#p with plot

You were put behind the bar tonight next to Katsuki and of course, there was a bachelorette party.

"I swear, these bachelorette parties get wilder every year." He said as he mixed up some vodka cranberries.

"Yeah but hey, at least they tip good." You replied, using one hand to shake up a round of wet pussies while lining up 6 shot glasses along the bar. You flip the lid of the cocktail shaker and use is to expertly pour the shots. "Alright ladies! Your wet pussies, have fun!" You give a shot to each of the girls and they cheer as they drink them.

You retrieve the glasses and began wiping them as the girls headed to the dance floor.

"I wonder how people came up with those names." Katsuki says, now pouring a Guinness while a drunken Irishman stared him down intently.

"THAT'S A SHITE POUR!" The man yells.

"It's the best you're getting!"

"Y'CAN'T EVEN SPLIT THE G ON THIS ONE!"

"Then don't! Not my problem!" Katsuki raises his arm to get security's attention, clicking and pointing at the dude.

The hunky himbo of a security guard, Eijiro, with his moko proudly displayed on his arm, approached the bar.

"Get this idiot outta here." Katsuki shook his head, shamelessly pouring the Guinness down the sink just to spite the Irishman.

"Sure thing bro!" Eijiro firmly gripped the dude's shoulders and carried him out of the club, not even bothered by the thrashing.

"So you were saying about drink names?" You continued the conversation.

"They're weird," He spat. "I mean who looks at a drink and decides to call it a "wet pussy", that's brain rot if I've ever seen it."

"I mean it's pink and wet what more could you want?"

"Now you're just being a pervert."

You laughed and turned to lean back against the bar.

"Ever heard of a blowjob shot?"

"A what?"

"Blowjob shot," You repeated as you listed the spirits on your fingers. "amaretto, Irish cream and then you top it with whipped cream."

Katsuki shrugged.

"Still don't get why it's called a blowjob shot."

"Because you're supposed to have your hands behind your back and then get the glass with your lips and tip it back." You jerked your head back to emphasise your point. "I'll give you one sometime."

Katsuki flushed hard but still attempted to remain cocky, shooting you a half assed smirk.

"A blowjob?"

"A shot!" You playfully punched his shoulder. You have always though Katsuki was a fine piece of man, I mean look at the guy, and he was also a nice dude...to an extent. I mean, he has beef with 3 of the 5 line cooks and is yelling at Denki every two minutes but he was nice enough to you.

"I wouldn't mind either way." He teased, voice a little wavery.

"Are you flirting with me, Katsuki Bakugo?" You questioned sarcastically, at least hoping it was a little bit true.

"I'll leave that for you to decide."

You laughed and turned to walk off.

"I'm gonna grab some more ice!"

"Aight!"

You headed around the back of the bar and down the stairs to the basement to the ice machine where there was an unmistakable smell of weed. Only two idiots were dumb enough to smoke on company time and only one of them was rostered.

"Denki get your ass out here!" You called and heard a loud cough from behind the ice machine. "Dammit now I'm gonna smell like weird and Nemuri's gonna fire me."

"Nah you're fine, she lets me smoke just as long as I give her some."

You couldn't even be mad anymore, you just shrugged and grabbed the ice bucket.

"Make yourself useful, we're out of ice upstairs."

"Nah I'm good."

"Fuck you mean "nah I'm good"?!"

"It means nah I'm good."

Your expression went blank.

"You're helping, get a bucket."

He groaned and grabbed an ice bucket.

Finally you got back up the stairs with Denki in tow, eyes red from marijuana. Katsuki looked away from his glass for a moment to spot the red eyed freak.

"Jesus Christ Denki," He sighed. "You can smoke as much as you want off site but for the love of God, do your fucking job."

Mina walked over with empty glasses stacked over her shoulder, carrying them behind the bar and setting them on the bench. She sighed as she flipped her pink goddess braids back over her head with her arm.

"These ladies sure do drink a lot." She chuckled with exasperation.

"You should see how many wet pussy's they've drinken." Katsuki said, mocking the name of the drink.

"Ew, they taste like medicine." Mina replies before looking over at Denki. "Oh shit is he high again?"

"What does it look like?" You said, dumping the ice from the buckets into the ice bins.

"It looks like this idiot took my offer too seriously." The deep, naturally sultry voice of Nemuri said as she approached the bar.

"You'd probably have to be more specific with this one," Katsuki said, fetching a bottle of top shelf whiskey. "you ask him to jump off a cliff, he asks if he should do a flip."

"Ooh~ Top shelf! Someone's getting tipped good tonight!" Mina said.

"Depends how well he pours." The wealthy customer said, watching him intently like the Irishman.

"Well don't ask him to pour a Guinness then." You muttered and Katsuki shot you a look.

The man laughed and gestured to you.

"Listen to her! Pretty girls behind the bar usually know what they're doing." Katsuki's eyes narrowed as he placed an ice sphere in the whiskey glass and effortlessly poured the amber liquid into it with a flick of his wrist. "Good man!" The man took the glass, placed a hefty bill into his tip jar and headed over to yours. He shoved a bill into the opening and gave you a wink.

Katsuki's blood boiled.

Who does this asshole think he is?

He thought to himself as he cleaned one of the glasses Mina had brought over, not realising how tightly he was squeezing it and only realising it was shattered when Nemuri spoke up.

"Someone's in a mood."

He ignored her and turned to you.

"Why'd he tip you? You didn't even do anything." He scoffed. Your nose wrinkled in confusion and defense.

"Maybe because I'm young and hot and just way better at my job than you are." You shot back and he rolled his eyes.

What's his problem?

...

It was 3 am and you were finally being cut along with Katsuki. You got the train to work that evening so you began heading back to the train station. Saying bye to Eijiro, still posted at the front door, you began your commute. You hadn't spoken to Katsuki in the last hours of your shift since you were known to hold a grudge against those who question your work ethic.

"Oi!" You heard him call. "You need a ride?!"

"I don't need a ride! Let alone from you of all people!" You called back and kept walking. Heavy footsteps approached you and a hand was placed on your shoulder.

"Come on, it's too late for you to catch the train by yourself."

"I'm 25 I can catch the train."

