its important to know im a jackparse truther but parswoops is so funny to me

also my friend drew this for me everyone say thank you sinister friend

okay this one took me a very long time to think on because like... i like parswoops but only under very specific circumstances. so i am going to answer as if i don't like them together (even though i kind of do?).

Why don’t you ship it?

okay so from the beginning i was like... but swoops isn't a real guy. this was before i had the blast of a lifetime *making* him into a real guy, but prior to p(r)etty boy i was like... swoops whom? (which is hilarious because i did, at one point, have a parswoops bdsm fic out on ao3. it is now deleted; which is fine. it was bad.)

2. What would have made you like it?

any time someone treats swoops as someone who isn't just jack-lite is when i enjoy this ship. also parswimms. but either jack has to be there or he can't be there at all/he cannot have anything to do with them. you can't just throw swoops in as the solution to kent's heartbreak without giving me a good reason as to *why* he's the solution. otherwise he's just another tall brunet dude kent fell for. that's annoying (though not as annoying as when it's tater...).

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

89. “You’re holding back.”

NOT UNO REVERSE CARDING ME

ok let's see

He doesn't know how the topic came up. It's Friday night after the game, the Sharks annihilated on Vegas home turf, and a celebration at Kent's place followed. Everyone else is gone already, and now it's just the two of them - an increasing occurrence, Kent notes dizzily - with Kent sitting on the floor, leaning his back against the couch and Swoops lying on it, lounging on the cushions.

extra: i've been watching through the window pane and hurting on the floor (nsfw)

Back in the hotel room, Swoops crowds Kent against the door. “Is this okay?” he whispers, his voice strained with lust. “Let me take your mind off him for a bit.” Kent just nods into it, wants anything to relieve himself of the heartbreak at this point.