#agent edison

Maria looked up at the hotel as people ran in and out, carrying screaming gnomes that bit the air, close enough to almost nip at thick gloves and heavy coats, but never close enough to catch.

“Not the best first impression there, buddy.” Maria sent a sly look at the man sitting on the curb next to her, a blanket around his shoulders and hiding the state of his suit from onlookers.

“They’re intelligent and they are short,” the man said. “They could be humans for all you know.”

Maria snorted. “Anyone else would think that, sure, but they really aren’t that smart. And you saw what they did to the hotel rooms. That’s wild animal behavior. If they’d been able to keep going, I’m pretty sure they would have tried to turn this place into their version of a bee hive.”

The man glowered at her. “You’re living with the Pines, aren’t you? I saw the incomplete files.”

“And you’re the agent who got sent in to figure this town out, and you’re only going to make people mad if you keep this up.” Maria didn’t look down at the man. “Edison, right? Look, if you want to get information from people, you have to listen to the warnings people give. The gnomes aren’t capable of being domesticated, you’re not supposed to go into the woods alone unless you’re a local, and you really, really should stay away from the Northwests. The parents have gone off the deep end a bit after they lost their fortune and their house to the McGuckets.”

“...are you going to tell me anything else?”

Maria snorted at the question. The seemingly-young woman pulled one of her hands from the pockets of her orange jacket and observed her fingernails. “Just follow the rules around here and don’t pull something like this again. I’m pretty sure that a farmer will round up a mob to try and tar and feather you if you do.”

Sixer poked his head out of the kitchen. “What’s going on, Stanley?”

Crescent’s human counterpart motioned to the TV. “Looks like that new agent guy who replaced Tesla is already makin’ waves in town. The bad kind.”

Sixer’s ears perked up, and he stepped out of the kitchen with a plate of bacon and french toast to see what Stanley was talking about.

“--riled up the gnomes with the thought that they were humans who had been born with genetic defects in height, only for them to completely demolish the hotel and bite several staff. They’ve since been cleared out with several rounds of Gnome Repellent and promises from Susan for pies, and the staff have been taken into the local hospital for treatment of possible diseases from the creatures. Agent Edison, as the hotel guest calls himself, has not offered an official apology for the destruction as of yet, and it is unlikely that he will, considering the actions that brought the gnomes into the building in the first place.”

Sixer stared at the pictures of the hotel rooms that were being cycled through. Beds torn apart in an attempt to make nests, shredded curtains, destroyed televisions. He winced when he saw the state the breakfast buffet was in.

“In other news, the Pines’ research articles are being published today, according to the information given to us by the McGuckets. They are supposed to be the first of many, and mainly detail the ‘normal’ ecosystem that surrounds the town. Dr. Stanford Pines has promised that he will hold off and revealing anything about the local oddities for as long as possible, but the existence of government agents such as Agent Edison might make that more difficult than it needs to be.”

Sixer frowned. “Considering that he is intent on information for one thing and doesn’t realize what he is really asking for, I should think so. It could end up pushing things forward far more quickly than we were anticipating.”

Stanley snorted. “He still hasn’t been able to get that warrant to search the house. Is there a snake that has green blood around here?”

“If it is, we’re not likely to find it unless it’s under the right circumstances.” Sixer shook his head. “It’s likely to be hiding deep in the forest somewhere, but we shouldn’t count on that. At the very least, he’s not going to be able to get any information unless he happens to have something Journal feels is equivalent.”

The knowledge demon in the former study would certainly have opinions about that.

“In the meantime, it is recommended that Agent Edison is not allowed to go on walks alone in the woods. We do not need another gnome infestation that could lead to children being kidnapped for the express purpose of being made into their queen. This is Shandra Jimenez, and I don’t think this man will last the month.”

As the TV went to commercial, Stanley rose to his feet. “Well, better make sure everything’s tied down. Wouldn’t want this guy to break in and make off with something if he starts getting desperate.”

A few days after Christmas, the quiet time of recovering from Christmas dinner and spending time with Christmas gifts was rudely interrupted by loud banging on the front door.

Sixer looked up sharply from studying the ridiculously powerful spell scrolls he’d gotten from Desco at the sound. He could hear either Crescent or one of his twin’s counterparts cursing from the living room, and leaned back in his chair in order to watch from the kitchen as one of the Stanleys got off the couch and walked to the door.

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’, hold yet horses,” came the annoyed voice of the twin as he grabbed the door and opened it. “Oh. It’s you again.”

Sixer’s ears perked up. Oh, he knew that tone of voice. He made sure the scrolls were rolled up tightly and put his notes aside before he started to make his way over to the open door.

Jefferson had a deep love for music, after a long day working it was one of the few things that kept her calm, and helped remove the stress of a long day. When she first joined the Agency she’d spent some time exploring the town closest to The Bunker, getting a feel for what would be her home for some time. When she’d found the record store she’d been excited, there was always something about the smell of a record store, something about the smell of a record. It was just like the smell of a bookstore or a new book, a unique scent that nothing else had.

She’d dressed down a little, in one of her more casual looking agency outfits. Jefferson had been browsing for the better part of half an hour already, a few records in a bag she often took in with her, she’d been a regular for years and had built a good relationship with the owner and staff, they’d call her by name and show off any new records they had that they knew she’d like.