#pannetone

I maintain that it's not the painkillers that knock you out, it's the relief of pain. When you're fighting the pain, lying there and breathing, counting down to the 30 minutes it takes to start working, you are physically and mentally fighting to maintain yourself. At a six or seven, there is nothing but the pain - you can't think of anything else. You struggle against it. Then the pain stops, it's gone, and the fight is over. Your exhausted body and mind need rest, and you sleep.

C/A/P CT scan on Sunday. Fun never stops. Remission is not being a basket of kittens this month. Last Saturday, I was going to be Superwoman, on Sunday it was a coin toss for the ER. Monday it was take max pain meds and then lie there and breathe for 45 minutes.

However, small pleasures.

It's pannetone season! It's fruitcake season! (Not you!) It's eggnog season! It's gingerbread season! It's cookie season!

I want to bake like mad, but have to restrain myself. I've made concessions to my mobility and will do most of my kitchen-intensive stuff sitting down. I've actually made a mise en place station where I can prep my ingredients, use my mixer and other tools - but I do it sitting down on a wheeled stool that can tuck under the table.

I love pannetone. When I was little, Gran made the best bread pudding out of it. It makes terrific French toast (eggy bread), or just slather with butter and have with coffee. I usually get my first one of the season right after Thanksgiving. Nothing says holidays like pannetone.