen, I knock like the police were about to bust down your mother fucking door and walk in there, sitting on one side of Tohr’s desk is the trainee, Axel. 

When I look at Tohr, I can see he is fucking annoyed at me. “WHAT?” Looking at the clock damn. I am twenty minutes late. Trying not to slur my speech as I talk. “Sorry, I lost track of time doing ... things.” Did I just sway, I think I just swayed. “Axel, meet you out on the mats,” not wanting to hear it from Tohr. I turn and head out leaving them both sitting there. 

Tohr: When Butch finally showed his face, I was ready to give one hell of a talk-to drill-seargent style but he blew me off faster than I anticipated. Something was off though with my Brother. He was less… Shit, was chummy the right word? Normally the Cop was laid-back and relaxed, very casual but he seemed more … well friendly, but in a less restrained way. Like he wasn’t trying to camouflage his friendly side as much as he used to. Pair that with a hint of alcohol on his breath and I’m fairly sure I hit the shit jackpot. 

Either that or I’m getting paranoid … yeah, not going down that lane. I look to Axel and offer a nod. “Best get out on the mats and start warming up. Butch won’t take long to get ready.” I assured him though I knew I had to keep an eye on Butch. My paranoid feeling seemed insistent on hanging around.  

Butch: I quickly change and head out to the mats. Rolling my shoulders, I have a plan to let the little fucker, Axel, think he is kicking my ass than BAM. I would turn the table and make him cry, uncle. 

Cracking my neck and shaking out my arms as I carry myself to the center of the mat. I get in fighting stand and beckon the young trainee to attack. He is smart, he leads me to one side and starts making me move back. I stumble over my foot and he takes me down. Sloppy on my part.  Fuck, he has me in a neck hold and the squeeze he is putting on his arm is a match for match with Rhage or V.

In my still drunk haze of trying to act normal. Something snapped as he squeezed my throat, my sleep-deprived ass watched as Axel turning into a lesser, I could smell the acidy baby powder and when I attempted to inhale the lesser  It did not work. What the living fuck. My eyes grew wide. I immediately panicked that this lesser would get up to the main house and start killing infants and shellans. I shifted my footing and was able to flip the lesser to the mat and with my strength. I came down hard on the lesser knocking the wind out of him. I start punching right and left at the lesser's face. I could feel the bones of the lessers face breaking and him yelling out to stop. 

Tohr: As soon as Butch and Axel hit the mats, I kept half an eye on them as I continued my paperwork back in the office. It was no problem leaving the door to the admin office open a bit. Somehow listening to the sparring and trainees made me feel more at ease. Perhaps it helped me shut out some of the other thoughts haunting my brain for the time being. 

I watched as Axel seemed to really put up a good fight with Butch, practically dancing around him and luring him into a pretty good chokehold. My eyes widened as I saw Butch switch around on the kid, beating the everliving shit out of him, the rest of the trainees backing off. In a dash, I beat feet towards my brother and peeled him from the poor trainee. 

“Butch! BUTCH!” I practically scream into his face, wrestling Axel from his death-hold. “Stand down!” I command and look to a few trainees. “Get Axel to the medical wing, the staff will patch him up” when no one really moved, I narrow my eyes. “NOW!” making them finally get their fingers out their arses and moving. 

I looked back to Butch, growling at him as I dragged his ass back into the office, slamming the door behind us. “What the hell was that?! Are you trying to kill our trainees?!”

Butch: I push Tohr away from me. I start pacing back and forth like a caged animal. I shake my head at what I did, I swear that he was a lesser. What the fuck is wrong with me? I continue to shake my head as I pace muttering to myself. 

Once Tohr starts to yell at me, I whipped my head around at him, I growl.  “He was a mother fucking Lesser Tohr. I was stopping him before he got to the main house.”  I get right into Tohr’s face, “I was killing what I fucking needed to.” I was fucking losing my shit. I need to get out of here, I need to go back to drink. “Fuck this, I am out.” I head to the door flinging it open taking it off it off the hinges. I head to the game room of the compound, know that is where I will find the fastest drink. I didn’t even care what it is as long as it numbs my head. I get there to see half bottle of Lag and I pick it up undoing the top before taking a huge pull from the bottle, letting the drink burned my throat down to my gut. Everything as silent for a brief fucking moment.

Tohr: I heard Butch growl at me and I growled right back, not taking any shit. As it became clear to me that the Cop was not well, I didn’t respond to his ramblings but instead let him walk off to let him cool a little. I had a good idea of where he was headed given his scotch-breath. Fuck, he really stank and I should have never let him and Axel spar at all. 

I sent the rest of the trainees to the showers and headed into the admin office, writing a log of tonight's accident before calling a doggen via the office telephone to get the bus moving well ahead of schedule. No reason for the trainees to linger too much if they didn’t need to. 

On the computer I head into the Brotherhood schedule and pull Butch from the rotation completely, attaching a note to come to talk to me about the matter, in case there were questions from my brothers. No need to air the dirty laundry given Butch was already in a bad state. After finishing my admin work, I headed back up to the manse, going straight from the secret door to the billiards room, finding Butch in the middle of a solo drinking contest. Poor sod was obviously losing his mind over something but I found it better not to pry. The Cop had already growled at me once, and given what he had done to Axel, I’d rather not go head-to-head with the guy. 

Our morning started off with me and Tyler waking up bright and early to call in to work. Today, our precious little bundle of joy will be aging up!

After successfully calling in, I went in to wake our precious little girl and get her ready to age up. Once I called Tyler into her room, I aged her up into a toddler!

Everyone meet little Stella!

Stella’s first meal as a toddler was a yogurt made by yours truly. She seemed to enjoy it :)

After meal time, potty training! Always fun. XD

Such a proud mom. :)

While I was upstairs potty training Stella, Tyler went downstairs and started recording some videos for his new SimTube account! Yay!

Annnnnnnnd its nap time. Thank goodness. She may be adorable, but goodness is she a handful.

After Stella is put down for a nap, me and Tyler set to work downstairs in the office on our respective things. Him editing videos, and me producing music. Both of our passions.

Later, Tyler surprised me by making dinner. We ate together and had a nice time talking about everything under the sun.

And of COURSE, he had to go and tell me one of his gross jokes. 

But LOOK AT THAT DIAMOND!! Woo!

After a long day filled with playing with my new toddler and dealing with my fiance, I was happy to just catch a nap on the couch.

Love

Harry loved Draco.

He loved the way he smiled that secret smile, the way he kissed his lips so passionately.

They stood at the altar, everyone’s smiling eyes on them. Harry saw Draco start to tear up as he felt tears in his own eyes. Draco smiled at him as the priest said, “You may kiss the groom.”

They leaned in slowly, and, as their lips touched, Harry’s hands ran through Draco’s hair. The world had gone; only the two of them existed.

They broke apart, as the priest cleared his throat, and shot him an embarrassed but content grins. They turned to their friends and family and smiled.

Harry just loved Draco.