Just woke up from a nightmare where I was reading a sonadow fic and then it morphed into a shadamy fic and then somehow I got like sucked into the fic like SATBK style and I got strapped down to a chair like in that Clockwork Orange scene with my eyelids stuck open and I had to watch the shadamy romance play out.
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Going to make Dr Crackpot experience the horrors by projecting my chronic pain onto him like everyone else does with their fav characters- I pulled like a million muscles at work the other day and forced myself to walk it off and I was like āyeah, heād probably do that. Heās got a reputation yāknow, god forbid he shows hindrance.ā
Maybe a little out of character but whatever, go my weird guy!!
Honestly, I feel like most Madness characters would just be.. in pain basically 24/7, especially later on, even if itās not debilitating. Imagine dying and coming back to life even just a few times, especially in gruesome ways where youād probably have to be sewn back together. I mean, I think about things like torn muscles and damaged nerves too, even if grunt anatomy isnāt the same as people, they still probably got those things theoretically.
Donāt even get me started on the possible impacts of dissonance exposure, excluding mental state, bc that oneās pretty obvious. Those would be more headcanon territory I think, bc I think of dissonance more as like an element on a periodic table for some reason, and boy do I love studying the impacts of element exposure!
She wants off Riverstarās Wild Ride. And can she unsee the horrors, while sheās at it?
I havenāt drawn cats in a good while, so she may look a bit scuffed, but oooh i had a fun time designing her. I took some inspiration for the face markings from @fishycatdesigns, and the body stripe wiggles are kinda supposed to look like water ripples! No idea if it came across at all, but the intentās in there somewhere!!
Now lets talk about those stitches because Oh My Iāve been thinking about them way more than any normal person should. The text never specifies if they are the kind that kinda dissolves(?) on their own, and cats continue to mention them way after the injuries are healed, so Iām inclined to think that they are permanent. Babygirl is just stuck with weird twoleg stuff in her neck.
(And are we going to forget that Frostpaw wanted to learn how to do stitches on her clanmates for a hot minute there??)
Quick note to my followers, readers, and fellow writers -- sorry I have been absent for so long, and havenāt had a chance to write anything new. Life has been incredibly busy lately, but hopefully Iāll get back into something other than constant work come summer. I miss writing stories. Hope everyone is hanging in there <3
I hate looking up things like āhow to upgrade laptop CPUā and every single response is just āyou canāt. idiot.ā well WHY NOT???? Oh āitās not compatible with the motherboardā likely story. Clearly no one has tried to ask the electronics very very nicely, because it always works for me. You guys are just a bunch of meanies
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As a trans man I love mpreg as long as itās not fetishized. I want kids in the future so seeing mpreg is like going oh hey! Another seahorse dad! I donāt get to see myself in media much. It makes me uncomfortable when people donāt separate the 2 mpreg can be fetishized but itās also a thing a lot of transgender afab go through. I know this is a sonadow account and itās not that deep lol but thanks itās cool seeing it :) saying that: more plz š„¹
This actually makes me feel so relieved bc another reason why Iām always hesitant to post pregnant Shadow is Iām worried that it can be seen as disrespectful or that if it might be used for fetishization purposes which isnāt really what Iād like my art to be associated with.
I donāt want to kink shame anyone, as an agender aroace person who does not experience any romantic or sexual desire whatsoever (i think? still learning about the different types of experiences within the aroace spectrum) I feel that I am literally the least qualified to talk about the morality behind mpreg as a kink/fetish.
With all that in mind, I do wanna say that I wish there was more transgender pregnancy representation that wasnāt just fetish. Like just googling āpregnancy symptomsā will give you a wide range of experiences, but when I was trying to look into if there were unique ways that pregnancy can effect trans men, it took a lot of digging so either Iām just stupid and canāt search things on the internet very well or there really isnāt a lot of representation of trans pregnancies.
Although I did recently learn that in the r/pregnancy subreddit, FTM does not in fact mean āFemale to Maleā and is actually just āFirst Time Momā which makes a lot of sense bc for awhile I thought half of the subreddit were just trans guys. Then I discovered there is literally a subreddit r/seahorse_dads and so I spent awhile just reading a bunch of posts in there.
Anyway Iām fine just existing in my own space with sonadow family fluff, but when I share it I get all nervous bc mpreg is cringefail or whatever and I donāt even know if itās cringe for being cringe or if itās cringe bc itās a fetish. Just know that whenever I post any art of any kind, I try to think as little as possible about how people will interpret my drawings, bc at the end of the day I just drew it because it made me happy and thinking about sonadow fluff gives me warm and fuzzy butterflies that I think people are supposed feel when theyāre in love but Iāve never experienced that for another person in my entire life and I donāt think Iāll be able to. So thinking about and drawing sonadow is probably the closest Iāll get to that feeling.
And it makes me even more happy when people say they genuinely connected with my art bc then I know that the warm and fuzzy butterflies feeling got through, and Iām just really glad we can all get our little serotonin boost from these stupid gay hedgehogs.