"Yeah, but you're also young and hot."

You rolled your eyes as he echoed your previous statement.

"Is that your way of apologising?"

He shrugged.

"Sorta."

"Ok dude."

Katsuki sighed.

"Sorry I said you weren't doing anything, it wasn't cool. Also I'm pretty sure that dude was a creep."

You shrugged.

"I guess that's better," You sighed and walked past him. "Alright, where's your ride?"

...

The car ride was fairly silent but the tension was thick. REALLY thick. So thick it was like cutting through cold butter with a cold knife.

But if there was one thing...

One thing at all...

He wanted to that BJ.

"So...I wasn't entirely joking about the whole blowjob shot...thing." He said out of nowhere.

You almost jolted at the sound of his voice but you did turn around with confusion.

"You mean the shot thing?"

"Yeah I uh...wasn't joking, like at all." He kept his eyes on the road to avoid even looking at you.

"Like you really want me to give you a blowjob?"

"Forget I said anything."

You turned back to look out the window.

"You can forget about dropping me home."

"Shit...look I'm sorry that's probably an HR violation-"

"Take me to yours."

This time he looked straight at you as he kept driving.

"I'm sorry what?"

"You heard me."

Katsuki probably went at least 10 km over the speed limit to reach his apartment complex. He parked in the underground space and you took the elevator up to his floor.

Let's just say the elevator wasn't the only thing going up.

The moment he opened the door, you led him to the couch, kicking the door shut behind you with your docs. You sat him down, and knelt in front of him.

He never expected you to be the type to take charge like this and he wasn't entirely mad about it.

"Shit Y/n..." He said breathlessly as you forced his knees apart, looking up at him with those beautiful eyes of yours.

You unhooked his black dress pants and the zipper slid down the bulge straining against it. You pulled the elastic of his grey boxers, freeing his hard length.

If you opened a dictionary and looked up the word dick, you'd get a whole page dedicated to a photo of Katsuki's penis. Perfect length, perfect girth, perfect pink tip.

"You're cock should be on the cover of a magazine." You said and he rolled his eyes.

"If you weren't about to suck me off, that would've killed any boner I had." Katsuki replied.

"Best get to it then." You pressed the tip of your tongue to the base of his shaft, licking a stripe up the ridge.

"Oh fuck..." He sighed as your lips sunk down on him. Katsuki through his head back as he let out shaky breaths. His hand found the back of your head, not to push you down but to feel your soft, slightly greasy hair against his fingers.

Your tongue swirled around the tip before bobbing down again. Your hand stroked the parts your mouth couldn't reach.

Even after just a few minutes, Katsuki was close. He was desperately trying to hold it in but you were just too good. He pulled your head off his dick as he came, hissing through his teeth. Ropes of white cum streaked across your face.

"Shit, sorry..." He muttered, standing up, heading to the kitchen and running a cloth under warm water before wringing it out. He brought it back and held you under your chin to clean up his mess. As he cleaned the cum off your mouth, running his thumb along your bottom lip, he couldn't help but give into the urges he was feeling and neither could you.

Your lips met in a passionate kiss, tongues slipping in and out of eachothers mouths as he scooped you up under your thighs and carried you to his bedroom.

Laying you on his bed, he pried your docs off and moved in between your legs.

"Just returning the favour..." He whispered into your ear before kneeling in front of the bed and unhooking your dress pants. Unzipping the fly, he pulled off the pants and your panties in one swift movement, revealing your neatly trimmed cunt.

Between rent, utilities and student loan payments, you didn't exactly have the time or money for a wax and you were one of those girls that refused to shave so trimming was the best you could do.

Katsuki didn't mind one bit as he rubbed his thumb over your slick folds.

"I see why they call a wet pussy now," He dipped his head lower. "I just hope this one doesn't taste like medicine."

Katsuki's lips made contact with yours and he spread your folds and really got in there. Every lick, lap, and stroke of his tongue made you shiver, moan, and whimper as he hit every right spot.

"Ah-...'Tsuki-!" You moaned, gripping the bed sheets as he savoured your cunt.

"So fucking good..." He muttered between slurps of pussy, holding your thighs over his shoulders. "I fucking love it when you say my name like that..."

His thumb began rubbing your clit in tight circles as his tongue pressed against that spongey spot inside you. The pleasure made your walls contract and clench around his tongue.

"Tsuki!" You arched into him as you felt yourself about to burst.

"That's it pretty girl..."

Your hips bucked into his mouth as you climaxed, your juices flooding his senses. Katsuki pulled back and wiped his lips with the back of his hand, staring down at the mess he made.

"Definitely tastes a lot better than a shot," He crawled over you, kneeling on either side of your hips. "You wanna go all the way?"

You nodded breathlessly, tangling you fingers in his ashy blond hair to bring him down for a kiss as your either hand fiddled with his shirt buttons and your feet kicked off his pants.

He rolled over and sat you on his lap, cock pressed against your pelvis, undoing your shirt buttons effortlessly and sliding it off your shoulders, revealing the comfortable cotton bra you were wearing.

"Fuck...How often do people tell you how beautiful you are?" He sat up with you still on his lap. "Not "pretty", not "hot", not "sexy", beautiful."

You shook your head and continued to undo his buttons.

"Rarely."

"Then you'll here it a lot more from me." Katsuki's hand found the back of your neck to hold it in place while he kissed and sucked at your throat. You let out small sounds as he reached certain spots. His other hand worked on your bra, pinching the clasp and letting it fall down your arms before you flicked it off the bed.

Your hips ground against his, wet pussy sliding over his erection.

"That needy huh?" He murmured against your neck.

"I really want you Katsuki..." You whined as a vein dragged against your clit.

"I need you too..." He released from your skin with an audible pop as he reached into his bedside table drawer. He pulled out a flat foil packet and tore it open with his fingers. You shuffled back, letting Katsuki roll the latex onto his length. "You wanna be on top?" He asked you, hands finding your hips.

"Yeah." You kneeled up and hovered your entrance above his tip.

"Alright, I can't fucking wait to have you around me..."

"Ok..." You nodded. "Ok... here I go..." You held onto his shoulders as you sunk onto his cock, your pussy stretching around him. "Oh-OH!"

