#panic_attack

What if it didn't work out? And what if it did?!

I’ve been dealing with anxiety since 2007. Monday, while I was working at Best Buy, I had a panic attack. I was literally just sitting outside enjoying the fresh air when all of a sudden my heart rate skyrocketed and my vision started going in and out. I knew it was coming, and not wanting to be in the parking lot, I hustled inside as quickly as possible. I made it about halfway through the store before I passed a coworker and he asked what was wrong and all I could get out was, “I’m bout to have a seizure," as I clutched my shirt and did my best to stay upright until I could collapse in the break room. Apparently this was pretty bad, and I scared the shit out of my coworkers. I bruised myself up quite a bit. I woke up to a customer who was an off duty EMT (thank you Stormy), who was trying to get me back to conscious reality. Next thing I recall is her and my coworker lifting me into a chair while I stared blankly, trapped in my head, listening to someone saying that the ambulance was on the way. The firemen walked in and took my blood pressure and heart rate, and proceeded to put the oxygen mask on my face. Eventually the EMTs rolled in with the stretcher, and I was asked several times if I wanted to go to the hospital, but I declined. They waited a few minutes, trying to get me to calm down, before leaving after I signed the “refusal to go to the hospital" form. They left, and I stayed in the break room just trying to relax. I checked my phone for the time. The last time I looked at it, it was 8:00pm; the ordeal lasted until 8:30pm. I’m still not sure how long I was down. I don’t think many people understand what actually happens with anxiety. It’s something you deal with everyday that doesn’t go away. You just manage it as best you can. Sometimes a panic attack just happens, and that’s the way it is. It’s always fun informing people I work for/with about my disorder; seems like they never know what to expect.