I genuinely donāt think any of this makes sense Iāve spent 3 hours trying to write a response to this ask and then I remembered that I got zero sleeps last night so thatās probably why brain no worky but in conclusion: thank you for the ask Anon it really made my day and Iām spiritually headbutting you like a cat as they say
might be a somewhat awkward question, so feel free to ignore, but how do you usually go about drawing stuff like kissing and cuddling? i would be curious to know your process, because you always manage to portray that stuff as incredibly soft and.. vulnerable? if that makes any ounce of sense. sorry if it doesnāt TvT
No youāre all good this isnāt an awkward question at all! Actually this is kind of a fun ask to answer bc I wanna know if any other people have similar experiences to how I draw lol.
First off, wanna say that thereās a one specific song Iāve listened to religiously for the past 3 years, and it's also the song I listen to most often while drawing sonadow. I feel like itās encompasses almost the entire range of human emotion while somehow also being able to match exactly to any single specific emotion on that range.
Typing this out now my feelings and experiences with the song might be a little biased because itās part of the OST for Signalis (which is such an underrated game and especially the soundtrack), but I feel like even if you havenāt played the game it can still give you this melancholic atmosphere. But really it feels likeā¦.I feel like there are words to describe what iām trying to say but I canāt think of any other than like, ⦠an āethereal comfortā.
Okay sorry about that ramble I just really wanted to give you some context and also I need more people to play Signalis. But anyway to answer your question:
My āCreativeā Process: featuring symptoms of autism and insomnia
I like that people use words like āsoftā, āintimateā, ātenderā in the replies and stuff of my art because (while that is the intention behind a lot of my art) it makes me think about the actual process that took place while I was drawing and if that in anyway impacts the viewer interpretation.
I might have talked about this before on my blog, but if so I canāt remember. So I wanna ask any other artists (or actually just people in general) if they do this too or if itās something Not Normal because it does concern me sometimes lol. Like itās probably not that uncommon, but Iāve just never seen anyone talk about this before:
I always (like 90%) fall asleep while I draw, itās never usually for long, sometimes I just doze off for like 5 minutes, but more often I get a lot of half-hour naps in. It most likely, probably, definitely, literally guarantee is because I do things that, maybe donāt encourage, but definitely make it easier to not stay awake. I listen to more calm music while drawing, all of my canvas templates absolutely cannot be white and instead have to be a warm color with both the saturation and brightness really toned down so itās like a comforting hazy-yellow. I also have all the lights turned off in my room, especially in the day, because I hate the light-reflection on my iPad screen while I draw.
I know I just listed all those things I do like they were intentional but I only just recently realized I do this because someone pointed out how my background colors are always like a soft-yellow which is apparently not common and I was like āoh yeah I guess youāre rightā.
So, to be honest, Iām not really sure how I do draw sonadow kissing and cuddling other thanā¦I just do? Iām sorry I know thatās not very helpful š Like, literally the only tip I can think of is ātry to be really eeby and neebies to sleebyā while drawing soft gay hedgehogs, 10/10 doctors highly recommend and another cool perk: no nightmares (at least so far, I always get warm and nice dreams š)
I definitely like to use references tho lol. Kids, if you run out of Heartstopper clips or any other cute kissing scenes in your favorite movies and shows, don't be embarrassed to go on Youtube and search āmakeout scenesā and watch almost all 300 videos in a playlist that definitely seems like it was created like a bot, because sometimes those are the only references youāre gonna get for kissing animations.
Well, I think that concludes this edition of Unnecessarily Long Dissertation Papers by Paracosm, thank you for the ask anon!!
OH ACTUALLY sorry for promoting another Spotify playlist but I made one specifically for Soft, Vulnerable, and Intimate Sonadow Vibesā¢ļø because as much as I love using my regular sonadow playlist I needed one for pillow and blanky time. Itās got The Red Gate and a lot of other songs with similar vibes so hereās that if you wanna listen :3
WAIT SORRY ALSO???? A friend said that my playlist is the most liked sonadow playlist on Spotify apparently š but I actually donāt know if thatās true Iām just surprised that people actually save it to their libraries (970 likes last time I checked I didnāt even know that many real human people were on Spotify) bc itās like a million hours long and there is no consistency at all like the music genres will switch from borderline-hyperpop MGNA Crrrta to soft instrumental OSTs to the loud unidentifiable noises of Neroās Day at Disneyland/Lauren Bousfieldās music.
Okay actually done talking now, I love answering asks because everyone is always so fucking nice and sweet I have teared up at times but because they make me feel so many things every time I sit down to answer one I probably use a good hour or two writing everything out and then quickly proofreading so that my one coworker that follows me on here wonāt bully me in public for being an idiot.
But seriously tho, feel free to send me any asks you might have, you are literally never bothering me I love reading you guysā messages šš!! I wish I had more time to answer all of them but just know I check my inbox at least once a week and try to read all the new ones. My goal is trying to answer at least one a day, which doesnāt always happen but at the end of the week I always make sure to put myself in a Saw trap to answer at least a couple š Seriously just thank you for all the support I feel like I donāt say it enough I love you guys and I love talking with you guys and I love how everyone here is so nice and we can all be cozy and enjoy our gay hedgehogs āŗļø