"Fuck- are you okay?"

You nodded and rested your forehead against his shoulder.

"I just need a minute..."

"Take all the time you need." His hand held the back of your head as you breathed and moaned against his shoulder for a minute.

"Ok...ok I'm gonna move- now~" You moaned as you sunk fully onto his cock.

"Fuck Sweetie..." Katsuki through his head back against the headboard as you started to rock your hips, moaning into him. "Fuck...good girl..."

"Ah~ Tsuki~" You raised your hips with every rock, riding his perfect dick. You pushed up from his shoulders, mouth hanging open as sounds fell from it. His hands found your hips as he thrusted to match your movements. "Fuck~!"

"Fuck you feel so good~!" He rubbed his thumbs over your waist where you had three four pointed stars, like specs of light from an explosion, tattooed on each hip bone.

"Tsuki I'm close!" You called out and he grunted as he bucked into you.

"Fuck! Me too baby...!"

After a few more thrusts, you felt the condom expanding inside you, the strange but weirdly pleasurable sensation made you finish as well. Katsuki breathed deeply as he lifted you off his softening dick and took off the latex, tying it off and tossing it into the trash across the room.

You collapsed at his side, catching your breath.

"Fuck you were amazing..." He laid down and threw his forearm over his eyes, letting out a breathless chuckle. "How you feeling?"

"Like I just won the lottery." You returned the chuckle.

"Never knew you had tattoos." He said, turning to peak at you from under his arm.

"I guess they're in a place not a lot of people see."

"Am I the first to have seen them?" He asked with a small smirk.

"Well I haven't fucked since I got them so yeah, yeah you are."

"What an honour."

"It is an honour." You scooted closer to him, his right arm slipping under your head like a pillow. "You got any?"

"Yeah," He lifted his left arm to reveal a tattoo of the four suites lined up on his bicep. "I got it cause life's a gamble," He dropped his arm above his head and turned to look at you. "And you gotta take chances."

"Fuck that's good." You said like you were made you hadn't thought of it first.

"Why'd you get yours?"

"...I thought they looked cool."

"Jesus Christ Y/n..."

"But If I had to make up a reason..." You thought for a moment. "I guess it'd be to remind me to never lose my spark."

He smiled softly and used his left hand to brush a strand of hair out of your face.

"That's a good reason," His crimson eyes gazed into yours. "You're not rostered Saturday, right?"

"Nuh uh."

"Alright then, I'll take you on a date."

You propped yourself up on your elbow a little.

"Wait really?"

"Yeah," He shrugged. "I really like you and I want this to go somewhere."

You smiled and lay back down on his arm.

"I really like you too Katsuki."

He pulled the covers over the both of you.

"We cannot let anyone at work know about this." He laughed as he pulled you against his toned chest.

"Oh fuck no, they'd never let us live it down."

"Hehe..." He pressed a light kiss to your forehead. "Night Beautiful."

"Mm..." You were seconds away from drifting off. "Night Tsuki."

And with that, you both fell into a peaceful, post O slumber. No work noise, no jealous noise, just silence, perfect, blissful silence.

A/N

First smut kinda nervy😀. I've been mulling over this idea for a fic for about two minutes so it's mainly just horny brain vomit BUT TRUST IT WILL HAVE A PLOT IF YOU GUYS WANT MORE OF THIS!

I was also gonna include Aizawa in this chapter but I couldn't decide if he should be a bar frequenter or the head chef. LMK WHICH ONE YOU'D PREFER!!!

Helen took a sip of her wine to steady her nerves, trying to follow the conversation around the table. River had invited them to a party and what a party it was. They were in a bar at Luna University, filled with people of all shapes, sizes and colours. The air was sweet with the smell of exotic drinks and soft tunes of music carried through the lively chatter. It was a wondrous, exciting place and yet, all Helen could focus on was the sensation of Liv’s hand on her thigh, toying with the edge of her skirt.

While their hostess was fawning over the Doctor, who was utterly entranced by his future wife, the med-tech leaned in close.

“How much longer do you think before we can slip away without appearing rude?” She hummed and Helen could feel her breath on her neck. Liv moved her hand a little higher, to the inside of her thigh and the linguist was grateful for the cover of the table, as her breath hitched.

“I- I don’t know-” She wasn’t sure what to say. Her mind was becoming hazy, but she couldn’t be sure whether it was the two glasses of wine, or the effect her girlfriend’s advances had on her. She knew what she was implying. Liv had been patient with her, appreciating her lack of experience and the things she had yet to overcome through years of hiding away her feelings. But they had been romantically involved for a while now, and under the influence of alcohol, the med-tech had started making advances more blatantly than ever before. It wouldn’t be a bad night for it. No monsters to fight, good food and drink, and the TARDIS only a short walk away with the bedroom they shared.

And it wasn’t that Helen didn’t want to, she felt a physical draw to the woman beside her like nothing she had ever experienced before, but there was a lot to consider. All the things that had held her back were wiped from her mind, when Liv’s fingers skirted the top of her stockings. Helen released a shaky breath. The way her hips buckled forward of their own account told the linguist all she needed to know. She felt a tight pull in her gut and gripped her wine glass a little tighter. She could read her own body’s actions well enough, she didn’t want to deny Liv this - or herself for that matter. They had both waited long enough. What did it matter that it had been over twenty years since she’d-

Helen stalled her mind in its tracks and emptied her wine glass in one go. She wasn’t ready to talk about that yet. She was, however, ready to feel those things again with the woman she loved more than she could say. Beside her, Liv raised her eyebrows at her actions.

The linguist set her glass down and turned to her girlfriend who looked as though she wanted to say something, but wasn’t given the opportunity. Helen leaned in to kiss her, enjoying the tingling sensation of her hand on her thigh and the warmth of the alcohol, as she was already imagining what the rest of the evening might entail.

“I think I’m ready to get out of here,” she mumbled against her lips as she grabbed hold of her hand under her skirt and pushed it just that little bit higher still. Liv’s eyes widened in surprise, she didn’t manage words, she just nodded eagerly.

“Off so soon?” River cooed from across the table.

