#para 004

Blaine

In the year and a half that Blaine had known Matt, he'd never seen him angry. Serious, occasionally. More subdued than usual, once in a blue moon. But never angry. So when Matt texted him that he needed to see him, and he'd seen someone that upset him, Blaine wasn't about to brush it off as no big deal. He'd started the bath water just a few minutes after Matt's last text, so it would still be warm but not too hot by the time his boyfriend arrived. There was a glass and three different bottles of wine laid out on the counter, and in a fit of impulsiveness, Blaine had dug out one of his old NYU sweatshirts -- it was deliberately oversized on him, so maybe it would fit Matt okay if he needed more than the bath and the wine. He'd just turned the water off when he heard a car door slam outside, and bolted to intercept Matt at the front doorstep.

Matt

Matt did his best not to white knuckle the steering wheel while he drove. Time and time again he's warn people about the dangers of driving angry; which could be just as dangerous as driving intoxicated. So he listened to some pop music, opting for a 90s playlist Spotify recommended. When he pulled into Blaine's driveway Hanson was on. If this was any normal day he'd probably hum the song all the way up to Blaine's door step and sang a few lines just to get it into his boyfriend's head. Instead he walked quietly, hands in both of his pockets and when Blaine's front door opened Matt's lips pressed together. He saw the worry on his face and knew it was because of the texts. He didn't want to do that to him, not when he loves his smile and just how vibrant he is; but you couldn't have sunshine all the time right? Matt went up to Blaine and tugged his hands out of his pockets and wrapped them around his guy's body and held him. His face nuzzled into his neck and Matt kept like this. Sometimes whenever he hugged this way Matt would kiss up Blaine's neck and inch him into the house and just fall into what comes naturally for them. But not today. "I saw Betsy." he said into Blaine's skin. "She didn't see me but I saw her."

Blaine

Blaine's arms went around Matt's shoulders reflexively, and his grip tightened when Matt only held on. Definitely something wrong, then, and how. "Betsy," Blaine echoed, searching his recent memory for why that sounded familiar. "Bets -- your ex?" he guessed, and the hollow feeling in his stomach expanded with a niggling sense of dread.

Matt

He nodded a couple times before he pulled back to look at him. "I shouldn't be this angry. I shouldn't let her get to me. It's been over ten years since she left but seeing her." Matt's hands remained on Blaine's waist, hands sore from the aggressive beatings he gave the bag at the station. Thankfully the gloves protected his hands but they still felt it. A hand went through Matt's hair, which was damp from sweat. "It's not like I'm still hung up on her but...." he sighed out, "fuck." He looked down at Blaine's chest. "Not exactly what you want to hear, huh?"

Blaine

"Hey," Blaine murmured, reaching up to cup Matt's face in both hands. He brushed his thumbs over Matt's cheeks before craning up for a featherlight, barely there kiss. "You're allowed to be angry. You're allowed to be upset seeing her without any warning after so long. You're even allowed to still be a little hung up on her," he added, swallowing around the lump in his throat. "You won't upset me by telling me when something's bothering you, though. I want to hear it, no matter what."

Matt

His eyes went to his as soon as Blaine’s hands pressed against his cheeks. Matt’s thumbs moved along Blaine’s soft shirt. It was after a few passing moments of quiet when Matt leaned in and pressed his forehead to his Blaine’s. “You know how hard it is for me to talk about what’s bothering me. And I’m trying to do that. I should have called as soon as I saw her but I didn’t want you to hear how angry I was.” Matt’s fingers curled, clinging onto Blaine. “I beat the shit out of a punching bag at the station’s gym and it helped some. But I knew I needed this. I needed you.” He then said, as if to drive this home, “I need you.”

Blaine

Blaine nodded his acknowledgement and kept his arms around Matt, fingers still occasionally stroking his cheeks. "You've got me, babe," he murmured, and gently tugged Matt inside and nudged the door closed behind him. He leaned their foreheads together for a long moment, just letting Matt breathe. "I'm right here, and there's a bath filled for you in my room, if you want it. Just let me know what else you need, and I'll do my best to give it to you."

Matt

What he wants is for Bets to go back to Atlanta or where she was before he came here. He knew that there had to be a reason behind her return but wasn’t sure if he actually cared to find out. Matt leaned against the back of the door and brought Blaine to him, kissing his lips at last. It was such a simple thing but feeling his lips against this boyfriend’s did help ground him slightly. “Bring that wine you mentioned and join me in the tub?” He asked, brushing his nose against Blaine’s.

Blaine

The corner of Blaine's mouth turned up just slightly, not quite a smile but still a little quirk of expression. "Okay,' he whispered, and kissed Matt back lightly before nudging him toward the master suite. "Add whatever bath salts you want. I promise not to judge you if it smells like rose petals or lavender."

Matt

He stood in front of the door and watched Blaine walk away. Why was he allowing Bets to get to him? It’d been over ten fucking years since she packed her shit and left him a voicemail. Did he still have that message? No. He deleted it a year after she left as a stupid part of him thought she’d come back and see how he’s doing. That she would give enough of a damn about him and if he managed to work through what happened that late night... He wasn’t aware of the fallen tears just then until he breathed and realized it was a little sniffly because of it. Matt went to the bathroom, aware of the layout to Blaine’s house now, and looked through what options there were. Matt decided on one that smelled of a type of mint, maybe spearmint, and sprinkled it in. It didn’t take long to undress and he slowly sank into the warm water, which felt good as soon as he was as submerged as he was going to go. Matt kept telling himself that maybe they should keep the conversation to what was said at the door. That he didn’t want to bring Blaine deeper into a place he had desperately tried to bury. But..but he didn’t know.

Blaine

Blaine took his time pulling out another wine glass and filling both of them. He didn't know much about the circumstances surrounding Matt's break-up with Betsy; just that things had been rough at the time, and she'd chosen to end it rather than work through them together, and that Matt hadn't really bothered with relationships since. Whatever happened must have been really traumatic, though, considering how quickly Matt had slid into the easy affection they already had together. How in the world had someone hurt him so badly that he'd locked that part of himself away for the better part of a decade? That he'd react this viscerally to just seeing her again? And how was Blaine supposed to deal with someone having that much of an impact on his boyfriend, even ten years later? He let himself into the bathroom quietly, setting the wine glasses down on the wide, curved edge of the tub. He quickly tugged off his own shirt, and then paused to brush a few stray locks of damp hair back from Matt's face with one hand. "How's the water? Not too hot?"

