The Aces Charity Carnival
Ladies and gentleman, step right up! It’s time for the annual Las Vegas Aces Charity Carnival!
Born from spitballing in the Parse Posi Posse discord. Love to @rushingsnowy (Linnea) and beaniebaneenie (CJ) for cheerleading and helping with this, and love to the rest of the Posse for all their support and awesomeness in general!
Suddenly I have the image of the Aces doing some sort of fundraiser with a dunk tank and everyone on the team signing up so they can dunk Carl
And like, it's outside in Las Vegas and normally it would be like, super hot so getting dunked in a tub full of water would be a good thing? Except it's stupidly unseasonably cold the day of the fundraiser so by the end of his shift Carl is shivering and his lips may or may not be blue from it
And then it's Kent's turn and everyone who signs up misses on purpose.
Jeff has a line a mile long while he's in the kissing booth.
Mostly because he's out at this point so there's both men and women lined up to kiss him
Kent gets in line with the guise of it being "for charity" but really he just wants to be able to kiss his boyfriend in public with a layer of plausible deniability
Scrappy is actually really good at face painting? So he spends the whole time painting kids faces with Aces logos and butterflies and sharks and abusing his glitter spray liberally
So what if each booth is for a different charity. Like the kissing booth is for HIV testing, the dunk tank is for well drilling in impoverished countries, the face painting is for art education... and each Ace is sponsoring one of the booths and matching all donations by 500%
CJ: What if the only person who dunks Kent is Bitty, because he wanted to see Kent with a wet t-shirt
But it's okay because it's at the end of his shift and then Jeff is there with a big fluffy towel to get him all dry
Jack is super awkward at this whole carnival thing. But he and Kent have started talking again and Kent had invited him and it was the offseason so he really didn't have an excuse....
He asks for a hockey stick at the face painting booth and scrappy paints a super glittery butterfly on him instead because he's still a little petty about how much his Captain got hurt by this guy
Jeff scolds him later because liking butterflies as a guy isn't a bad thing and shouldn't be used as a method of humiliating someone but at the same time he's like but for real I get you, bro
Jeff's just like "next time just like, paint that the Aces are better than the Falcs and then get that shit on insta."
CJ: ....what if Jack offers to get in the dunk tank (also matching donations?)
Bitty talks him into this because the only thing better than jack in a tshirt is jack in a wet tshirt Bitty has a Thing okay?
Linnea: are bitty and jack out in this? does the media latch onto pictures of sparkly butterfly on jack's face and go 'this gay pro athlete out here, being gay' and jack's like 1) i just wanted a hockey stick 2) a sparkly butterfly isn't what makes me gay? i was literally holding my boyfriend's hand and kissing him. why not take a picture of that?
Jack and Bits are definitely out for this.
There's definitely like, a hardest slap shot competition, with two entry levels - amateaur and pro. Because a lot of hockey players show up for this thing and jump at the chance to show off
Bitty actually signs up for the pro side and does pretty damn well for himself.
Jack and Kent end up tying for second. Some nobody fourth liner for the Lightning gets first and a lot of the players in the area are like hmmmmm
One of their goalies is really good at slight of hand, and does magic trick shows for the kids
They call the goalie Houdini. His first name is Harry anyway, the magic tricks were just a fortunate coincidence.
He's like their back-up's back up. But the guys love him too much so even though he's down in the AHL for the moment, he still gets invited to all the team events off season.
There's also a silent auction of course, and there's the requisite signed jerseys and sticks and pucks, but there are also gift certificates to the player's favorite restaurants, and one of the most popular items is a date with a few of the players.
So. Who wins the dates? Let me tell you.
Jeff's date is bought by this older gentleman who takes Jeff out to a celebrity restaurant in Vegas and then to a bourbon bar afterwards and they bond over talking about trains - Jeff loves model trains and the gentleman's father was an engineer.
Scrappy goes out with a woman whose husband bought the date for her. She's middle aged and super self conscious about her looks, but Scrappy is a total gentleman and treats her like royalty the entire night. They go swing dancing and she turns out to be really good once she gets the hang of it.
CJ: What if scrappy got her a corsage, bc that's what people did for dates when this woman was in the dating world
Kent's "date" is bought by the parents of a ten-year old kid who's on the spectrum and idolizes Kent. Kent takes him out onto the ice and shows him how to shoot the puck and gives him a jersey and one of his old sticks and shows him all around the behind the scenes of the arena, and also gives him box seat tickets to a game with his parents. It's a private box so if it gets too overstimulating for him he can take a break. Kent keeps up with the kid, sending him emails and eventually helps him pay for college when his parents go through a rough spot.