“I’ve come over quite tired,” Helen made her excuses but the professor just grinned.

“Well, I do hope you two have a good rest.”

“I’m sure we will,” Helen smiled, pushed Liv’s hand from her skirt and stood up. The med-tech quickly followed suit, almost stumbling over her own feet.

The TARDIS wasn’t far. The linguist took hold of her girlfriend’s hand as they weaved through the crowd on their way to the maintenance cupboard, they knew their space and time ship to be hidden in. Under normal circumstances, one or both of them would have worried about leaving the Doctor behind, but without having to discuss it, they were in agreement that he was in capable hands. River certainly had her hands all over him, and Helen thought it only right that they ought to occupy themselves in a similar fashion.

They pushed inside the maintenance cupboard when no-one was looking and most of the noise from the party fell away, and with it - so it seemed - Liv’s self-control. The TARDIS was right where they had left it, but before Helen even got the chance to pull the door open, Liv grabbed hold of her hips. She pressed herself close and found the base of her neck with her lips.

“Liv-” Helen chuckled as she reached for her key in her pocket. She appreciated her enthusiasm. It was a nice feeling to be wanted and it certainly felt like Liv did just that. She found her way underneath her blouse with one hand and returned the other to the inside of her thighs, continuing where she had previously left off. The linguist gasped, missing the lock with her key as she braced herself against the door. “Wait ‘till we’re inside-” She groaned, trying for the lock once more and Liv whispered to her ear:

“How do you expect me to wait when you look the way you do?” She husked, tracing her finger up against the fabric of her pants and Helen’s heart jumped into her throat. Was this just the effect she had on other women who shared her inclinations? “You’re so beautiful, Helen.” Jean had told her as much when she had pushed her to the wall of the boat house by the-

Helen unlocked the door at last and they stumbled inside, unsteady with the alcohol, the feelings of elation and in the linguist’s case, a decent amount of nerves. Liv threw the door shut behind them, and the remainders of the noise from the party stopped. It was just them now and in the silence that engulfed the console room, Helen could hear the rushing of her blood and the frantic beating of her heart.

“Do you want to head for our bedroom straight away or-”

“What I want is to make you feel good,” Liv countered and silenced any sort of protest with a firm kiss. Helen stumbled backwards, but her girlfriend held her up by her hips, manoeuvred her backwards until her thighs collided with the console. “Do you have any idea how often I’ve thought about doing this?” She whispered hotly against her lips.

“Liv, God-” Heat was spreading to every inch of Helen’s body, tinting her cheeks and making her shiver. She would have lied had she denied having those exact same thoughts herself. Liv kissed her passionately, pulled at her bottom lip with her teeth and Helen whimpered. She grabbed on to the edge of the console, knuckles turning white and her girlfriend started unbuttoning her blouse.

“I’ve wanted you for such a long time,” she told her in between kisses, working her way along her buttons. “Do you have any idea of the self-control it’s taken not to-” She ripped the last button of her blouse and trailed her lips down her neck, to her collar bone as her hands brushed back up her body, pulling her blouse along and off her shoulders.

“We should probably-” Helen wanted to suggest the move along, to their bedroom, while she could still think clearly. Her girlfriend’s ministrations were making thinking harder and harder. The linguist’s voice trailed off in a soft moan when Liv palmed her breast through the fabric of her bra.

“The Doctor is busy, he’ll never know,” the med-tech hummed against the base of her throat, finding her pulse point with soft lips. Helen was sure she could feel the frantic beating of her heart, betraying her excitement, but also a dash of panic as memories of things long passed pushed themselves on her. Memories of sneaking around behind teachers’ backs to places where they were alone…

“But Liv-” Helen breathed, suddenly uneasy about where they were. The Doctor could come back at any point. And River could be with him. They would be found out. They would be-

“I love it when you say my name,” Liv growled and the sensation of her lips on her neck made the linguist panic.

“Stop, stop, Liv, stop!”

Helen shoved Liv back and the med-tech stumbled, eyes wide with shock.

“W-what-” She stuttered. “I’m sorry Helen. Did I do something wrong? Did I-” She appeared to have sobered up in an instant, and the concern and fear with which she looked at her made the linguist regret her strong reaction, even though it had been involuntary.

“No, no, it’s fine, I just-” She took a deep breath, trying to shake her head clear of visions of the past. It was as if she could feel Jean’s body pressing her into the wall of the boat house, whispering alluring promises and her illicit intentions to her, forbidden though they were. And Helen’s cheeks burned as they had back then, her body trembled, her breath was short and Liv - lovely, beautiful, considerate Liv Chenka - broke through the haze of memories in a timid voice.

“I- I thought you wanted this,” she hugged her arms around herself and looked to the floor regretfully as if she had committed some great crime.

“I do, I do, I-” Helen rushed to assure her. She pushed off the console, back in the here and now, and quickly closed the gap between them that she had created. She cradled her face and lifted her gaze to meet hers. She couldn’t have her believe her advances were unwanted when she had been thinking about doing this for so long. She wanted Liv more than she had wanted anything or anyone before, even Jean. But how was she to explain the painful grasp the past still had on her? She had underestimated it.

“I’m sorry, I was getting carried away,” Liv took the blame upon herself. “We should go to the bedroom and- I’m sorry, this was stupid of me.”

“No, that’s not it. I just-” Helen didn’t know how to explain, but she knew she had to. She couldn’t keep her girlfriend in the belief she was making her uncomfortable, when the very opposite was the case. She made her feel safe and wanted. “It’s just… what you were saying-”

“Sorry, I’m just a bit- We don’t have to do this now,” Liv pulled away. “I’ll sober up. I’ll get some coffee and I-” She glanced over to the corridor and the way her shoulder slumped, the expression of disappointment she was trying to mask, made Helen panic almost as much as the flash of memories had.

“But I want this, please don’t think I don’t want you. Because I do,” she pleaded and pulled Liv around. She kissed her. Quickly. Forcefully. She took her hands and guided them back to her hips. If only they could carry on and-

But it was Liv’s turn to push her away. She wasn’t so easily distracted.