Matt

His hands went up and down his arms to wet them, but mostly to have something to do while he waited. Not that it took Blaine long it come into the bathroom with the wine. Matt watched as Blaine removed his shirt. That even while he felt this way he continued to find his boyfriend extremely attractive. And the way he touched his forehead: that affection he craved...he truly felt lucky. That the shit he went through with Bets was to bring if him to this man. “It’s perfect. I added this mint salts over there. So no lavender me. Don’t be too upset about that.” He teased, trying to bring some happy back in. “Get in between my legs, I want to hold you from behind.”

Blaine

Blaine quirked a lopsided smile at the teasing. “Lavender is to help you sleep. Mint is energizing. We can test how energizing later,” he fired back. He shed the rest of his clothing quickly and steadied himself against the wall with one hand before sinking into the water in front of Matt with a sigh. “Better?” he asked softly.

Matt

How could he be feeling so irritated and still manage to smile? It was easy with Blaine as he knew exactly how to pull one from him. Matt waited for him to get into the water and took hold of his wrist and pulled his boyfriend in for a kiss; taking his time with it before he moving him around until he was just how he needed him. Matt’s arms went around Blaine’s middle and his chin rested onto his shoulder before his cheek pressed against the side of his face. Matt’s hand skimmed the back of Blaine’s and  hugged him closer. As soon as he felt Blaine’s back against his chest he relaxed. “Now it is.” Matt’s eyes closed and he held him for some time before he decided to speak. “Betsy left me when I went into a bad depression after a fire. I had done a few calls that dealt with some heavy shit but that fire really messed me up. I don’t want to make her seem like the bad guy here because I was deep in this dark place for a long time. But when she left it made things worse.”

Blaine

Lulled by the scent of sharp mint and Matt's solid presence behind him, Blaine startled just a bit when Matt started to talk. He forced himself to relax quickly, though, and leaned back into Matt's embrace. "Depression isn't something you can control," he murmured. "And if you're already feeling isolated -- well." He'd had his own demons to battle in the past, first back in high school and then again just before he'd left New York. Considering the things Matt had to face with his job, though -- that had probably been a walk in the park, comparatively speaking. "It's a lot to deal with. Did she tell you that was why?"

Matt

The water did feel nice and the scent of the mint made him think of one of those mint teas he drank whenever he felt he was coming down with a cold not exactly sure how something like this would energize him. “It’s not and there was more to it. I started to see a therapist because the chief made sure I did after what happened but I didn’t keep with it. After a few months of feeling like shit and not wanting to do anything and finding purpose in everyday life I went back to see someone. A different therapist. We talked and I know it was hard for her. I could see it. And it was just a bad time. A bad, bad time in my life.” He said, trying to keep his voice from cracking but it was hard. “I was on a call. A fire. There was a fire involved.” He struggled with this and moved to press his mouth to Blaine’s neck because he didn’t know if he wanted to continue. “This father purposefully set fire to the house. Two little kids didn’t make it.”

Blaine

Blaine's reached back to thread his fingers through Matt's hair, the lump in his throat again. "God, that's awful," he breathed. "That someone could do something like--" He broke off, quiet for a moment with his hand still in Matt's hair. "You tried to save the kids," he said simply, his voice sad.

Matt

“This job can isn’t easy. I knew it wouldn’t be and that wasn’t my first fatality.” He moved his lips away from Blaine’s neck and squeezed him a little tighter. “It was my first time seeing it happen in front of me. These two little kids. They were-“ Matt’s lips pressed together and he felt water beads roll down from his upper lip. “There is a lot to all of this and I struggle to this day. I probably will for the rest of my life.” Matt’s eyes burned and he tried to blink it away. “I’m worried that the same thing will happen. That I’ll get in a bad place and you’ll do what Bets did. And I know I can’t be mad at you. Just like as angry as I feel at what she did I understand. I had to because I needed to stop hating myself after so long.” He was all over the place with this and felt he didn’t make much sense.

Blaine

"Oh my god," Blaine murmured, quietly horrified. His fingers loosened their grip on Matt's hair just enough to slide down and cup the back of his head, tucking his face next to Blaine's, and he turned his face to press their cheeks together blindly. Two children. In a fire set by their father. And Matt had to witness that, and not be able to stop it. No wonder he tried so hard to help everyone with everything -- it was like it was penance, of a sort. "I can't promise things won't get bad again, and you have no idea how much I wish I could," Blaine said softly. "But -- things are good now, right? I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. And if you find yourself struggling again -- I know you don't like talking about it, but I want to help."

Matt

Matt’s lips went against Blaine’s shoulder and knew this was part of the life he wanted to keep his boyfriend from hearing about. “I know. There is a lot about the whole situation that still continues to this day. I’ve kept in touch with their mom. I see her every once in awhile.” He moved closer to his guy and found some comfort with his touch. “Yeah. Things are good. Better mostly. Having Bets show up like that threw me off. And the thing is I know I’ll reach out to her and make sure things are good. I imagine you’ll run into her at some point. She’s not a bad person. How she handled things at the end fucking sucked but I had to place myself in her shoes. It was hard.” Matt kissed along his skin and pressed his mouth on Blaine’s pulse point. He didn’t say anything right then but in that moment with Blaine he felt the urge to say what flitted across his mind. To say he loves him but that wasn’t the right time. “I’ll do my best, baby. I’ve spent years swallowing my true feelings that make me feel like shit. But I’ll try.”

Blaine

Blaine nodded, numb with the shock of it all. While he could understand staying in touch with the children's mother, that almost made it worse -- an open wound that never healed, and it was always a fresh reminder of what Matt clearly saw as a failure. And then seeing Betsy -- another reminder of a time that seemed to be extraordinarily painful. For so many reasons, apparently. The press of Matt's mouth against his throat made Blaine shiver, but he needed to make sure Matt was listening. He shifted just enough to turn his head to face Matt directly, craning his neck to look him squarely in the eye. "You are not an awful person," Blaine said firmly. "That was a terrible thing that happened, and the toll it took on your relationship was tragic. But when you start to hate yourself or feel like shit -- I need to know, so I can tell you that it's not true." He ran his fingers across Matt's cheek lightly. "If the roles were reversed, and it was me swallowing down every bad thing I thought about myself -- which I've done plenty of, believe me -- would you want to know?"

