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GBR_6_177-178_6
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“i’ve stopped talking because there’s really nothing left to say and there’s this piercing sort of pain where my heart is. maybe i’m having a heart attack, but it doesn’t seem worth mentioning.”
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"History isn't a premade tapestry that we've got to suffer, a closed world with no exit. We can form it. Make it. We just have to choose to make it."
R. F. Kuang, Babel, or The Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Oxford Translators' Revolution (Griffin Lovell)

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I have so many feelings about when Katniss goes to Haymitch's house after the Quell announcement.
First, she's a funny drinker. Hardly had any alcohol in her life, but she still takes not one but a couple gulps of the white liquor before choking. Like she's trying to look tough.
Then, mixed feelings about Haymitch saying Peeta claimed he wanted to be in the arena to protect Katniss. Peeta was slightly helpful in the 74th, but mostly because of his weird alliance with the Careers to divert their finding her, which it's unclear if he even did anything there until the aftermath of the tracker jacker nest. And thereafter, he was more of a physical burden inside and source of sponsor sympathy outside. He could arguably do more to protect and support her outside of the arena as a mentor. Did he mean to protect her from Haymitch? If it came down to the two from 12, would Peeta worry about Haymitch trying to kill Katniss?
And of course, Haymitch being an ass with his bit about Katniss never being able to deserve Peeta. I try to forgive him and chalk it up to self-loathing. For hating Katniss for how much of himself he sees in her. But when it comes to them, he's a dick to her about it.
And so predictably, Katniss reminds Haymitch that they must do as Peeta wants because they owe him.
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If our love is a sin, then heaven must be full of such tender and selfless sinning as ours.
The Well of Loneliness, by Radclyffe Hall