“Then what’s the problem?” She exclaimed as pent up emotions seemed to seek an outlet. It wasn’t anger as such, it was frustration, and Helen flinched. “What is it that I’m not doing? I’ve been patient, Helen. If sex isn’t for you, just say and-” Liv gave a dismissive wave.

Helen wasn’t quick to anger or strong emotions in general. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was something that was years in the making, but she too burst with frustration and exclaimed:

“Liv, that’s not it at all! You have absolutely no idea what’s going on with me!”

“Right, okay…” Liv’s response was immediately calmed, but visibly hurt.

“Sorry, I’m just having a hard time…” Helen apologised, as the last thing she wanted to do was hurt her. “It’s just… what you were saying was reminding me of the last time I-” She couldn’t quite finish the sentence or meet her eyes but, Liv understood anyway.

“I- I thought you hadn’t-” She stuttered, with a mix of confusion, surprise and a touch of jealousy.

“I don’t know how to talk about it, Liv.” Helen realised she couldn’t bring herself to say anymore. “I’m sorry. Can we just keep going?” She held out her hand to her, hoping she would take it and drop the matter in turn.

“If you’re uncomfortable…” The med-tech took her hand, but evidently wasn’t prepared to move on.

“I’m not uncomfortable, Liv,” Helen shook her head demonstratively and observing her girlfriend’s dumbfounded, helpless expression, the words simply tumbled over her lips: “I just don’t want to be thinking about someone else when I’m here with you.”

“Well, yes, I would quite like to have your undivided attention,” Liv’s response was delivered as a joke, but the humour never reached her eyes. It fell flat and guilt tied the linguist’s stomach in knots.

“Sorry,” she mumbled and cast her eyes to their intertwined hands, grasping her girlfriend’s fingers more tightly, afraid she would let go. Liv, to her credit, overcame the moment of discomfort. She reached out to touch Helen’s cheek and lifted her face to ask:

“What’s going on, Helen?” Her voice was soft and without judgement and if the linguist hadn’t already been in love with her, that would have done it. While Liv could appear brash and tactless, underneath it all she was gentle and kind, and Helen’s vision blurred with tears. She didn’t think she deserved her.

“I-” She took a deep breath, determined to open up and become worthy of her affection and care. “Ever since the vampires…”

“I did wonder what your vision was…” Liv hummed. “You never wanted to say before.” She had asked about it and Helen had always deflected. She hadn’t felt ready to talk about it. She didn’t now, either, but she felt like she owed it to her. Maybe she would feel better once she had finally told someone. Twenty years was too long to keep a secret. Years had buried it in forgetting. Years in which she had denied herself all sort of affection that might remind her. But now, recent experiences with the vampires and her brother had opened up her heart and mind. She had opened up to the possibility of love and affection, but also to the great shame she had worked so hard to forget about.

“And I still don’t,” she confessed as she wished there was no need for this but there was no way back now. “It just- it hurts…”

“Please talk to me,” Liv repeated gently and brought her hands to her lips for an affirming kiss. Helen couldn’t possibly deny her.

“Every time I think of doing this, doing it, with you I have to think about the last - the only time I-” the linguist took a deep breath. “And what happened after...”

“Tell me about it?” The med-tech requested softly. “Maybe I can help. You trust me, don’t you?”

“More than anyone,” Helen whispered, and a tear escaped her eyes, seeking a way down, only to be caught by Liv’s fingers.

“Well then,” she prompted, then turned more self-conscious as she asked: “You’re not still… you know… You don’t still have feelings for this other person, do you?” She gnawed the inside of her cheek, visibly uneasy and the linguist rushed to reassure her.

“Liv! No! Gosh, no, I- It was so long ago. Twenty years or so. I’d almost forgotten,” she stuttered and Liv nodded, managing a small smile before deducing:

“Then the vampires happened.”

“Yes…” Helen confirmed and tried her best to outline her feelings on the matter as she had contemplated them at length, even if she hadn’t voiced them: “And as much as I hate that, it’s also what got me thinking, wondering about myself and working out my feelings and- equally, if it hadn’t been for that, I don’t think I’d have been able to figure out how I feel about you,” she concluded softly.

“And how do you feel about me?” Liv asked with a touch of insecurity that Helen hadn’t seen from her where their relationship was concerned. She had always been steadfast, relying on the years they had known each other now and the many experiences they had made that bound them together. There had never been any doubt and the fact that she felt the need to ask for assurance now told Helen all she needed to know: she had to put things right and explain herself in full so that her girlfriend understood that there was no reason to doubt.

“I love you,” Helen told her firmly and reached out to touch her cheek. “As well you know.” She gave her a hopeful smile and Liv nodded her understanding.

“So tell me what’s holding you back?” She requested.

“My first and only experience I had… it was the reason why I couldn’t let myself feel like this for- well- until I met you,” the linguist explained softly. Her voice was shaky but her words clear.

“What was her name?” Liv asked.

“Jean. We went to school together. We were close. Good friends. Though my parents never approved,” she recalled. Her mind filled with images of the past. Of afternoons of revision which was the only reason her parents had allowed Jean to visit, always under their watchful eyes when they had wanted to do so many things other than studying…

“Why was that?” Liv frowned, returning her to the present and the linguist shrugged.

“Maybe they suspected that-” She stopped herself. Her parents surely hadn’t suspected. If they had, she would have known about it, given her father’s reaction where Albie was concerned… “Jean was always a bit different. Wild. Outspoken. Confident. She knew what she wanted and wasn’t scared of anything or anyone. That’s what got her in trouble in the end.” She considered how those denominators also applied to the woman in front of her. It seemed she was drawn to a certain type of person, the determined, head-strong kind.

“You weren’t… found out or-” Liv’s brow scrunched with concern and Helen quickly shook her head.

“Gosh, no, thankfully. But we- we were close. There was this Sunday morning…" The linguist dropped her gaze to the floor and a blush of embarrassment crept to her cheeks, as she wasn’t used to talking about these things and the nature of the memory was intense. “We should have been in church but we snuck out. Neither one of us particularly cared for religion, even then…” She chuckled. “We went to the park instead, it was a nice day for a walk but Jean had different ideas… We went down to the boating lake, there was no-one around at that time of day and she took my hand and pulled me along behind the boat house…” Her voice gave out and her girlfriend easily filled the silence before it could become heavy:

“Hmm… can’t really blame her for that, sounds like the sort of thing I’d like to do with you…” she offered with a little smirk. She let go of her hands and stepped closer, bringing her hands back to her hips before pressing a tender kiss to her cheek.