Matt

When Blaine turned to look at him better Matt helped him around and he slid back and pulled at his guy to slid up onto his wet chest. The water sloshed lazily along the tub’s edge. Now he could look at Blaine while he talked. But now Blaine could see how red his eyes were. “The thing is yes. I’d want you to tell me.” His voice went low when he spoke. “I spent many years keeping people away. It was easy to joke and sleep around. Then you come along and I want you to be in my life. And to have you see this side of it...” his wet fingers went through Blaine’s curls. “This relationship means a lot to me.”

Blaine

Blaine looped one arm around Matt's shoulders and pressed their foreheads together. "Me too," he said softly. "I want to be in your life -- all sides of it. You just have to let me," he added. Such a simple thing, but he was starting to realize just how difficult that might be for Matt. And if he had to remind him sometimes, or nudge him into talking when things got rough -- or even push, something Blaine had been trying very hard not to do this time around-- Maybe it would all be worth it.

Matt

“I really am trying, Blaine. I want so much for what we have to keep going. You might think I’m crazy or just saying whatever out of my ass but when I talk about you or us. When I say how crazy I am about you. It’s the God’s honest truth. That’s why I’ll try. Because I l-“ There was a noticeable pause here but Matt watched the word and said, “like you so damn much.” His hands smoothed down his back and was soon swallowed by the warm water. “After those little kids died the father was put on trial and has been in prison since. He’s up for parole next year and Sheila thinks there’s a good chance he’ll be denied it.” Matt chewed his bottom lip, clearly hesitant. He’s already said a lot to Blaine tonight. He didn’t want to go into how he’s been to the prison to ask him why he did it. Or how the man didn’t give a shit and was more upset he didn’t kill his now ex wife and other daughter. “I like hearing you want to be in all sides of my life. And I guess I should tell you if I’m a little more...on? I guess on is the best word to describe it or just wanting to avoid talking altogether and just want to fuck you. Not like usual.” He chuckled a little at this. “You’ll know what I mean if it happens. It’s because something went down and I’m doing my bury it deep under thing.”

Blaine

"I know you are," Blaine murmured, flushing at Matt's reassurances. He'd be lying to himself if he said it wasn't what he wanted to hear, especially with Matt's ex back in the picture again. He trailed one hand through the water until he found Matt's and laced their fingers together, pulling his hand up to kiss the back of it lightly. "When he comes up for parole, we'll deal with it together," he insisted. Blaine filed away that admission for future reference, quietly relieved for the heads up so he wouldn't be caught off guard. "I'll keep an eye out. Not that I usually object to your one-track mind -- but I'd rather you talk to me and then pin me up against a wall somewhere."

Matt

“I didn’t expect to have someone with me who wants to face that day with me. Sheila has her family and there are a couple of the guys who were around when that fire happened but as far as people at work know I don’t think about that fire or family anymore.” As Blaine kissed his hand Matt’s eyes slid closed for a moment. It felt nice for them to be like this; sharing a tub and talking. They will need to do this again but when it’s happier topics of conversation. “It does feel good you know about what happened. There have been others. I hate there have been, but nothing like that night. And the thing is I love this work. It gives me a feeling of purpose and those times we help someone makes it worth it. I know it’s early on in our relationship so I hate to make you feel as if you’re tied to me or you’ll be afraid to end things if you can’t handle this. Or you stop finding me attractive or whatever reason that comes up.” Why was he saying these things? There was a tightness in his stomach because he didn’t want to think of this not working out. “I’m saying I don’t want you to feel you’re stuck with me.”

Blaine

“You can’t go through that alone,” Blaine protested, mildly appalled. “Even if it’s just being ready with a hug and a hot meal at the end of the day.” His forehead creased a little the more Matt insisted he didn’t have to stay in this; like he was going to walk away now, knowing just how much of himself Matt had sunk into his work. “Hey,” Blaine ducked his head to catch Matt’s eye deliberately. “I’m not stuck with you, Matt Schuester. Is it scary, knowing the kinds of things you have to face at work? Of course. But I already care about you, and that isn’t the sort of thing that you just — turn off, when things get scary. I’d rather be scared with you than have to watch you go through everything from a distance and not be able to help.” He quirked another little half smile at Matt. “Besides, if I still find you attractive after months of terrible pick-up lines, chances are that’s not gonna change any time soon.”

Matt

Matt had fallen into such a bad mindset ever since that afternoon; as if those ten years since Betsy left never happened. He knew there were changes. Awesome changes. He knew of the man on top of him and the impact he had on his life over the last year and a half. He knew he was terrified that telling him he’s free to end things if it was too much terrified him. But to hear his assurances; to know he wasn’t alone in this and that he cared... that he basically was here to be with him and actually learn of the man Matt desperately tried to hide. It...it...”Im sorry.” He said, doing his best to look Blaine in the eyes but failing as they dropped; along with a few tears. Matt sniffed a few times and brought the side of his hand up to his eyes to get rid of the tears; not that it did much good because he was actually crying in front of him. “It just- it feels like you just nudged this large rock that’s on my chest and I feel relieved.” He tried to explain. “I care a fucking lot about you, too. So much that that’s why I said you don’t have to stay. But you wanting to be in this. With me. I-“ he rambled, trying to smile but he bit his lower lip instead as he looked away; struggling to get a hold of himself.

Blaine

Seeing Matt in such distress was unsettling, to say the least, and Blaine felt helpless to do anything to make it better. He reached up to cup Matt’s face with one hand, brushing away tears with his thumb. “Absolutely nothing you’ve told me today changes how I feel,” Blaine said softly. “It changes how I might approach things, and how we move forward together. But it doesn’t change how I feel about you. You’re still a good man, who makes me laugh and is kind of an idiot sometimes,” he said with a lopsided little smile. “I told you before that you make me feel seen and important — but that goes both ways, and I want to make you feel that way, too.”

