#palpabitch

CODY AND MAUL GETTING ALONG OUT OF SPITE? FRIENDS BASED ON MUTUAL HATE FOR EACH OTHER? (takes place in this au)

somehow, maul realizes how close kenobi is to cody, and cody gets captured. maul is all like “SIT IN YOUR CELL AND ROT IN YOUR DESPAIR” and being a huge maniac until cody just starts ranting about how irresponsible kenobi will be without him.

maul: i have captured you >:)

cody: fuck now obi-wan is gonna be an idiot and forget to take care of himself

maul:

maul: this isn’t the kind of shit talking i usually partake in when it comes to kenobi but i can vibe

so soon palps hits maul up, and does that weird creepy drawl, saying “you have captured the commander? good. gooooooood. now kill him.”

but maul and cody are vibing and shit talking about kenobi together, plus maul knows that palpatine is just manipulating both sides of the war, so he just hangs up and doesn’t.

fox walks in and palpatine is banging his head on the desk.

obi-wan rescues him four hours later and is kind of concerned that maul did absolutely nothing to him, but cody just grabs the general by the shoulders, looks him dead in the eye, and goes “you cUT HIM IN HALF SIR?”

somewhere in the galaxy maul is wheezing himself to death.

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alternatively, maul and anakin talking shit about kenobi.

maul just happens to show up in the middle of a mission expecting kenobi to be there after sending him like eighty-five holos.

anakin and rex watch off to the side as maul just grumbles in the corner.

somehow skywalker catches wind of what maul is saying and goes “oh yeah, he never shows up when i actually want him to be there”.

maul: god kenobi is so annoying

anakin: i know right!!!

rex: sir, maybe we should-

maul: he always shows up when i don’t want him there, and then never shows up when i specifically ask for him! and HE’S ALWAYS SO POLITE ABOUT IT UGH.

anakin: yeah! everyone at the temple thinks he’s soooo perfect and polite but he’s actually just really annoying! always nagging me like “anakin don’t do that” and “anakin don’t put that in your mouth.” it’s horrible!

maul:

maul: oh worm?

rex: sir what the fuck is happening do i shoot him or not

So... Zabrak horns are sharp, right? Like, properly sharp. This means that their hoods must accomodate that somehow as to not end up with holes in your hood. I have found 5 ways of how that could be handled. 1. Delicate hoods Hoods made from delicate fabrics, like silks or chiffon or so on, they would be purely decorative and would probably be one-time use only, like a cheap prom dress that starts to loose sequins after one hour of wear. Not very practical but very en vogue for people who want to show off. How better to do that than wearing an expensive piece of fabric one time and then never again because you shredded it? 2. Sturdy hoods Hoods made from material that can take some stress, like canvas. You can make that in varying degrees of durable, two layers of canvas would last longer against the chafing of the horns than one. Those are practical garments but also susceptible to wear and tear due to probably daily use. Might not be comfortable because the material is rough. 3. Layered hoods a. You could have hoods that have a sturdy inner lining. That way you can have a beautiful outside without ruining the hood quickly. Might not be comfortable, though, due to the rougher fabric, much like the sturdy hood. b. You could have a hood with sturdy interlining and a softer inner lining, like linen or cotton. The inner lining would only be tacked on so it can be removed easily when the comfortable fabric wears thin. Would be comfortable but also just a tad wasteful and requires a lot of work. 4. Alternative material hoods You could have an inner lining that is sturdy and is not fabric. Leather or the stuff that cutting mats are made from. That would have to be sturdy enough to actually be functional so the hood would have a rigid shape. Looks cool and regal from the outside but might looks stupid and ugly from the inside and is not be the most practical thing. 5. Armor hood Slap chainmail or straight up metal armor plates into your hood. Very cool, very metal, armor-kink people will love you. But would probably be quite heavy and even uncomfortable. And I don't know what kind of unholy sounds the hood would make when scraping against horns.

Having those five options, I have to look at Phantom Menace Maul.

(talking about this hc)

dooku would probably go “alright now this is just ridiculous” and hits up obi-wan, because he is the only jedi who he semi-tolerates.

and he goes into this very elaborate speech about his masters big plan, and how it’s probably someone in the senate who has been manipulating everyone.

and obi-wan relays this to the council. mace and yoda probably already had suspiscions that something wasn’t quite right by this point, so they end up speaking with dooku and the rest of the sith.

they all agree to stop fighting each other and find the person who has been manipulating the war.