No one buys Carl's date.
CJ: bitty also definitely paid to kiss swoops
Kent gets Ideas when he sees Jeff and Bitty kiss. Because he's over Jack by now, he has no desire to start up any sort of sexual relationship with him ever again. But. He just might be convinced to sit and watch their boyfriends.... >.> this isn't an NsFW chat but you get the idea.
CJ: ...maybe Kent gets it in his head to kiss bitty?
And is v. disappointed when Bits doesn't get in line for his shift at the kissing booth. But then again he isn't out so Bits may just be trying to respect that? But then again he IS Jack's fiancé. And Kent is Jack's ex. Maybe that would be weird? But maybe it would be hot... fuck.
All I know is they def go out for a double date after the carnival except Bitty isn't aware it's a double date at first because he doesn't know Kent and Jeff are together, except Kent thinks he does because he definitely told Jack about them and he just figures that Jack will have told Bitty but he hasn't? Because he didn't want to out Kent if that's not what he wanted? And Jesus Christ Jack, since when did you get to be so thoughtful?
Fuck, yes of course you can tell your fucking fiancé that I'm in a relationship with my teammate but thank you for not assuming.
CJ: "Hey Eric, Swoops and I need you to settle something for us... We keep fighting over who is the better kisser... We need you to be the objective scorer. For science."
Bitty: But I'm not a girl? Kent: wait, what? Bitty: you're both straight, right? Or well, I know Jeff is Bi but... Jeff: Eric, Kent and I are together. Kent: And you know Jack is my ex. Bitty: Right but like you'd never actually come out to me or anything and I didn't want to assume I just thought maybe you were trying to get comparisons between how you both kiss different people and Jeff: Dude, breathe.(edited)
CJ: Jeff: also Zimmermann? [Bitty] is a good kisser. Out of your league, definitely. Way to go.
Jeff: *holds out a fist for a bump* Jack: Uh.... Bitty: No, babe he's totally right. I am so out of your league. *kisses his cheek*
Meet me in NSFW.
They go back to Kent and Jeff's place after dinner and Kent is definitely quite a bit tipsy on wine and Jeff is pleasantly buzzed and Bitty is too and Jack's the only one who's fully sober.
Jeff: So Kent and I were talking. Kent: *giggles* Jeff: And he'd totally like to watch you fuck me, Eric. If you'd be up for that. Bitty: :flushed: Jack: :no_mouth: :thinking: :flushed: CJ: Bitty: looks at swoops and sees tall muscle-y brunette Bitty: i.....could be persuaded
Bitty: glances at Jack Jack: subtly tries to hide the bulge that's appeared in his dress pants Jack: *looks at Kent* Would that mean we...? Kent: Oh, no. Sorry Zimms, you know I love you bro but that'd be weird I think? But I'm totally cool with watching them while we jack off to it. Admit it, it'd be hot as fuck. Jack: :tomato: Jeff: I'll take that as a yes?
CJ: Ngl i love bitty/parswoops bc  A) Kent gets two bfs B) swoops has two smol blond boyfriends
I don't see Jeff getting with Jack tho. TBH, I don't think Jack would be down for sharing himself with someone else? But he's totally on board for Bitty being with who he wants.
So when they all get together Bitty, Jeff and Kent go have their fun while Jack sits out on the porch reading a book and getting the quiet time he needs, and then Bitty sleeps with him in the guest room at night
CJ: And on nights where Jack needs to breathe, bitty and Jeff cuddle with Kent In the middle
Yes. And it takes so long for Jack to admit that some nights he just needs to be alone because at first he feels like that's rejecting bitty? But then they have Jeff and Kent in their lives and Jack can get what he needs and so can Bitty and it's perfect
CJ: Jeff also approves of this because it's easier to lavish attention on kent with two
CJ: And overstimulated, wrecked Kenny is beautiful
And like, before they got to this point Bitty and Jack's relationship was kinda on the rocks because they were fighting all the time (surprise surprise Jack couldn't communicate what he needed)
But now it's just so peaceful? Like yeah they still fight but it's just normal couple stuff.
CJ: Swoops would probably be good at getting them to cope better
Oh yeah. He would be super no nonsense about it too.
Like just. Sit them down and be like look, you're both idiots. Figure this out, Kent and I are going to the movies.
The end <3
