#parentinghell

3 Things That Made Me Feel Grateful This Week

A seamless journey to Florida After our last holiday back in November, I was honestly so grateful that this journey went smoothly. I didn’t want the boys first long haul journey to be any more painful than it had to be. We got to the airport in plenty of time, we boarded on time & landed slightly early. They were a little tired and bored but that’s to be expected. I’m just hoping our journey…

Here we are, day 6, week 2, off we go… I am sure like me, seeing the end of last week, and reaching Friday was a relief, and it felt like you had fought and won a battle — its amazing how those 5 days dragged and all the emotions that were crammed in. And like me you took a deep breath yesterday evening at the thought of another week starting.

The weekend was actually surprisingly quite enjoyable, it did have a different vibe than the weekdays. We did some chilling out, trying to not live in our own filth (reserving that for weekdays!), and got fully dressed and made up — complete with gold eye shadow to go to the supermarket and just to drink strongbow and cook a roast dinner on Sunday.

Although all of the plans to actually tidy the house have gone out of the window, in one of our more positive moments we did excitedly say “Oooooh we can get all the jobs done that we never have time! Like sort out the wardrobes, clean the cupboards, organise our photos, such a positive!” but we have done absolutely fuck all, as that would eat into our eating, drinking and wandering around aimlessly time. Although Derek did actually spend 5 hours building lego on Sunday — he even let Seb play for an hour!

So this morning, and it was 10am when we all woke up so that does technically count as morning… We had a bit of a tense start, I have been giving the children immune defence vitamins, and thought I had more in the cupboard. I did not. And was on the last 1 vitamin. So it was time to pick the favourite child — and the other had a jelly tot placebo.

We firstly had a nature lesson and watered the pots of mud, we couldn’t actually find any seeds in the shops — but haven’t told the children. I really do think they need hope, anticipation and a nature project so we are going to go with it as character building. I am hoping that once the lockdown is finished I can transplant in the night a full grown plant and amaze the children!

Seb had maths on the agenda, and some tally chart pictogram style thingy, so after giving some thought of what we could use to graph in the absence of being able to speak to actual people we decided to log the weekends alcohol bin! It was a surprise to everyone that White Wine had won!

We then had a Coronavirus simulation using playmobile, showing the lockdown and trying to demonstrate keeping the house safe, and when going out keeping a distance. It all got a bit mad max and out of hand with a ram raid on the castle for loo roll and someone with coronavirus locked in a cage and beaten by a troll. #lifeskills

The days are getting shorter, as we wake up when we wake up, we finish when we want to finish, and we try and go with the flow in the middle — doing at least something of some educational value as and when the children (or us) feel like it. If this wasn’t lockdown we could probably market ourselves as a really poncey expensive Montessori school and do extremely well out of it!!

We have started to chill out and stop beating ourselves up over the shit we have not done, there is not much we can do, but what we can do is make it as less crap as possible, and if that means watching netflix, playing on tablets, drinking at 4pm — then so what!?!? You only live a coronavirus lock down once, make it enjoyable!! Treat it like a little holiday from life as it is all out of our control, apart from how we handle it within the 4 walls you are in.

Even famous people have started to get sick now, I do wonder if they are also on house party and are also feeling at times violated when a call comes through and they are all greasy and in a skanky bathrobe and the house is a tip.

In some ways we are more accessible than ever at the moment. Before the lockdown you would organise to meet people at set times and set places, and now everyone and anyone can dial into your house and life spontaneously at anytime, and work calls are video calls — so you have to spend ages thinking of where to leave the skype laptop to hide the filth, or at least have a metre square piece of tidy house somewhere. Far too much to think about.

Everyone is going a bit crazy at the moment in emotion, action, thought — sanity is being tested in all areas, I actually spent far too long today pondering why you never had a sausage salad, but you would have a ham salad, but to add a Cumberland into a Salad would be really bizarre.

And I need to check in with my parents more often, my father spent the weekend designing and making his own guillotine. I am not even joking. He sent a photo and I fear for the Gnome and also for my Mother.

Although it is quite an impressive bit of workmanship really!

Well we survived day 1, and day 2 started with Home Economics as mummy was too hungover from surviving day 1 to get up and make breakfast… But we survived! Mentally and physically! And I think we can ask no more really!

