2019.01.11

Such a special day.

I always wanted to go to a super cool course in Göttingen. Last year I contacted the prof that even though I was not involved in their program I still wanted to participate. In the end I had to attend conference instead...This year I cannot find the same course anymore, feeling upset, I went to the website again, but found out that the prof I contacted passed away last year in young age.

Later I went to institution talking about volunteer...and met the residence, I felt such a respect and welcoming atmosphere from everyone, people came to me and shake my hand, call me “Sie” even they are much senior, and I am impressed by their talent and personalities, although some of them even are shamed by their family, or in general they need care and supervison.

Then I went to the gym, I saw pretty young girls wearing heavy make up, chunk guys constantly looking and feeling their own muscle, kids looking around feeling self conscious or amused.

I cannot read and understand everyone’s story, even though I am curious and fascinated (I even cannot figure out mine!). I remembered when I was 10, I just got to learn how to use chatroom online, so I sneaked into the chatroom (of course my parents didn’t know!) and talked with a university student, I told him I was mature and I hated to be childish, “so please don’t think that you can read me”. And he replied, “I cannot read anyone, even myself”. I never knew about him, I guess he is now in his 40s.

I am just looking at the note I sticked on my printer “practice your struggles”, well so far so good, now struggles even start to be enjoyable.