Matt

He felt like an idiot for crying. It was something he did alone and usually after he’s been drinking. A lot. Matt wished he hadn’t done that in front of Blaine; that he just told him that he didn’t want him to feel like he needed to continue this relationship because he’s a fucking mess. But, somehow, Blaine managed to cut through those negative thoughts and Matt looked at him. He could have joked back, saying he’s not an idiot or follow through and say something ill timed an inappropriate. But he didn’t. A wet hand went to the back of Blaine’s neck and that urge to say those three special words resurfaced. How can you not love a man like Blaine Devon Anderson? Seriously. And Matt knew he was lucky he wanted to be with him; that he wanted to be there for him and not just see him but go through whatever shit he went through together. “Guess you now know what I look like when I cry...” he said as he tried to shift some of the subject away from all of this. Matt sniffled again and cleared his throat as he leaned forward, kissing his boyfriend. The kiss lingered and he played a hand over Blaine’s so it stayed on his cheek. “There was a long time when I felt I didn’t deserve anything good in my life but then you came along. You came along and made actually look forward to the future. That each day I saw you, whenever I told you some silly pick up line or joke was something special because it made my heart and soul feel good. Happy.”

Blaine

"You know what isn't fair? You look better when you cry, it's really hot," Blaine insisted, biting his lip on a smile. He leaned into the kiss a little, stroking his thumb over Matt's cheek. "I'm only half kidding. I will not judge you one bit if you feel something strongly enough for tears. Give me -- a month, tops, and you'll probably know what I look like when I cry, too." He had his own demons to share, after all; it was neither the time nor the place, since this was about Matt and what he needed right now, but if Matt was brave enough to share the ugly parts of his past, Blaine could be too. The thought terrified him -- that insistent little voice in the back of his head whispered that any weakness (anything less than perfect) would make Matt leave -- but if they were in this, they were IN this. No holding back. "You deserve so many good things in your life," Blaine murmured softly. "If cheesy pick up lines and dad jokes make your heart and soul happy -- well, then I'll laugh at every single one, and only roll my eyes occasionally."

Matt

“So in a month the both of us will be sobbing messes in front of each other? I suppose that’s one way to celebrate an anniversary.” Matt gave Blaine a lopsided smile and remembered there was wine for them. Both glasses untouched. “The truth is it’s your reaction that keeps me making them. That’s why I plan to keep them going until you duct tape my mouth shut. I prefer you kissing me when I’m being too much but then you’ll never get any work done and people will wonder where you are all the time.” Matt let out a long exhale and licked his lips. “Thank you for all of this. The tub. Listening to me. The wine we haven’t touched. I’ll treat you to a very nice dinner Saturday. Who knows, I might bring my own guitar and serenade you this time.” His wet fingers went through Blaine’s hair again, which started to curl from the steam of the water and how many times Matt’s wet hand passed through his hair. “I just remembered...I might be seeing Cooper tonight. Fuck. I don’t want to bail if he wants to meet up.”

Blaine

"Hey, at least it'll be memorable," Blaine teased. "I think I like having the option of shutting you up with a kiss a little too much, though," he added, dragging his index finger across Matt's mouth before leaning in to kiss him lightly. He kept his eyes closed for a moment, silently enjoying the feel of fingers threading through his hair. "I'll hold you to that. Unless you're singing 'Cotton Eyed Joe'. Then I might hide your guitar." The reminder of Cooper -- not exactly where he wanted to be reminded of his brother, but oh well -- made Blaine grimace slightly. "Do you want me to text him that you can't make it? I'm not above telling him you're sick."

Matt

Matt chuckled at that. Blaine’s knack for shining optimism on just about anything came through and it lessened the panic he felt from before. Would he ever grow past the abandonment issues that stemmed from Betsy leaving? Was it even considered abandonment? He wasn’t a shrink and could barely make sense of what’s in his head most days. “Fine. I’ll save that one for Valentine’s.” Matt joked back. “Do we even have a song? Sure, there are ones that come on and I start to think about you but is there one that’s very...Blatt?” Okay, now this causes a laugh to surface and moments later he intentionally scooped water up and dribbled it onto Blaine’s hair before leaning in to kiss his lips; his wet hand against the back of Blaine’s to keep him from pulling away. “No...” he said, forehead against his after the kiss and leaned back. Matt picked up the wine glass for the first time and took a sip. “I feel we need this. He’s got this impression about me or something. I could feel it when I was at Kat’s. And I know I don’t have to get him to like me but it’s important to me to at least try.”

Blaine

“You and that weird, off-kilter romantic streak,” Blaine said wryly. “I’m sure we could come up with a song, provided we each have veto power. And now I’m curious what songs remind you of me.” He spluttered indignantly, partly from the water poured over his head and partly from the ill-advised smushing together of their names – Blatt? Really? – and nearly scooped up his own handful of water to retaliate before he thought better of it. Spending the rest of the evening cleaning his bathroom was not high on Blaine’s list of priorities right now, and it turned out that Matt was better at distracting him than he’d realized, as Blaine leaned into the kiss. “If it gets to be too much and you need me to fake an emergency, just text me,” he insisted. On a normal day it wouldn’t worry him so much, having Coop and Matt get a drink together – but after the afternoon Matt had had, Blaine was a little hesitant to let him out of his sight period, much less for anything stressful. “I may have to come up with some way to bribe you into coming back here after you two are done, though. I’m sure I’ll think of something,” he added airily.

Matt

“Doesn’t it come down to the thought? That the thought counts? What if I’m able to slow the song down and play it differently. Who knows, maybe Cotton Eye Joe will be that one song I sing that makes you cry.” Sometimes Matt’s mind vacated his body and his mouth would run on and on. This was one of those moments. Which he needed because his stomach felt ill from the anxiety and anger. “I’ll send them your way whenever I hear them. Better yet, I’ll put it on a playlist. We can make out to it.” His hand went down Blaine’s back and soon gave his ass cheek a playful squeeze. “It’s like I feel like he and I are getting along okay but then he says shit that makes it like I’m still in time out. I don’t know if this is a big brother thing or because of me running my imagination like I sometimes do. Or because he wasn’t kept in the loop about us.” His hand went to Blaine’s back, the water covering then back of most of his hand. “What if he never warms up to me? He could keep making comments or be weird when I’m around and I hate for that to make things awkward because I intend to be a part of your life until you kick me out of it.” He sunk back into the water again. “Jesus. My confidence in myself is all over the fucking place.” Matt wondered if he should call it a night and stay here.

Blaine

"I'm still using my veto on Cotton Eye Joe, no matter how much you slow it down," Blaine said, amused in spite of himself. "You should definitely send me any songs you come across, though. I reserve judgement on make outs until I hear them, but anything's possible." He tilted his head a little to catch Matt's eye again. "Hey. I grew up with Cooper and I still feel like that sometimes. Like -- I'll never quite measure up to the Anderson golden boy. In my better moments I know he doesn't mean it that way, but Coop's opinion isn't the one that matters, and isn't going to change my mind." He cupped Matt's cheek with a pat. "Come back here after drinks. I'll make sure your confidence gets a boost, no matter how it goes with Cooper."