I think I can already predict/see a pattern starting in my new schedule, suppress the anxiety and panic and urge to scream until 3pm and then start the countdown to having a drink.

Firstly every day put the new bottles of Tonic water in the fridge and refill the ice cube trays ready for drink o clock.

Try to not check your multiple whats app groups too often and compare yourself to how other parents are doing it. As the cracks are starting to show with everyone… And you can guarantee if you are feeling like you may have a mental breakdown — then others are feeling it also, and they are mostly acting how they want to feel or what they want others to think they are feeling and doing. So do not depress yourself further at this stage by even pretending you have to pretend or compete if you cannot mentally cope, you have nothing to prove to anyone.

But we are all united and completely the same in that we are all just trying our best and doing our best — and 100% in that we are all aligned, and in this together. There is no manual for this shit, there is no precedent for this situation, the only experience we have to go on are for people maybe days or weeks ahead of us. They are our future…

Lockdown coronavirus future prediction

So yesterday, Day 1, I tried, I really did, and I have had reflection on the day… And it started so well with so much enthusiasm. We were ready for the Joe Wicks work out at 9am, and the children nearly did a whole 4 minutes before moaning. We then did maths, english, reading, writing, educational games, encouragement and even a bit of gardening. And then I realised it was only 11am and the children wanted lunch, we had gone through all of the stuff I had planned — and I was actually desperately praying to need a Poo just so I could sit in a room with a locked door alone for 5 minutes — albeit with the kids sat outside asking me how long I would be.

By 4pm I said through gritted teeth to my husband “Take them out. Please. I need just 30 minutes peace” and he replied “But we are on lockdown, I cannot take them out!” To which I responded through gritted teeth “We live in a sodding tiny village. Find. A. Fucking. Isolated. Field. JUST. GO. NOW” and he left looking a bit scared.

It is really hard for couples to be together, the whole dynamic of the house, work, jobs, life is on its head. And I know we are only hours into the lockdown, but we are on the “Coronavirus upward curve of irritation” here in the marital sense. My husband has already made the following comments “Wow I never realised or noticed your stomach digested food so loudly…” and also “Crikey, you swallow and yawn so loudly, its making me shudder, can you stop that?” Forget rising birth rates, Divorce and spousal violence is going to go through the roof!!

But anyway that was Day 1 in retrospect, and we are now on Day 2. The eldest is a super star and sticking to her schedule, the youngest two started at 11am (when I say started I mean I locked them in the garden on the trampoline in a sort of baby Thunderdome way) and they have ramped up the arguing to violence, even balloons on sticks had to be confiscated as god only knows what we would do if a trip was needed to A&E.

I made it into clothes just before lunchtime. It has helped being selective with information I have read about all of this, and going with humour, and finding friends who are on the same level of admittance that they are struggling with this mentally.

And it’s great the way life evolves, already my evening social calendars are filling up with whatsapp and video Quiz nights and wine bar style events. And it is bringing out the best in the community with everyone helping each other. There is indeed a positive in everything, we all just need to keep our chin up (or chins, in my case as I have already started on the kids Easter eggs and the Gym is shut).

I say that in a slightly hysterical clutching at straws way of course!

Anyone know of a nice hotel thats still open?!?

This afternoon we went on our once daily outing (I am sure it is advised that dogs go outside and exercise more…) paranoid about meeting anyone and 1) being judged for being out and 2) wondering how we were going to stop the children flinging themselves at friends and 3) Did we actually know how far 2 metres was visually and should we have bought a tape measure.

Simple pleasures, the children found a massive boggy swamp, so this afternoons lesson when we got back was learning how to get the washing machine going.

We were also worried about running out of guinea pig food so went picking dandelions — which as now as I type has occurred to me are probably covered in pesticides and dog piss, bloody distracted by virus and taking my eye off the ball for anything else!

We combined schooling with the walk and made them run around to work in PE as we were too hungover (adults, not the kids I hasten to add) at 9am to face Joe. And then made them spell everything we saw “Mud” “Grass” “Dirt” “Bird” “Dog Shit” , “rubbish”- all the stuff you find in English nature!

And that is Day 2 done. I have realised that as long as I lower my expectations then every day is a winner and reduces the panic and self loathing!