“I bet you would,” Helen chuckled, feeling a little better as she looped her arms around her shoulders and rested her head against the side of hers. She was in need of her closeness and the comfort she so easily gave. There was nowhere she felt safer or more at home than in Liv’s arms.

“So you…” The med-tech prompted after a moment of silence.

“We’d kissed before that. Not much, not- you know- passionately but enough to know it was what we both liked and- well, she kissed me rather differently then,” Helen recalled, glad not to have to look in her eyes as she did so. “I’m sure I don’t have to give you the gross details of everything else she did…”

Liv dug her nails into Helen’s hips, the only thing leading on about the jealousy that was likely burning inside her, but she remained silent, obviously continuing to listen intently.

“What happened after?” She asked at last and the linguist needed another moment to build up the courage to answer.

“We both got told off for sneaking away. My parents were angry but they didn’t suspect anything untoward so dropped the matter. Jean’s parents however…” Helen stalled for a moment, fighting the tears that threatened her eyes. “I don’t know, maybe they did suspect something, I don’t know what she may or may not have said to them but- the next day, Jean wasn’t in school,” she explained. “When I got home, I found a note from her. I was lucky my parents didn’t open it, goodness knows what would have happened if they had-”

“What did it say?” Liv questioned, pressing a kiss of comfort to the top of her head, assurance of her continued affection. Her voice, warm and melodic as it always was, remained free of judgement.

“That her parents were sending her away to some boarding school in the country. To have her straightened out,” Helen answered bitterly and pulled away. She brushed the tears from her face that had won out. “Funny way of putting it,” she huffed.

“Helen-” Liv started, she tried to pull her back into her arms but the linguist took a step back, shaking her head as she leaned against the console.

“No, let me finish,” she held her girlfriend at arms length and took a deep breath. “She was going to run away, and she wanted me to come with her. We weren’t far off coming of age and she told me of this life we could have together if only I was brave enough to-” Her voice failed and so did her composure. “I wasn’t brave enough. I ran scared,” she confessed with a sob as her tears started to fall properly.

“Oh Helen,” Liv whispered, her expression heartbroken.

“I never even- I had no way of telling her,” the linguist continued through tears. “She told me where to meet her and that she loved me and that I- And I didn’t go. She would have waited for me and I never turned up.” She hugged her arms around herself and the med-tech looked on, helpless.

“Do you know what happened to her after that?” She asked gently.

“Her parents came around to talk to my parents the day after. Jean had, in fact, run away. I had lost her,” Helen whispered, regaining her composure slowly. “And I had no way of finding her again, even if I’d tried.”

“And did you try?” Liv questioned and the linguist gave a sad smile.

“No.” She shook her head as she wiped her eyes. “And I think that’s the worst thing about it. I decided the risk was too great. That it wasn’t worth the danger, the fear, the prosecution when all we would ever have would be stolen moments, hidden away from prying eyes, secret rendezvous and unspoken desires and- What sort of life would that be? For anyone? I had long burned her note so even when they asked me if I knew where she was, there was nothing to find,” she explained bitterly. “And I feel so guilty. That’s why I never-”

She looked up to Liv for judgement that didn’t come.

“It’s okay, Helen. You were young. You did what you thought was right at the time. You were protecting yourself,” the med-tech replied once it was clear that her girlfriend had concluded her confessional.

“That’s not what it feels like. It feels like I betrayed her,” the linguist whispered and even though it hurt to admit these things, there was also a measure of release to being able to tell someone at last.

“As you said, it was twenty years ago. It’s time that you stopped punishing yourself.” Liv reached for her cheek, brushed her thumb through her trails of tears and regarded her with a soft, affectionate smile. “In all likelihood, she was just fine. She went her own way. And if she was as independent and strong-willed as you say, she would have prevailed and made her life a success. She would have found someone and as lovely as I’m sure your misadventures behind the boat house were… I’m sure she didn’t stop herself from loving again because of that.”

“Oh, you think I’m that forgettable, do you?” Helen chuckled and found she felt a little better as she allowed her girlfriend’s words to sink in.

“Well, I haven’t had the pleasure of that experience yet,” the med-tech smirked and provoked a small laugh from the linguist, encouragement enough to keep going. “In all seriousness though… I think you have repented enough. Twenty years is an awfully long time to deny yourself love.”

“I suppose so…” Helen had no choice but to concede as much, and she brushed a strand of her girlfriend's hair behind her ear. “You ought to take some pride in the fact that you managed to draw me out after so long.”

“Hmm. Just couldn’t resist the temptation, could you?” Liv grinned and little by little, the heaviness around them lifted.

“You are impossible to resist,” the linguist agreed as she looped her arms around her neck. “The moment I found you in my office…” It was a fond memory. She could remember it vividly still. Liv had looked like a deer in headlights, eyes wide and cheeks pinked from the cold outside and the embarrassment of having been caught. The way she had stuttered her greeting had been utterly endearing. Little had Helen known at the time that that was what love at first sight felt like…

“You’ve been wanting to get it on with me?” Liv finished the thought with a smug grin and Helen laughed.

“Something like that,” she confirmed lightly and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She felt a lot better. Her confession hadn’t had any adverse effects as she had feared. Her girlfriend regarded her with the same level of affection as before and she could breathe easily.

“And do you still want to now?” She asked gently and Helen smiled.

“So long as you do. If you can forgive that I might struggle on occasion and-”

“I just want you to be comfortable. I can wait,” Liv told her in all seriousness, brushing the last of her tears away.

“I can’t. Not anymore. It’s been twenty years,” the linguist laughed, feeling lighter than she had in a long time. “Besides, I have been looking forward to this,” she continued, though the admission made her blush. “How about we just see how we go?” Gingerly, she pressed another kiss to her lips, and then to her jaw, and another just below her ear.

“If you need more time…” Liv’s breath hitched but she gave her another opportunity to object anyway.