Matt

“Fine. Dream crusher. It’s a good thing I find you adorable and sexy or I’ll keep going with that song. But-“ he sighs and doing nothing to hide his smile, “there’s a whole world of bad songs out there. You make wake up to me singing a slowed down version of Whooly Bully or some Kesha song.” Matt slowly started to sit up and eased Blaine off him. They’d been in the water awhile and he could tell his fingers and toes were heading towards prune territory. “Our playlist won’t have those songs. They’ll be completely woo worthy. Just you wait. You’ll listen to a few and then make it your mission to track me down. Then all the kisses will be mine.” Goddamn this idiot, but there was no way he’ll censor himself because why be with someone if you can’t let your full dorkiness side out? “Then we’ll have to see how things go but I’ll come back here. Not just for the promised boost but because I like when we’re able to sleep together. I’m not talking about the sex, which you know I’m a big fan of. But actually falling asleep with you.” Be leaned forward and kissed his damp forehead and then reached down for his lips. “Things with Betsy might have sucked. Really sucked, but what you and I have? It makes going though that shit because I really like what we have and I can’t wait to see how we grow as a couple.”

Blaine

Sam was a little nervous as he approached Mercedes’ locker. He was finally going to ask her out after almost two years of wanting to. He’d broken up with Quinn over a year ago, and though it had been pretty mutual and they’d remained friends, he hadn’t wanted to jump to asking Mercedes out. For one, she was also friends with Quinn, and he didn’t think it was cool for him to just hit on her. For another, she was still his best friend outside of Blaine, and he wasn’t sure she even liked him. But Quinn had started hooking up with Puck a few months ago, and Sam thought she probably wouldn’t care if he asked out Mercedes. So now he was.

Mercedes was having one of those days where everything seemed to go badly. She hadn’t done well on her math quiz, which meant she’d have to really work hard to get her average up. Everyone was talking about Valentine’s Day, which didn’t help her day get any better, and now, her favorite Storm magnet had fallen and slipped underneath the lockers, never to be seen again. She let out a sigh and contemplated just going back home and sleeping off these blues.  She looked up and seen Sam walking over, and it made her smile a little, despite her bad day.  “Please tell me you’re having a better day than me,” she said to him.

He'd been practicing what he wanted to say to Mercedes as he approached. He was happy but even more nervous when he saw her standing there. He'd opened his mouth to greet her, but then she was speaking. It brought him up short. “Uh...oh, are you having a bad day?” he asked, his hopes immediately dashed. He didn't want to ask her, have it be weird, and make her day even worse. “What's wrong?”

“I suck at math, I lost my fave Storm magnet, and Valentine’s Day is coming up and I feel like blech about it, but I don’t want to make anyone else feel bad if they’re happy.” She sighed. “I don’t even know if that made sense.” She looked at his face and tilted her head. “Is everything okay? You look like you have something on your mind.” Sam was her closest guy friend, and they had hung out a lot over the past few years, so she could usually read his face and know if something was up.

Did she hate Valentine’s Day? Had he missed that? He was starting to feel a little panicked. “You don’t suck at math. You’re so smart, and I’m sorry you lost your Storm magnet. Where did it go?” He looked around on the floor but didn’t see anything. “Nothing’s on my mind. Just...it’s nothing.” There was no way he could ask her out now. He was freaking out.

She pointed at the small line where the lockers met the floor. “It got sucked into the void.” She switched out a few books, her attention back on him again. “Sam,” she wrinkled up her nose as she said his name in a soft, sing-song tone.  “Seriously, what’s going on? You don’t have to give me the big brother face, I’ll be fine. You know I struggle with math sometimes.” Which was true, math had always been her struggle class. He really was giving her the face he gave the twins whenever they were needing a pep talk, it was a very cute face.  But it was Sam, every face was ridiculously cute.  And she didn’t hate Valentine’s Day, she just wished that for once she’d actually have a valentine.  The fun thing to look forward too now was that Sam’s birthday was the day after, so there would at least be fun times with him and the twins.

Sam shook his head. “I’m not giving you big brother fce. I don’t even know what that means,” he countered. “Do you want me to Hulk-smash the lockers so you can get it back?” He flexed his muscles and furrowed his brow. “Hulk-smash locker for pretty girl get magnet,” he said in his Hulk tone.

Mercedes started to giggle so hard she had to cover her mouth before she did the laughing snort thing that she hated.  She loved Sam’s voices, he was so good at them, and this one was no exception. “Oh my...I needed that laugh.” She didn’t feel so moody and defeated anymore.  “You always make me smile, Sam, thank you.”  She gave him a quick hug of appreciation.  “Also, no Hulk-smashing the lockers. Even the Hulk can get detention for damaging school property,” she grinned.

“Worth it it will be,” Sam said, switching to his Yoda impression. “I’m glad I made you laugh. I hope it made your day better,” he spoke softly, looking into her eyes a moment. He really loved when she laughed. It made him feel like a king, and the hug she gave him, socked him in the gut. He just really liked her. He wanted to ask her out, but he was really worried that it just wasn’t a good time.

“You always make my day better,” she smiled as she nudged him gently.  It was ridiculous how this gorgeous, sweet, and dorky guy was her best friend.  Did she have a crush, maybe? But she was a pro at keeping that out of her mind.  Mercedes Jones was the queen of secret crushes.  “So, are you going to tell me what you were thinking about earlier? Am I going to have to go Chun-Li on someone? Because you know I will.”

It made him feel even better that he always made her day better, and he could help the grin that widened across his face. “It’s nothing like that. Like no one did anything. I was just kind of thinking about something. I’m good,” he assured her. They were having such a good moment he didn’t want to ruin it.

“Okay.  But you know you can talk to me about anything, right?” She closed her locker and then shifted her books to her other arm.  “Wizard Con is just a few months away, I’m sure I’ll find another Storm magnet, I think I just felt a little funky about the C on my math quiz.”  She was feeling more positive now that Sam had come along, he had the effect on her.

