Blog Entry #5
Module 3: Perception Of Parents
I relate a lot on readings 8 because I do interact differently with my parents back then versus today. Especially now since social media distracts me a lot, usually when I get home from school Id be busy replying to messages or doing school works online, I don’t really listen to my parents, mostly my mom who nags me a lot and is vocal about everything.
If I look back, growing up I’d be more closer to my mom than my dad because I saw my dad more superior compared to my mom. My dad was also less empathetic so i couldn’t relate with him that much, I just obeyed him without answering back because I was scared if he got mad. My mom was more of a go-to-person for me. Everything I wanted and needed I’d ask permission from her first and yes she also was an authoritative figure in my life, but I could be more deviant around her. I can scream and cry when I don’t like what she’s making me do. But just like what the reading said, I never really thought of her actions as wrong. It never occurred to me that I could decide for myself and that I have a choice to say no. So when I do throw tantrums I thought of it as me being disobedient, that it’s my fault for not complying or what my mom likes to say “the devil is tempting you.”Â
Now everything is completely different. Back when I was scared of my dad and was not close to him, now I see his effort to reach out to me so I try to do so too even if its a little awkward. And to my mom even if we used to fight a lot back then even now, I see her as a strong human than a super hero.Â
I don’t remember emotionally when I started separating from my parents I think it was a long time ago maybe when I was 12 or older because of the separation of my parents and so I relied more on my siblings than to them at first. And then physically was separated with my parents during senior high because I learned how to commute and so I got to stay with my friends a lot on free days and during summer.Â
With the help of my friends, social media, siblings, and my cousins especially, I learned how to have some self assertion and say no to my parents because I know now I have a choice. Though sometimes my mom likes to twist words to make me do her bidding’s (like convince my dad to get back with her), I try to be firm with my decisions.
The separation of my parents was the key factor to not only my individuation but to my siblings also because it really showed the nature of my parents on who they are, their beliefs and mannerisms. When their raw self is showing, me and my siblings don’t think of them as god-like figures anymore but as regular human beings who experiences pain. I’ve rarely seen my mom cry as a child but as I grew older she started to open up to me about her sufferings and I do understand why she acts like she does. Same with my dad, on why he doesn’t like to talk to my mom, me and my siblings try to understand their background and from where their coming from. Right now, though my parents love story isn’t getting better, me and my siblings did at least grow more intimate with them both and we also like to talk about their situation, analyze their personalities and accept them for who they are if change is not possible.