“I don’t need more time. I think I just needed to tell you. I just needed you to understand.” She found her lips again in a deep kiss.

“I do,” the med-tech confirmed earnestly, looking straight into her eyes to make sure she knew she was serious.

Helen smiled.

“I love you, Liv,” she said, resting their foreheads together.

“I love you too, Helen,” Liv gave back with a fond smile.

“Now… do you think we could carry on where we left off?” Helen asked with a suggestive smirk and just like that, the atmosphere went from sombre to charged.

“I’m all yours,” the med-tech confirmed and kissed her. Helen grinned against her lips and took the initiative, fumbling with the buttons of her girlfriend’s shirt. Liv laughed at her eagerness and took up the task of trailing kisses along her throat once more, delighting in the soft moans and sighs she drew from her.

“Now, are you going to tell me what she did to you?” The med-tech hummed against the base of her throat, sucking at the soft skin there. “So I can be sure to-”

“Gosh, are you jealous?” Helen giggled as she pulled her shirt off her. “It was twenty years ago.”

“And the only experience to have tied you over,” her girlfriend countered, evidently spurred on as she unclipped her bra. “Of course I’m jealous!” She flung it away and Helen shuddered with nerves and anticipation. She felt exposed and tensed up, though Liv’s soft touch along her curves was anything but uncomfortable. It was feather light, tracing the lines of her body as if she was marvelling at a work of art. Her fingertips brushed over her nipples and Helen’s breath caught at the unfamiliar and utterly pleasurable sensation. Jean hadn’t dared to undress her in this manner or been so thorough in her attentions.

“I want to be all you think about,” Liv whispered as if she had sensed her mind wandering, and she replaced her fingers with her mouth, sucking one nipple between her lips and keeping her fingers on the other.

Helen gasped, utterly unprepared for the strong sensation.

“You are. You have been for so long,” Helen responded with a throaty moan, burying her hands in her girlfriend’s hair. Slowly but surely her inhibitions were falling away. Liv seemed to know exactly what she was doing and it all felt wonderful. The linguist had expected to feel self-conscious about her lack of experience, but Liv didn’t allow her to feel any of those insecurities. It did, however, encourage her to say more. “Forty years, remember? Forty years, that’s how long I’ve thought about you-” When she had been travelling alone in the TARDIS on her quest to find St. Nicholas, there had been so many lonely nights when only the memory of her had kept her going.

“Hmm…” This seemed to appease Liv as she smiled against the soft skin of her breast, taking great care to caress every inch. With her free hand, she traced up her thigh. “’Suppose that means it was over sixty years ago since you-”

“I suppose so.” Helen was breathless and feeling bold, she reached for her hand on her thigh, guided it upward. “So you better make up for that.”

“Oh, I intend to,” Liv grinned, running her tongue across her nipple once more and her fingers against the fabric of her pants. “You are the most important - the only - thing in my life. All things past pale in comparison,” she whispered, claiming her mouth in another passionate kiss. Then she pulled away and grabbed her hand. “Come.” She gave her a tug.

“Bedroom after all? Scared the Doctor will walk in?” Helen chuckled.

“Just come along!” The med-tech insisted and bent down to quickly pick up their discarded clothes. There was no need for the Doctor to find them.

“Alright.”

Helen allowed her girlfriend to lead the way, further into the corridors that made up their home until they reached their bedroom. Anticipation was pulling in her gut, a tight sensation that radiated tingling heat and mounted the moment Liv threw the door shut behind them.

“This is better, right?” She questioned as she took a moment to look her up and down. Her desire was written all over her face.

“Well, there was something quite thrilling about the console room, too,” the linguist laughed lightly but didn’t struggle when she manoeuvred her towards the bed.

“Thing is, Helen, it’s not about the thrill. Or the danger. Or whatever,” Liv mumbled in between kisses, raking her hands through her hair as she undid her ponytail. “This is our home,” she continued and pushed her down to sit on the bed. “This is our life. It’s ours. Every part of it.” She reached around herself and undid her bra, threw it away carelessly and Helen looked up at her in awe, overwhelmed by her advances and words alike.

“I’m yours. In every way,” Liv told her firmly and grasped her face. “What you were saying about it not being much of a life when you have to hide away… we don’t have to hide. We have a life that is so full of love,” she gave her a warm smile, filled with the love she spoke off. Deep emotions that touched Helen’s very soul. She feared she might tear up again, but Liv held her attention firmly as she sunk to her knees between her legs. “And I am going to do whatever I can to make you happy.” She unclipped her stockings one by one, kissed the insides of her thighs as she rolled them down and took her heels off too.

Helen’s breath caught in her throat when Liv pulled her forward to the edge of the mattress and reached around her to unzip her skirt. The linguist’s heart hammered in her chest. She wasn’t sure what she had hoped for but this exceeded every expectation. She had never felt more appreciated, more cherished, more wanted.

Liv knelt up and kissed her once more, pouring her emotions into the heated meeting of lips. She pushed her tongue inside her mouth, making her groan and whimper.

“And that includes making love to you,” she whispered, returning her hands to her girlfriend’s hips, looping her fingers around her underwear. She tugged at the fabric and Helen lifted herself up, allowing her to relieve her of her last item of clothing. “On a bed we share every night. Nothing thrilling. Nothing dangerous. Nothing illicit. Just… life. Normal life,” Liv spoke against her lips and the linguist released a shaky breath.

“Oh Liv…” She cradled her girlfriend’s face, close to tears once more. She was right. Of course she was. She had nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to fear. Everything had fallen into place. It was just them in the quiet of their bedroom. This moment belonged only to them. It was the realisation of the magnetic pull that had existed between them since they first met. Looking back now, it had been inevitable. They were inevitable.

“Get on the bed,” Liv hummed and Helen’s chest tightened with anticipation.

“Finish undressing first,” she gave back softly. It wasn’t just that she wanted them to be on equal footing, it was the fact that she had spent far too long merely imagining.

“Alright,” the med-tech chuckled and got to her feet again. She kicked off her boots first and Helen watched with bated breath. She leaned forward, traced her fingers over her collar bone, slowly down to the valley of her breasts and as she pressed her hand to her chest, she could feel the racing of her heart.