“I just like a girl...I don’t know if she likes me back. I was gonna ask her out, but now I don’t know,” he answered, just so she wouldn’t think something was really wrong. “We’ll make sure you get a new awesome Storm magnet, and you’ll do better on the next quiz.”

She gasped softly. “Sam Evans, how did I not know you’re crushing on someone?  Look, if she has any sense at all she will be completely honored and thrilled to be asked out by one of the hottest, funniest, sweetest, and talented guys at this school.” She replied with honesty. “I can do recon if you want, chat her up and scope out her response before you ask?  I’m your friend, I can be your wingwoman.”  She was completely behind Sam dating. The thing with him and Quinn didn’t last long, even though they made a visually stunning couple.  Sam was too awesome a guy to not have a girlfriend.  She had clearly forgotten about math quizzes and magnets now with this new mystery girl on topic.

Sam paused. He hadn’t expected her to get that interested in his “crush.” Now he wasn’t sure what to do. “Um...no, I don’t think you should ask her,” he said quickly. It wasn’t like she could just ask herself. “Um...she probably doesn’t like me. It’s okay. I’m fine with it.”

He was acting, weird, but maybe he just didn’t want to talk about it with her, so she decided to let that subject drop.  “Oh...okay. So are you excited about your birthday?” She asked with a grin.  She had bought his present before Christmas, and then she had taken the twins to get his gifts last month.  Shopping with those two had wore her out!

Nodding, Sam smiled. “Can’t believe I’m about to be seventeen. That’s crazy. Are you still coming over to celebrate?” he asked. Even if she wasn’t his girlfriend, he still wanted to spend his birthday with her. “I think the rule is that you have to let me beat you on my birthday. It’s a must.”

“Of course I’m going to be there.  If I thought I wouldn’t get grounded by my parents and yours, I’d pillow smack you at exactly midnight just to wish you a happy birthday,” she smirked. Her eyebrow raised with amusement as she listened to him make his case for letting him win at a game.  “But it’s so fun to see you pout when I beat you!”

“Well, are you going to Sugar’s Valentine’s party? You’ll probably see me at midnight. I’ll let you spank me if you want,” he joked, winking at her. He wondered if she ever thought it was weird that she was the only person he wanted to spend his birthday with besides Blaine.

She shook her head. “Everyone that’s going is either coupled up or going to hook up, I’d be the biggest third wheel ever.  I might come just so I’m not the only one that didn’t at least make an appearance, and I mean, you’re offering up a birthday spanking as incentive.” She laughed softly, covering up the fact that the idea of her smacking his butt had made her face flush with warmth.

Sam nodded. He’d wanted Mercedes to be his date so that they could be coupled up, but he didn’t think she’d want that. “Well, I’ll be there single to, you know…” he said slowly. “I...wanted to ask the girl I liked, but, again, that’s not gonna work out….but I did want to know if you like just hate Valentine’s Day or…?”

She shook her head. “No, I don’t hate it. I’m just kinda bummed that I never have a valentine. You see all the flowers, balloons, stuffed animals and cute stuff, and it’s never for you.  Ugh, I sound so pitiful, sorry.”  She turned to look at him.  “Don’t give up on that girl, okay?  She may like you and think she doesn’t have a shot, so she doesn’t say anything.”  She had no idea who she was, but she was really lucky to have Sam interested in her, even if she was clueless.

Her words gave him an idea, and he felt a lot more confident about maybe having a shot with her. “Yeah, I won’t, but hey, I need to head to the store. I’ll see you tomorrow in front of the lockers. Just...meet me here before class, okay?”

“Uhm...okay,” she wasn’t sure which one of them was having the most off day.  His mind was clearly somewhere else at the moment  “See you tomorrow.”

---

Sam had gone immediately to the stores after school, picking up various items to enact his plan. He arrived early the next day and got to work on her locker. She’d given him her combination once, and he’d used it to break in, filling it with chocolate, flowers, and a teddy bear. Then he taped the hand drawn card he’d made to the door. The last thing he needed to do was secure the balloons to her locker, and then he was done. He hadn’t been able to say it the day before, but he was going to ask her today.

Mercedes was humming softly to herself as she made her way down the hall to her locker.  She could see some balloons and could feel herself already wanting to roll her eyes.  That was until she began to get closer, and realized they were on her locker.  She actually just stood there for a moment, wondering if someone had gotten the wrong locker number.  The very cute card on the locker door confused her even more because the art style seemed very familiar. She carefully opened her locker, not wanting to mess up someone’s well thought out surprise, even though they got the locker number wrong.  But once she did, she could no longer say there was a mistake as she came face to face with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a teddy bear, and candy.  She was stunned to say the least, standing there in awe as she looked at everything.

He walked over across the hall just out of sight so that he could watch her reaction when she saw all of the things he’d done. She looked genuinely surprised, and it made no sense to him that no one had done this for her before. He needed to ask her out. He wanted to be with her so badly, more than he’d wanted to be with anyone. He just needed to do it. It had been like almost two years since they’d met, and he’d liked her for forever. He just needed to man up and do it. He took a deep breath and walked over to where her locker was and smiled. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said with a large grin.

She looked at Sam slowly, then looked back at her locker before looking at him again. “You did this?” She whispered in disbelief, the look on her face still showing surprise.  Sam Evans doing something like this was not surprising, he was a very all in kind of guy, and she loved that about him.  But she just didn’t get why he did this for her.  Sure, she got stuff from her parents and brother, but as close to her as Sam was, he wasn’t obligated like family.

Nodding, Sam leaned against the lockers. “Yeah, I did. I just...you said no one’s ever done this for you, and that doesn’t make any sense to be me because you’re just so funny and nice and beautiful…” He was just kind of word-vomiting all over the place because he was nervous. He took another breath and tried it again. “I wanted to do this because...I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you how I feel and ask you out for like...months now. So, I probably went a little crazy, but I didn’t know how else to show you how I feel.”

Mercedes eyes were already wide, but the more Sam talked, the wider they got.  Her lips opened slightly as she began to actually process what he was saying to her, how he was saying it to her.  He was rambling, which he only did if he was really excited or really nervous. Was she the girl he had been talking about yesterday? That...no way! She slowly stepped a little closer, her voice not able to go much higher than a whisper. She was worried that if she spoke in her normal tone that it would break the dream she was obviously having at the moment. “You want to go out with me? Like, an actual date? Or do you mean just hanging out as friends? Which we do all the time anyway.”  Clearly it was her turn to babble.

