#damianwayne

*comm line pings*

Dick: Alrighty, Alfred is waiting for us back at the Cave. We’re still on for that sleep-

Damian: Ok but I do think that I am a much better fighter than you?

Dick: *pausing*

Dick: Lord-Why are they bickering?

Tim: Because Jason got pistol whipped by a thug and Damian nearly slipped off a rooftop so now they’re debating who’s more skilled.

Jason: Fighting has fucking nothing to do with the situation, Damian! It’s about the most experience.

Damian: *hissing* Can you not scream my secret identity? Everyone within a mile radius can hear you. You’re just mad because you were apprehended for being the criminal that you are.

Tim: Back up. When the fuck were you arrested?

Jason: *fake sniffling* It’s actually really insensitive for you *sniffle* to bring up because you know how hard my childhood was and-

Damian: When hasn't he been arrested?

Dick: You were there, Tim.

Tim: I was?

Dick: Remember when Jason and I were suppose to hangout a couple months back and he never showed? So I go to the Batcave and you’re like typing away on the BatComputer and I ask you where he’s at and you go ‘ I dunno. Busy.’ I forced you to track him down and he’s at the fucking WatchTower, all you said was ‘ He’s either at the J.L Headquarters or does that look like the moon to you?

Jason: *loud cackling* The moon!

Tim: I was sleep deprived. My bad that I didn’t have it in me to track down a grown-man.

Damian: *humming contently* Father was so angry when he learned that the Justice League arrested his son.

Tim: Why didn't you just fight back or run?

Jason: Run? From the Justice League? You're insane. I have a gun.

Dick: Your fault, by the way. Bruce wanted to take you off The Most Wanted List and you said no.

Jason: All I said was ' Crazy that I'm ranked higher on the list than the fucking Joker.' He's the one that got mad and walked away from the computer.

Tim: *cackling* Oh yeah. He *wheezes* told me about this later. You didn’t fucking call him.

Damian: I wouldn’t have either. Then again-My fighting abilities wouldn’t have allowed me to be captured like a princess.

Jason: I’ll drown you in the harbor, you fucking gremlin.

Dick: Actually-Yeah. Why didn’t you call B?

Jason: It’s a pride thing. You wouldn’t understand.

Tim: what the fuck is wrong with you.

Dick: No. He’s cooking actually.

Jason: The way I see it, I was fucked. I either called him and explained to the J.L about my daddy issues and got chewed out by Bruce. Or I let him find out by himself and I still get chewed out but HE has to be the one to explain his weird obsession with adopting kids that look the same.

Dick: *loud interrupting cackle* He does. He really fucking does.

Jason: IF ANYTHING-IF ANYTHING. I’m the victim here.

Damian: *muttering* Is what you said when the cop asked you ‘ Did the bad drug dealer touch you?’

*smack heard over the comm lines*

Damian: OWWWW.

Tim and Dick: *wheezing*

Jason: I didn’t get Mirandized or given my one free phone call. I wasn’t gonna ask for it. But it’s the thought that counts, ya know? The Justice in the Justice League is fake as fuck.

Dick: Bruce showed up to the Watchtower, all “ Why the fuck is my son is the holding cell?” And Green Arrow said “ Didn’t he chop off like 7 heads and put it in a duffel bag? You raised that?”

Jason: Shit. That was once. You make one mistake.

Tim: *wheezing* Green Arrow has a fucking point. Like B’s whole moral code is about never killing and here comes this guy on the The Most Wanted List, with a big red bat on his chest, waving a gun around. Didn’t you swear at Superman-

Damian: *snickering* Good God-What did you say?

Jason: I reminded him of my rights as an American fucking citizen! I said to give me my one free phone call or I’d spike his water with Kryptonite.

Dick and Tim: *wheezing, smacking sounds*

Jason: Anyways, B shows up and goes," You just let them arrest you." Like he's fucking astonished that I willingly went with them-

Damian: I am as well. You didn't even try to fight.

Jason: What is it with you assholes and thinking that fleeing from the Justice League is fucking easy? 99% of them are fucking superpowered and I have a gun.

Dick: *cackling* B got even more irritated that Gotham was just a convention that day for his coworkers apparently.

Tim: *thinking* That's a good point though. Why were they all in Gotham?

Jason: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. LIKE I WAS JUST DOING A SIMPLE DRUG BUST AND THEY SHOW UP LIKE," YOU'RE ON THE MOST WANTED LIST, LET ME KIDNAP YOU AND TAKE YOU TO OUR HEADQUARTERS."

Damian: So this proves my argument. I would win in a fight against you.

Jason: That's what you get out of this? Are we joking?

Damian: I wouldn't have been arrested.

Jason: Cause they wouldn't have seen your short ass.

Dick: *wheezing* Guys-Please. Let’s not argue.

Damian: I’m not having a sleepover with him *boots crunching, slipping noise, and a yelp can be heard*

Jason: *howling with laughter* I TOLD YOU. HE JUST FUCKING TWISTED HIS ANKLE.