“You’re beautiful,” Helen told her softly, continuing her feather-light touch along her breasts and making her shudder.

“You’re a fine one to talk,” Liv mumbled, biting back a moan. She unzipped her trousers and the linguist helped her along, dragging the tight jeans down and as she did so, she leaned forward pressing her lips against her lower abdomen. “Helen…” the med-tech groaned as she grew bolder and brought her hand down between her legs. She found her pants wet and her hips buckling forward. Helen had no experience to fall back on. She was going on instinct alone, but she seemed to be doing something right. She dragged her pants down, eager to carry on but Liv grabbed her wrist before she could.

“Lie down,” she repeated and this time, the linguist allowed herself to be pushed back into the pillows. Liv climbed on top of her, pushing her thigh between her legs. Helen moaned, instinctively pushing her hips against her, a welcome precursor to what was yet to come.

The med-tech hovered over her for a moment, hands either side of her torso and Helen reached out, brushed the hair back that was falling into her face. Liv mirrored her gesture. She brushed her bangs out of her eyes and gave her an adoring smile.

“I want this, Liv,” Helen whispered. “I want you.” And she pulled her down to kiss her and rocked her hips against her thigh and it was all the encouragement her girlfriend needed. She did, however, take her time which the linguist appreciated in the way that she made her feel at ease, but also fanned the flames of her desire. A need was building inside her that she hadn’t experienced before. When she had been with Jean, it had been a spur of the moment thing. Lovely, yet brief. Fulfilling, but fleeting. Liv, on the contrary, mapped her body with her hands and lips, obviously determined to pay close attention to every part of her. Helen’s skin tingled with her touch, she grew hot and breathless and the pull in her gut became unbearable.

“Liv, please-” Helen whimpered and Liv smiled as she kissed her way back up to her lips. She shifted on top of her and shimmied both of her legs in between the linguist’s, pushing them apart. And then, she hand down between her legs at last. The linguist gasped.

“Relax,” Liv whispered, pressing her forehead against hers. She watched every reaction of hers intently, every whimper, every sigh, as she dragged her fingers through her wetness and found her clit, drawing lazy circles around it.

“Oh god-” Helen wanted to pull away at first, the sensation was so intense but slowly, she grew accustomed to it. She could hear her blood rushing in her ears as she pressed her eyes shut and clawed her nails into her girlfriend’s back. If Liv minded, she didn’t let on. She caressed her cheek with her free hand, then slowly eased a finger inside her.

“Tell me if I’m hurting you,” she mumbled, peppering her face with kisses.

“Please keep going,” Helen whispered, releasing a shaky breath and her girlfriend did as she was asked. Gently, she pushed further. The linguist groaned. She held Liv close, held on to her as she adjusted to the unfamiliar feeling. She couldn’t be sure how much of it was instinct, how much conscious desire, but it was just what she needed and she rocked her hips onto her hand.

“I love you, Helen,” Liv hummed to her ear and wrapped her arm around her shoulders as she started moving her fingers inside her.

“Fuck, Liv-” Helen sobbed, as pleasure and a dash of pain blended together in an intense mixture of sensations and her girlfriend held up for a moment.

“Are you okay?” The med-tech asked, evidently worried but her girlfriend just nodded again and again.

“Yes- Please just- keep going,” she whispered, rocking her hips against her hand and Liv took her cue. She settled into a steady rhythm and soon, there was no more discomfort or pain as Helen moved with her. Heat spread to every corner of her body, muscles tensing and she panted. She met her thrusts that grew more forceful the more she adjusted to it. Liv seemed to be able to read her perfectly as she rested her head against hers, whispering encouraging nothings in her beautiful, melodic voice and it drove Helen wild as she lost herself in what she was feeling.

“I’ve got you,” Liv told her as the sensations started mounting, pushing the linguist towards a breaking point she hadn’t realised she had.

“Liv, oh god-” she felt as though she was going to rip apart. Her muscles burned. Her heart was hammering so fast, she feared it might give out. Liv brushed her hair back that stuck to her forehead with sweat.

“Just let go,” she whispered to her and brushed her thumb to her clit.

It was no voluntary thing, Helen couldn’t have controlled it had she tried. Her muscles seized up and her body shook. A wave of heat rushed through her and her nerve endings fired in a whirlwind of sensations. Liv held her through it. She slowed her movement and helped her down gently, but Helen found herself utterly overwhelmed. She covered her face with her hand and gasped for breath, tears spilling from her eyes.

“Helen, it’s okay,” Liv pulled her hands from her and pushed herself up so she could cup her face. “Did I- Did I hurt you?” She asked insecurely and Helen wiped her cheeks as best as she could.

“No, I just-” She couldn’t describe it. It was as if years of pent up tension, regrets and fears had fallen off her in one liberating strike. “I guess it’s the pressure lifting and-” Her voice was hoarse and gave out but it didn’t matter. Liv seemed to understand as she gave her a warm smile.

“Come here,” she climbed off her and lay down, opening her arms to her. It was an invitation Helen could hardly refuse and even though her muscles ached, she rolled over and shimmied up to her.

“Thank you, Liv,” she whispered as she rested her head on her shoulder. She put her hand onto her chest, right above her heart that she could feel beating away, even and strong. “Thank you for- just- thank you.”

“Thank you for letting me in,” Liv smiled and kissed the top of her head, as she wrapped her arms around her. “I know it wasn’t easy but I promise, it’ll be worth it.”

“It already is,” Helen whispered, tracing her fingers along her girlfriend’s ribs. “Since you came into my life, I-”

“What?” The med-tech prompted gently when she broke off.

“The life I’d led until then… it never felt like my own. It wasn’t what I’d wanted or needed or- and the fact that I got to leave it behind for this-” It was almost too much to comprehend. “Some days I still can’t quite believe it.”

“Me neither…” Liv admitted, pressing another kiss to her head. “You saved me. I was in such a dark place before I met you…”

“Let’s not dwell on the past any longer,” Helen decided, finding herself oddly free of the memories and thought patterns that had plagued her for so long. All was said and done. She pushed herself upright and grasped her girlfriend’s face. “Let’s focus on the future,” she smiled.