“I want to go out with you like an actual date. I wanted to ask you to go to Sugar’s party, but then you said you didn’t want to go,” Sam replied, his body warming as she stepped closer. Was she gonna kiss him? He wasn’t sure he was prepared for that, but he wouldn’t turn it down either. “I’ve liked you as more than a friend since...probably the first day I met you,” he admitted then felt really exposed. “It’s cool if you don’t feel the same,” he quickly added. Though he’d feel like a complete moron if she didn’t.

“I don’t want to go by myself,” she softly corrected him.  “If someone asked me, especially my best friend who is clearly the sweetest guy on the planet because he turned my locker into a Valentine’s explosion of awesome, I’d want to go.” She felt like her heart was beating inside her eardrums.  “I’ve always been worried that you would figure out I liked you, and that you would get weirded out and stop wanting to be friends. And not being your friend would break my heart.”

His cheeks hurt from how wide his smile had become. He shook his head. “No way would I have been weirded out, but I didn’t know you liked me. I like you so much,” he reiterated, looking at her locker. “I mean if you couldn’t tell. I just thought you didn’t like me.” He felt so relieved and really happy because it sounded like she wanted to go with him to the party. “So...does that mean you’ll be my date to Sugar’s party?”

By now, there were several students watching them, even if they couldn’t hear what was being said, they knew something important was going on. Plus, there were balloons drawing attention as well.  “Yes, I’d be happy to be your date.” She smiled brightly. If it were possible to fall in love with someone instantly, Mercedes was pretty sure this would be that kind of moment. “Just so you know, I would’ve said yes without all of this.” And that was true. The fact that he actually liked her was so unreal to her that she just wanted to live in the moment for the rest of the day. No class, nothing but goofy grinning because Sam Evans wanted to take her to a party as his date.

“Cool…” he said, trying to force himself to stop grinning like an idiot, but he failed miserably. He could hear people starting to move in the halls behind him, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. “I know. I just wanted to do this for you anyway. It’s like our first...Valentine’s Day sort of thing. I wanted to make it special,” he explained. “I just wanted to make sure you knew I heard you, and I care about you.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek, not caring if anyone could see them.

Mercedes was pretty sure she was done for at this very moment. Completely and utterly done.  Here Sam, just take my heart.  She looked up at him, his blue-green eyes making her tummy do all kinds of weird fluttery things.  “So you’re just going to spoil me right out the gate, okay. This means so much to me, thank you.”

Sam laughed at that, shaking his head. “Not all of the time, but this isn’t really spoiling. This is just...what guys do when they want a girl to know their affections,” he said with a little twang, winking at her. The warning bell rang, and he sighed. “I guess we should probably get to class, but I can pick you up at your house or we can meet at the Sugar Shack.”

“I’m pretty sure most guys don’t do this, but I’ll take your word for it.” She chuckled. “Well, since this would be our first date, I think you should pick me up.” She wanted the whole walk down the stairs moment because, why not?  “Oh crap, I am going on a date, I’m going to have to find something to wear!” She gave Sam a quick hug and closed her locker carefully so the balloons wouldn’t start hitting nearby people, or her.  “See you soon,” which meant at lunch.  “Be prepared to get teased by the group, I’m sure they’ll all know what you did by then.”  Santana would probably snatch her to the back of the room in next class as it was.

Carter already had his outfit on to show Savannah. He had to keep it casual due to the fact that he was going to be bowling, but also wanted to look a little sharp. First date impressions were important, and he hadn't really been on an official first date in a pretty long time. Savannah knew him well, and she also dated him so he figured that she would be the best person to go to for advice as well as making sure he looked good. He had full faith in her, knowing that she'd help him look very much in his prime. Or at least he hoped. The blond opened the door and flashed a quick smile at her. "Hey." He replied, before closing the door behind them. "So, what do you think?" He asked, wearing jeans and a v neck t-shirt.

Savannah made her way over to Carter's house, knowing that she was still a little mad at him but she could get over it. Running her fingers through her hair, she got out of TJ's car and smiled a little as she waved him goodbye and walked up to the door. Getting in a knock, she looked up as quick as he opened the door and smiled a little up at him as she looked him over. "Hey!" She started before walking past him and into the house. Turning around once she put her bag down, she scrunched up her nose. "Nope. Let's go. We're gonna change all of this. Doesn't work." She finished and made her way to his room with him following behind.

Carter sighed, when she said his outfit didn't work. "Sav, I'm trying to wear something so she knows I at least have something underneath." He announced, plopping onto his bed. "How am I gonna show off at all? Isn't that part of a first date? To show them what you got?" Carter asked, sitting up as he did so. "Maybe you could just go on my behalf? You know all about me, just pretend to be me." Was he going to admit that he was a bit nervous? Nope. No way was he going to admit that. "We have so much to do and such little time. We gotta find a new outfit and shorten my Rooster Hair."

Savannah chuckled a little as she looked back at him, her hand swinging at her side basically bouncing off of it as she walked. She was ready to get the cast over and done with. Looking back at him as she started to roll her eyes, opening his closet soon after to start digging through it quickly. "You're gonna go and be relaxed and have fun. Your v neck just shows that you wanna show her what's under that shirt later and that's not the goal, idiot. See, I'm wearing TJ's shirt and it's cute. This is a called a casual shirt. You need to buy shirts like this." She finished, flipping the shirt off the ends of her fingers. Whenever she grabbed him down a tshirt and some jeans, she looked over him before tossing them at him and then grabbing a chair to stand on. "Let's cut your stupid Rooster hair. C'mon. Get the razor and whatever else I need."

Carter nodded. "That's kinda what I wanna do, Sav. I mean that's not the only thing I wanna do but it's not a bad impression, right?" Now he was getting a shirt lesson, a very well needed shirt lesson nonetheless, but a shirt lesson that included her boyfriend's t-shirt. "Of course you think his t-shirt's cute, you're dating him." He didn't want to hear all about TJ, especially when he knew what wearing his t-shirts meant. She used to do the same thing with him too. "I don't know if I could rock those casual shirts, TJ have different builds." He shrugged. He put the outfit she picked out on his bed, not wanting to change into it and then get hair on it. "Fine." He went into his bathroom and pulled out an electronic razor. Quickly running down to the kitchen, he grabbed some scissors just in case she needed that, too. "I don't have a smock thing or whatever, but I don't care. You promise you're gonna make it look good?" He asked, going underneath the chair.

