#parcelfarce

“Hi, I was just wondering when the website would be up and running so I can cancel an order?”

“Uh...I dunno.”

“Could I request cancellation over the phone please?”

“Uhhh not really.”

“Oh.”

“Okay bye.”

“Uhh bye???”

Some fuckass didn’t deliver my poster properly, so it’s ruined. I am so pissed off right now, even more so since I had to walk for a goddamn hour just to pick it up because they couldn’t deliver it to me properly. What a fucking waste of time and £45.

If any of you guys here want it, I’ll give it to you for nothing more than the postage costs it takes to get to you. If nobody claims it by the end of the coming week, it’s going in the trash. With such damage it’s utterly fucking useless to me.

This is the latest story in the UKMail saga, that has reached a temporary conclusion. It starts at the bottom!

Excuse the Photoshopping...

Logged on to the consumer Tracking site to find a 'Delayed' message and the 4th of August expected date again. No timeframe, of course, as it's not looking like anything happened. Nothing at all took place. When one thing goes wrong... it doesn't stop?

Fourth call to Customer Service, which took three redials to receive an answer where a new guy dispatched another employee to the depot to check the situation.

He took details of the laptop's physical characteristics and now I am still waiting for a callback, which although seemed promising, was not in any way helpful, as there was no callback. This is certainly not a 24 hour service.

Another call to Customer Service later in the day (my 5th outgoing one) with another representative revealed a few things:

Different departments handled my call so nobody knew what was going on - seems like bad organisation?

Apparently, the parcel only reached Exeter TEN MINUTES ago from 11am today. Do they even correlate info with their own tracking details, or are they misleading as well?

A search has been started of the Exeter warehouse to locate a parcel which was delivered without notification in the hope of delivery today.

At least it shows that these calls are noted so they have a record of my anger...but will anything happen? Find out next time on ParcelFarce!

It looks like 'Chris the Warehouse Scanner' has made another delivery warehouse scan at 12:45pm.

Nothing happened until 3:40pm, where another call to Customer Service (same guy as before) revealed that the parcel will be delivered...

on Monday, the 4th of August!

Wake up to tracking site stating the item arrived at the 'Delivery Location' (local depot) at 3:03am, meaning it should be in transit over the next few hours.

But wait. The Tracking site now states the 'expected delivery date' is the 1st of August, which is not as earlier noted, meaning the item is still not Out for Delivery - the usual way of saying "on its way".

A few hours later, the expected delivery date jumped to 4th of August, which is evidently longer than 24 hours(!)

I check the tracking number against the BusinessPost corporate tracking page as well; this is a company linked to UKMail and has the same tracking system, but with more details. This related site contains the following data on my item:

Collection Date: 31/07/2014 (what?) Del Service: Next Day (...!) Collecting Location: Huddersfield

Note those expressions of emphasis - a wrong collection date with this so-called 'Next Day' service!

Later in the day, Customer Services were called again - at 3pm. "All our agents are busy at this time; please wait" was interspersed with tinny music for a record 30 minute hold wait.

A female representative checks all the basic details again, and is unsure of issue. She dispatches an employee to the Exeter depot to follow-up after I provide her with my mobile number, but get no response after multiple hours.

Third call to Customer Services is placed after around 2 hours and 30 minutes, with a short 10 minute wait before speaking to a new female representative. (thank goodness for free call minutes!)

It appears that Huddersfield dispatch team delivered to the Exeter depot without notifying Exeter.

There is no chance of delivery tonight (31st), so the is delivery set for tomorrow (1st August), she says. This representative takes mobile number for callback to confirm this has been sorted.

The expected delivery date then updated to the 1st (again) on the tracking system, along with details confirming the weight and my personal details, which looks promising, right when the same representative actually calls back.

She states that I should receive a 1 hour timeframe tomorrow morning via the consumer Tracking site, as it's 'guaranteed' (quote) to arrive tomorrow.

The item was collected from the Huddersfield seller by the UKMail courier service on the 30th at 3:58pm, according to the consumer-facing Tracking site.

The update format was brief - no progress was displayed, which is always unusual for a delivery with such a small time window.

This led to the first Customer Service call around 4pm. Following a 15 minute wait on hold, a male call-centre employee checks the details and confirms that it's guaranteed to arrive tonight (on the 30th) or on the 31st, at the latest.

The story begins when I ordered a laptop from a top-rated eBay seller. An outlet firm for corporate IT products with 100% positive feedback and top-rated status - all good.

I opted to pay an additional £9.99 for '24 hour' courier delivery - it's always beneficial to avoid long waits. The company resides in Yorkshire and my order was to be shipped to a certain major city in the west of England.

In light of the usual circumstances, I acknowledged that it may take an additional day for processing after payment. Taking this into account, I noted that the parcel was supposed to arrive by the 31st August - at the latest.