Batsis reader shortfic

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My name is ___ Wayne, daughter of Bruce Wayne. I am his first biological child, and first child in general. Bruce adopted Jason Todd when he was about fourteen, and I was fifteen. I didn't care all too much when the boy was adopted. Despite this, I still looked out for him in our shared classes and made him feel cared for. Over time we became close. You can imagine how devastated I was when the Joker murdered him. I never trained as the two did as I never even thought of becoming a hero or vigilante, so I didn't see the point. I wish I had trained. I wish I had at least gotten good with weapons. Maybe then I'd have been able to save my brother's life. I don't understand why father let him die. I blame him. He had the skills, had the weapons/resources... Yet... He didn't save him. My logical brain says he must've been afraid of what he'd see. My more emotional side says he's a coward. You think you're afraid, Father? Jason was afraid. He was frightened. He is the one who died. Sometimes when I get really sad, I imagine if It'd have been best if Bruce died in his place while saving Jason. But then we'd be orphans. With the way he focuses more on his other children as he adopts more and more, maybe it'd be better if Jason and I were parentless. Although I'm a loner, I'd appreciate it if I wasn't so ignored. At least Alfred talks to me. I like Alfred, he's a nice man.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･࿔‧ ֶָ֢˚˖𐦍˖˚ֶָ֢ ‧࿔°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･

Years pass; I'm a young adult now. Apparently, I have a half-brother, Damian. He's... interesting. We don't talk much.

Damian and I have been getting along more as the months pass. I've let him warm up to me as one would a cat.

I'm twenty now, and I have a lot on my plate. All on my own doing. I love film, and I've been taking quite a few college classes (mostly online.)

Damian says my films need work lolol. I think he didn't want to seem soft, so he went with a more neutral aproach.

Damian... got kidnapped by the Joker. Same sort of building as Jason's kidnapping... ...

...

I...

I didn't think when doing what I did. No experience with fighting or weapons. I stole one of Bruces guns. I shot and killed Jokers minions and shot at the clown. I hope he doesn't wake up. I untied Damian and held his unconscious form in front of me as I drove my motorcycle back to the manor. I placed my helmet on his head. His body is covered in cuts and bruises. I feel ill.

I had Alfred do the stitching. I cleaned the wounds and the dirt off him with wipes. He's cleaned and bandaged up in the "infirmary." I dressed him in our matching pajamas and changed into mine after a warm shower.

Bruce is mad at me. I don't think he deserves to be upset at me for doing his job for him. I said some mean, but truthful things as he lectured me. I... think I still mean what I said. I don't know any more after some reflection. Diary... am I in the wrong? Am I in the wrong for saying -

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"What you did was incredibly reckless ___! You could've been injured or worse!!" "At least I did something! You like to play vigilante, always helping other people out but when it comes to your own children, blood or not, you leave us be! Did you seriously expect me to sit around and do nothing?! I'm not a child anymore, Bruce! I couldn't just sit around and do nothing... not a second time." ___ begins to tear up. She takes a deep breath and continues.

"To this day I wonder why you did nothing for Jason. I've excused your lack of action as you being afraid to see Jason's physical state. The bruises... wounds... I would be horrified if I were in your shoes. But he needed help. He needed you, and you weren't there for him. He died, and I blame you."

"___!"- "Don't you ___ me! He died because of your cowardice! I refuse to have a second brother of mine face the same fate! So yes, I grabbed some of your weapons, donned a mask, and went to save my brother. In the process I shot Jokers "goons" and shot the joker himself multiple times. I hope he does'nt wake up." "_"-

"DON'T INTERUPT ME! ... If he is dead, and you attempt or even dare succeed at bringing the Joker back to life, I will kill you myself. I will kill you, and I will bury you somewhere where no-one will find you. That way you can't be brought back. I'm going to run to the store and get some things for Damian. Be a good father for once and go comfort your son."

*comm line pings*

Dick: Hey, Timbo. How’s Paris?

Tim: Boring. Just a bunch of W.E meetings that B wanted me to attend like he couldn’t do it himself. He’s downstairs with Lucius. What’s going on?

Dick: Jay and Damian are overseeing Gotham and I’m in Blüd.

Tim: Who had the bright idea to let those two idiots go by themselves?

Dick: *snorting* We’re stretched thin.

Tim: So? We’ve been short-staffed and managed.

Dick: *grinning audibly* Ok ok, I thought it’d be funny. Let me add them.

*comm line pings*

Damian: *grunting* Catch, Hood.

Jason: *humming* Interesting. Very interesting. Looks like they have a couple big dogs on their roster *punching sound can be heard* Stay the fuck down, don’t get up. Tell B that I’ll look into it.

Tim: Seems like a pretty busy night in Gotham.

Damian: Drake, how is your business trip? I trust that you are learning much from Father.

Dick: Think again. I know for a fact that he's bored out of his mind and rather be back with us.

Jason: What's not to like about Paris? Baguettes. French women. Cigarettes.