Savannah narrowed her eyes over at him. "You wanna do more than try and have sex with her, Carter. Yes. That's a bad impression." He was stubborn and it drove her insane how much he acted like nothing matters but she knew that it did. Whenever he spoke about TJ and her dating, she smile lit up and she let out a soft giggle. "Mhmm, I am. He's cute, too," she gushed then shook her head quickly to shake her sappy ways before looking over at him. "Casual is good. Just hush and do what I'm sayin', heh?" She asked before watching him move. Whenever he stood in front of her, she let out another laugh and rolled her eyes again. "I don't need a smock and neither do you. Just don't move and we'll be hair free. Well, me anyways." Turning on the razor, she went right for the top of his head, starting around the side first though instead to see what looked best. "Can I shave it?"

Carter nodded once more. "I know, I know. I just want her to recognize that I'm hot. Y'know?" He didn't want to leave Madison with a bad impression. He just wanted to make sure that she knew how attractive he was. He liked seeing her happy and seeing her smile, even if he wasn't the cause of her happiness anymore. She was happy, and that was the most important thing. "If you say so." He replied, in respond to her gushing about her boyfriend. "I always listen, don't I?" Okay so maybe he didn't and he knew that, but he was really trying to listen to here these days. "Yeah, you'll be hair free. I'll have some of my Rooster hair all over me." He laughed, taking his shirt off so that he'd be able to just wipe himself down from hair afterwards. "Slightly? Just not all the way, I'm sure you know what I mean. I just have a hair reputation to protect." His hair was important to him, almost as much as his abs. it was hard to be still especially when he just wanted to move the whole time. "I know college is gonna work out, but you can totally be a hairdresser on the side."

Savannah pressing her lips together, she sighed and looked at him with an unamused expression on her face. "It's not about being hot. Where did you get that from? Honestly," she said in a unthrilled tone. Hands on her hips, she raised her eyebrows before sighing soon after. He annoyed her in the worst way but she didn't know how to handle him sometimes. Whenever he did things like this, this was one of the times. "No, you don't. You hardly ever listen to me, like, ever." She stopped talking whenever she started to work on his hair before finishing and then taking in a deep breath. Stepping down, she ran her hand through his hair and stood on her tip toes. "Looks good. I like it. Now spike it and you won't look like a fuckboy."

Carter began to chuckle. "I know, Sav. I know. No worries, I'll compliment her personality, not her looks." He announced with a smile. "I got this, I think you forget how smooth I am. My goal is to have a good time. I'm not expecting her to put out or anything, but I am expecting to have a good time." Carter confirmed. He could tell she was getting annoyed with him and he just wanted to ensure her that he's going to try to do everything right. "I totally listen to you. I'm gonna wear the clothes you picked out. I try not to fight cause you tell me not to. That's definitely listening in my book." He argued, trying to point out that he did in fact listen to her some of the time. "I don't think spiking it is gonna change the fact that I look like a fuckboy. Do I look like first date material now?"

Savannah smiled as she hopped down, looking up at him. "You'd better not. I'm not close to Madison but I am close to you and I expect better from you. I hope that you know that." She admitted softly as she looked at him, her head leaning over to the side a little. With a nod, she dusted off the rest of herself and then handed him his shirt with a sigh to follow. "Yeah, you listen to me and then get into a fight anyway," she finished and then sat down on his bed to look up at him again for a once over. "Yes. You look like first date material now. Very nice. I did a good job. I'm proud of me."

Carter sighed before giving her a nod. "I know. I'm gonna do my best to make sure I'm the best date. I'm gonna make you proud, I promise. If anyone asks who did my hair, I'll tell them it was you. I'll give you the credit you deserve." He smiled, though it faded once she mentioned his recent fight. "Well, is it really a fight if no one saw it? Really, when you think about it. It's the same thing with a tree when it falls and no one's there, did it really fall?" Carter asked, while playing with his shirt in his hand. "You forget who you're working with, Sav. I'm an easy person to make into first date material." He teased, before plopping down next to her. "Seriously though, thank you. I know you're probably still mad at me about Avery but thank you." He smiled widely, showing her his dimples. "Also, do you think I have to cover these bruises or can they just stay?" There weren't a whole lot, but he wanted to be sure.

Savannah smiled a little whenever he said that he was going to make her proud. She knew that he would, she had no doubt that he would. He was just into things for the wrong reasons and he knew that it made her get mad at him in the worst ways whenever she didn't want to be. "Don't worry about making me proud, Carter, just go on a date. That's all you gotta do. Have fun, because I'm gonna be proud of you no matter what." Watching him sit down, she looked up at him and shoved his shoulder. He knew it annoyed her whenever he started stuff with people but she couldn't make him listen. "Yes, it was a fight now stop acting like you don't know that." Chewing on her bottom lip gently, she ran her hands over her face and then closed her eyes. "You're welcome, Cart. It's whatever, I'm just tired." She admitted and looked up at him to see his dimples. "They can stay. They aren't bad. I promise. Nothing those dimples can't cover up."

Carter smiled when he saw her smile. Her smile was contagious. Hearing that she was going to be proud of him no matter what was relieving, but he wasn't quite sure if that was always going to be true. Was he ever going to disappoint her enough that she would lose that opinion? "I'm gonna have fun. I'll tell you how it goes tomorrow." He was hoping that he'd get to text her and tell her how well it went, rather than the opposite. "Fights aren't gonna be part of who I am anymore though, remember? I'm gonna get help after Miami and you'll be surprised how well I'm gonna do." He really hoped that for everyone's sake, this anger management thing would work. "Go take a nap then. I can relieve you of your duties." He nodded before giving her a smug look. "I figured. Everyone loves the dimples."

Savannah gave him a happy nod, knowing that he wouldn't let her down. She knew that he wouldn't let her down, it was a matter of him believing that though but for now, for this moment, she was going to let him prove himself. "Good. You'd better. I'll be expecting that text so don't let me down." She offered him a smile before standing up and then rubbing her eyes. "I'll be there with you and I'm sure you won't let me down," she admitted and then shot a text to TJ who was only a few minutes away. Walking down the steps, she knew he'd follow and then she grabbed her back before turning to him. "You're gonna be great, don't worry. Be yourself and it'll all work out. I promise you," she whispered as she leaned up to hug him and then back down to smile up at him.