#parallel polyamory

These are only the 3 styles in the middle. There are more extreme versions outside of all of these 3.

2.) hierarchal polyamory is valid.

3.) parallel polyamory is valid.

4.) non-hierarchal polyamory is valid

5.) kitchen table polycules are valid

6.) customizing your polyamory to suit everyone involved is valid

7.) monogamy is valid

I see a lot of posts aggressively advocating for one of these things, while in the same breath invalidating the rest of them. Let people structure their relationships with each other in their own mutual way. just because you’re not monogamous or have structured polyamory, it does not give you the right to invalidate or shame those structures of romantic love.

If all parties within a relationship dynamic are consenting and comfortable, then it’s nobody’s business.

Parallel Polyamory: The act of having multiple unconnected relationships.

This is the opposite, in a way, of Kitchen Table Polyamory, where polycules have intermingled lives. Because while some people prefer the "family" dynamic, others prefer each relationship to be a cleanly separate entity. 

Being in a polycule does not require being close friends with everyone within it. 

As long as everyone is acting openly and ethically, and there are at least some lines of communication in place, then keeping parallel relationships is perfectly healthy.

Parallel relationships are not, however, a way to ignore your partner's relationship if you are uncomfortable about them. 

Him: yeah, so my roommate is polyamorous. Have you ever heard of that? Do you know what that is? It means that she's dating a couple, Katie and Danny. But like, she doesn't really *really* like Katie, she's just in love with Danny, but she has to also date and have sex with Katie because that's their rule and when you're polyamorous you have to follow the couples rules. It's sad, she wants to date Danny but can't even sex alone with him.

Me: *quietly seething while listening to this* Listen here! *proceeds to go off on Unicorn Hunting and how unethical it is, and how hierarchy and following a couples' rules is bullshit, and that's not the only (or even a healthy) way to do polyamory, that his roommate should've been able to negotiate the terms of her own relationship without a power imbalance, and that she deserves to be in a relationship with someone who won't force her to make herself sexually/romantically available to someone else in order to date them*