Tim: It's a bunch of suits talking business and me agreeing with them even though I think they're a bunch of idiots. What's going on? Any new cases?

Damian: Just the typical petty crimes, stop looking at me like that, Hood. I am not entertaining that debate, we have to finish the cases Father left for us before he returns.

Dick: *cackling* Please involve us. I WANT TO KNOW THIS DEBATE.

Tim: *pleading* Please. Please. I will bring you back fucking souvenirs. Whatever you want. Please-I am fucking losing my mind here.

Jason: You can fly but you’re very slow OR you’re invisible but you smell to high hell. The closer people get to you, the stronger the smell is.

Damian: *disgusted* Good God. That is atrocious.

Tim: How slow? What’s the mileage I’m getting here?

Jason: 15. Actually-School zone speed limit.

Damian: *pondering* It would be the environmentally conscious decision.

Tim: Who cares about the environment? Have you seen gas prices? I’m trying to be conscious about my wallet.

Dick: *interrupting* And no perfume or cologne can change this?

Jason: Nope. None at all. Wear your stench with pride.

Damian: Are we just smelly when we are invisible? Or is this some chronic condition that follows us around regardless?

Tim: Does it matter? Someone with a good nose is going to find you.

Jason: The smell of doom and despair only applies when you’re invisible.

Damian: I am taking flight.

Dick: But you’re moving at the speed of a broken down Honda Civic!

Damian: *mortified* In comparison to emitting a stench so foul that people can acknowledge your presence despite having invisibility?

Tim: Flight. Hands down.

Jason: Basically you’re either Martian Manhunter or Wonderwoman.

Dick: Why would you pick him as a prime example? Cause he’s not from here? That’s so fucking racist.

Tim: *cackles*

Jason: What? No, dickhead. HE WAS THE FIRST ONE THAT I THOUGHT OF WHEN IT CAME TO INVISIBILITY.

Damian: It is okay, Hood. We all have biases. You may admit it, you are amongst family.

Jason: Shut up. If anyone has any biases, it’s Bruce. He’s fucking prejudice.

Tim: Against who? It sounds like you’re projecting.

Jason: I’m gonna project a bullet in you. He’s metaphobic. I’m telling you.

Dick: *laughing* HE’S WHAT? That’s not an actual term.

Jason: It should be. He constantly says all the time *lowers voice* “ No metas in Gotham!” That’s him being prejudicial against a whole protected class.

Damian: That’s not- *pondering* Wait-Why does Father not allow metahumans in Gotham? He works very closely with them on the Justice League.

Tim: I dunno. He’s just territorial.

Jason: Like some weird dom. In love with the infrastructure of this city.

Tim: *giggling* A DOM?

Dick: *sultry voice* Who does this city belong to?

Damian: Grayson-Let me patrol with you. I don’t like the energy Akhi is displaying right now.

Jason: *cackling* Come here, Damian. Let's gyrate on this rooftop together. *wheezing* He has that fucking lone wolf persona going on.

Damian: *agreeing* His fursona.

Tim: *muffling comm* No. I'm not speaking to anyone. I think you're hearing things. Alfred should check on you when we get back home.

Bruce: *in the background* I distinctively heard you say Dick's name. Make sure to tell him to properly update the patrol logs, he didn't do so last time and it is important to keep track of our every move-

Tim: Yeah-Yeah, I will-

Jason: YO-Tell B to bring me a souvenir. I love Paris.

Bruce: *in the background* You are speaking to them. It is quite sweet, I love that you are all getting along nicely.

Dick: Shut it, old man. You're in the middle of our debate.

Damian: No. That debate is finished, you were just talking about how Father is prejudice.

Bruce: *flustered* I-? What? I am not prejudice. Where is this coming from?

Tim: *cackling in the back* Stop, this is so mean. You're gonna confuse him.

Jason: You regularly tell people to get out of your city all the time. What's next, huh? THEY SHOULD GO BACK TO THEIR COUNTRIES? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY NEXT?

Damian: *wheezing wetly* Go back to their countries, please. I am going to pee.

Dick: This is the example you're setting for Damian?

Bruce: I would never tell anyone anything remotely close to what you're claiming!

Tim: You tell the supers to leave your city all the time.

Bruce: *stuttering* Because-I-We each have our territory! It isn't because of who they-

Jason: He's colonizing Gotham *giddy noises* Taking over the land.

Bruce: *pleading desperately* No- It's just a poor choice of words. I didn't mean it-

Damian: *serious* The colonizers never think of their consequences, just on their own selfish needs.

Tim: *slapping palms on table, laughing* FUCKING HELL. YOU GUYS SHOULD SEE HIS EXPRESSION.

Dick: Ashamed. You should be ashamed. It's okay, baby boy. Damian, I'll save you.

Damian: Do not touch me, Grayson.

Tim: Bruce is staring out the patio like he's going to jump.

Jason: It's the guilt eating him alive. The colonizer guilt.