#palidan

eyestrain-y background version under the cut because I couldn't decide which one I liked more and I'm tired so y'all get both

All of these are my OCs except for the bat, who is a player in a game I’m in. And the man driving the cart/riding on the dragons back. All people I’ve played game with.

These are all a few months to a year old, except for the pink tiefling gal which I drew earlier this month. <3 I am obsessed with DnD

Okay nerds its motherfuckin story time. So I just started DMing for this new group of people, maybe 2 have played the game previously, so all of them are brand new.

First let me mention that there are 8 of them. I told them writing a campaign for 8 people was going to be tough and DMing a group of 8 was going to be even harder but they insisted. Boy am I fuckin glad I took this chance because it was the wildest first game I have ever had.

Next let me tell you that our group consists of: A Pix, 2 Dragonborn, a Wood Elf, 2 Tieflings, a Human, and a Lizardfolk. Also, most of them are criminals or hermits of sorts, or of a chaotic allignment. Basically NOT the stereotypical hero archatype. Oh, and almost all of them have a backstory where someone they love was merc'd by Orcs. So I'm thinking "how the fuck do I write a heroic campaign for a bunch of hoodlums and outcasts".

Short version: All of them received a hand written letter (placed next to them that they find when they awake from a rest alone) that basically said "come work for me, a mysterious stranger, or I will kill you or what you love. Also I will let you destroy Orcs". And thus the Fuckhead Avengers were born and met up in this town called Vila.

The area they exist in has had a forest that's been plagued by poison and monsters for about a hundred and fifty years. Until recently there was no issue, people just avoided the forest, but then Orcs started to come into the nearby town and murder and steal. The group is hired to find the source of the Orcs and destroy all of them. Of course these Orc hating racists jump on this idea and go for it.

This isnt even the fun part of the story that's just the background knowlege. Heres the good part:

When they get to the dungeon I have set up for them, I have it set so there are rooms with long hallways separating them and in every room the orcs get progressively stronger and in higher numbers. They get through the first few orcs, then they get to an Org (a stronger smarter Orc) and then this insued...

DM: you come up to a door

Tiefling Rogue: we all slink back into the shadows and then i use my mage hand cantrip to knock.

DM: You hear silence, then the Org opens the door and looks at your mage hand in confusion and alarm.

TR: I want to use my mage hand to give him a wedgie.

DM: you what

TR: I SAID I want to use my mage hand to give the Org a wedgie.

DM: I really dont want to let you do that.

TR: it's a cantrip you cant even make me roll for it. I want to give the Org a wedgie and lift him up off the ground with it.

DM: you cant do that, your mage hand can only carry 20 lbs HA

Human Bard: hey I have a mage hand cantrip too

Tiefling Ranger: hey wait I have that cantrip too

Dragonborn Sorcerer: guys I have the cantrip too

TR: do all of us have the mage hand cantrip???

HB: are you thinking what I'm thinking?

....

They basically tallied up how much weight they could carry with their mage hands all together, 160 lbs.

Not enough to lift an Org.

Dragonborn Palidan: what if I, the strongest in the group, give him a front wedgie at the same time everyone else is using their mage hands to give him a back end wedgie. Could we lift him then??

DM: *grumble grumble* FINE

Collective: *chanting and slamming fists on the table* GIVE THE ORG A WEDGIE GIVE THE ORG A WEDGIE

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Following after season 4 of Voltron: