#oumamitojo

The mansion was as packed as it always was, people moving hurriedly from room to room, the screams of frustrated teens and hyperactive children filling the air. He waved at one of his sisters walking between rooms, a train of children holding on the back of her shirt. He looked forward to catching up with her. He still hadn't found all of his sisters yet, but he hadn't given up on looking, not yet. But first, there was someone else he needed to talk to.

He headed to the dining room, surprised to find that it was nearly empty. They must have had lunch already for it to be this empty. Luckily for him, both of the people that he needed to speak to were already there.

Kokichi slammed his hands on the table, rattling the tea set that sat before him, as he pushed himself to his feet. The chair scraped as harshly against the floor as Kokichi's glare did against Rantaro. "Look who finally decided to show up!"

Kirumi looked up from her sweeping, a small frown on her lips. She very carefully put the broom aside, leaning it against the wall and stepping around the small pile of dust that she had been gathering. Her eyes were trailing over him before she'd even reached his side. She reached out for one of his arms and then the other, brusquely checking him for injuries before dropping down to do the same quick inspection on his legs. Once she determined that he was fine, she stood back up, subjecting him to the full force of her gaze.

"You didn't write." That was all she said but the quiet chastisement hit him even harder than Kokichi's glare. He knew that Kokichi would forgive him a bit more easily than Kirumi.

"I'm sorry," he told her.

Kirumi didn't accept his apology. She walked back over to where she had left the broom, picked it up, and returned to her work as if she had never stopped.

"You have a lot of nerve to walk in here after not contacting us for weeks," Kokichi said, still glaring. Kokichi moved around the table and at first Rantaro thought that he was going to storm over the way Kirumi had, but no. All he did was take a spot in front of Kirumi, cross his arms, and glare. It took him a minute to realize that he was protecting Kirumi from Rantaro. Geez, were they really that mad.

Rantaro scratched the back of his head with a guilty laugh. "Guess I really messed up, huh?"

Kokichi's eyes narrowed. That had obviously been the wrong response. "You're lucky we don't kick you out of here!"

Rantaro smiled. Despite how mad they were at him, it still warmed his heart to see how close they had become. "You wouldn't do that," he said softly, but confidently. "A Supreme Leader never leaves anyone behind, right?"

It was something Kokichi had said many times. He used to think that it was a lie, an exaggeration at best, but in all the years that they had been together, all the years since he had joined Dice, it had remained true. Even those that chose to leave, Rantaro had seen Kokichi jump to help them when they called. Once you were a member of Dice, you were a member for life.

Rantaro could tell that his statement was very well appreciated, so he moved on to defending himself. "I didn't mean to go so long without writing," he told them. "I ran into some trouble, and…"

"And that's why you should write," Kokichi interrupted. "We can't help you if we don't even know where you are."

He sighed and looked down. "I know."

"If something were to happen to you," Kirumi said softly, not looking at him. "We would feel the same way that you do about your sisters. You know that, correct?"

Rantaro swallowed thickly. He'd been ignoring it until now, but the guilt was starting to bubble up and wrap around him now. "I know," he said softly.

Kokichi huffed and stomped over to him, reaching up to fling his forehead, something that was only possible because of how Rantaro was hanging his head. "If you know, then don't do it again, dummy. The kids were worried too."

Rantaro rubbed the sore spot on his forehead, but he figured it was probably fair compensation. "I'll try to be more careful."

Kokichi nodded, "Good." Then his face broke out into a wide grin. "Now that you're here, we can plan a welcome back dinner! We'll let the kids decide if they want to help and you'll have to eat whatever they make, no matter how gross it is. Penalty."

Rantaro sighed. He might have seen that coming. "Alright."

"But first!" Kokichi grabbed his wrist. "You just got back, so it's off to decontamination with you!"

Rantaro didn't protest as Kokichi pulled him along. He just looked back at Kirumi, disheartened to see that she didn't even look up at him.

He had been skeptical at first, when Kokichi had asked him to join Dice. He hadn't known Kokichi that well and his reputation had preceded him from what he heard of the others, but he had agreed anyway. At worst, it was a lie and at best… Well, Rantaro would be lying if he said that he hadn't missed company since his siblings disappeared.

The fact that Kirumi had been the only other person to accept Kokichi's offer had seemed strange to him at first too. If Kokichi was really as bad as everyone said he was, then he couldn't imagine someone like Kirumi taking him up on his offer. It hadn't taken long for things to become clear though. Not once Kokichi told him more about Dice.

Some things about their backstories might have been fake, Rantaro didn't actually have twelve sisters, just five, and Kirumi hadn't been prime minister, but not all of it was. Kokichi was still a leader, Kirumi still wanted to help people, and Rantaro still needed a place to come home to.

The pseudo-orphanage that was Dice was a better place than Rantaro could have made it on his own. He had provided the place, his family home was empty, both his parents kept themselves busy oversees and his sisters were scattered. He'd wanted someone to share the space with. Kokichi had provided the members, easily rounding up what was left of Dice and rallying them, helping them recover. Kirumi provided the care.

Kokichi and Kirumi were a better team than he had thought. Underneath all the lies and childishness, Kokichi was a really good leader. He stayed on top of things, he knew how to persuade people, how to help take their mind off of things that bothered them. Kirumi, meanwhile, was better at the more domestic aspects of caretaking. The cooking, the cleaning, and making sure that Kokichi didn't get in over his head. Many nights Rantaro had found them together, heads bent close, as they talked over paperwork and budgets and other logistics that weren't his forte.

Rantaro sometimes felt like he was just a third wheel to their dynamic. But then, he could do something for them both that they couldn't do for each other. He could make them rest.

Kirumi never took a break if she could help it. Even worse, she worked when she was stressed, making her cook and clean that much harder to try and feel useful to others when she didn't feel useful to herself. Sometimes she needed him to take the broom out of her hands, force her to sit down, and massage her shoulders until she was truly relaxing.

Likewise, Kokichi looked like he was goofing off most of the time, but that wasn't really true. He worked hard to take care of others, to get them what they needed, and he would let himself get hurt if it helped someone else and never say a word about it. Kokichi needed someone that he could be himself with, that he didn't have to worry so much about, someone that he could actually talk to that wouldn't judge or worry. Rantaro didn't think he had many skills, not in comparison to them, but he could listen. He could give Kokichi a reason to slow down and rest.

Thinking about it, maybe they all balanced each other out better than he thought.

Kokichi dragged him all the way to his room, kicking the door open so that he didn't have to let go of Rantaro's hand. "We're here!" Kokichi announced as he pulled him forward. He tugged the bag off of Rantaro's shoulder and pushed him toward the bathroom. "Go! Wash off the filth of travel you grimy vagabond!"

"Kokichi, you don't have to be so forceful," he said, though he didn't resist the pushing at all. "And what about my clothes?"

"Clothes are for responsible people that don't lose their luggage on every trip," he said, making Rantaro flush with embarrassment. "Yeah, don't think I didn't notice that."

Rantaro sighed, allowing himself to be pushed into the bathroom and accepting his fate when the door was slammed behind him. Kokichi was probably going to go through his bag and take inventory of what was left. He could stop him, had done so before on the occasion he came back with presents or something personal, but he didn't have anything to hide. On the contrary, he probably didn't remember most of what he was supposed to have on him as well as Kokichi did.

It wasn't worth worrying about.

Halfway through his shower he heard the door open and when he stepped out a few minutes later, there was a stack of clothes folded by the door for him. He smiled as he went to retrieve them. They weren't something he recognized, but they were his style. Were they a gift? The thought made Rantaro smile.

Kokichi was still in his room when he came out of the bathroom, eyes downcast and kicking his feet as he sat on the edge of the bed. He looked up when the door opened and smiled at Rantaro. It was smaller than the one that he'd been given earlier, less of a lie.

"Hey," Rantaro said quietly, coming to sit on the bed beside him. "I didn't think you'd wait for me."

"Well, you still have a debriefing to do," Kokichi told him. It wasn't the bombastic proclamation that he had been making before. Maybe because they were alone now, behind closed doors where the only eyes watching them were their own.

Tentatively, he put his hand on Kokichi's, wanting to see whether or not he would pull away. He didn't, but he also didn't reciprocate the affectionate gesture, so Rantaro guessed he was still in trouble.

"You can't keep doing this, you know," Kokichi said quietly.

The words made something cold go down his spine and his hand on Kokichi's held just a little tighter. He tried to keep that worry out of his voice when he responded. "Doing what?"

"Disappearing." Kokichi met his eyes when he said it. His face wasn't the blank, emotionless mask that Kokichi often liked to wear when speaking his true feelings, but it wasn't open either. Rantaro couldn't read anything beneath the neutrality.

" I can't just give up--"

"That's not what I'm talking about," Kokichi said, interrupting him. "I wouldn't ever tell you not to look for them, you know that."

He should know that. No man left behind was practically a Dice motto. Even if no one else was with him, even if no one else believed in him, hell even if Kokichi himself didn't think Rantaro could do it, he would still never try to make him stop.

But that left him even more confused. He frowned, trying to search Kokichi's face for clues and coming up empty. "Then what…"

"Did you know Kirumi cries when you're gone?"

Rantaro's eyes widened, feeling smacked in the face by such an abrupt truth. "What?"

Kokichi's neutral expression remained in place, but his voice became harder. "The last letter you sent said that you might get into trouble and then you just went dark. How do you think she felt?"

He dropped his eyes to the floor, not wanting to keep staring at that blank face. There was nothing he could say in response. An apology didn't really cut it did it? He didn't want to make promises that he might not be able to keep. He didn't know for sure that he wouldn't one day go out and get himself in over his head.

"She tried to pretend that she wasn't bothered," Kokichi went on. "She'll say that she's sure you're fine. We'd know if anything happened. But we wouldn't, would we? You would just be gone and we'd never know why. I found her crying in the kitchen, trying to scrub imaginary stains out of the tiles because it's the only thing she thinks she can do."

"Kokichi…"

"They beg us not to let you leave, you know." Kokichi's gaze was harsh when Rantaro looked up at him, the blankness breaking apart as his anger started to rise. "Your sisters are terrified that you won't come back one day."

"I will."

"You don't know that!" Kokichi yelled. pushing himself off the bed and pulling his hand from Rantaro's. "You don't know that you'll be fine. You don't know if you'll make it back to us. You get lost or trapped or, hell, maybe you'll hit your head and get amnesia, forget all about us, and we won't even know where to look for you!"

Rantaro pulled Kokichi into his arms, surprising him so much that he went silent in Rantaro's embrace. "I'll come back," Rantaro said. "I won't leave the two of you alone."

Kokichi was stiff in his arms for a long moment before the tension finally leaked out of him a bit. He placed his hand on Rantaro's head, petting him gently. "You won't," Kokichi said softly. "One day you won't come back. How will we find you if you don't even tell us where you are."

"I'm sorry." The apology slipped out even though Rantaro decided nit to let it. The last thing he wanted was to make things worse or be called insincere.

Kokichi didn't do that though. Instead, his arms came around Rantaro, as if trying to comfort him even though Kokichi was the one upset. Or… maybe they both were. Maybe Rantaro was just as upset with himself for upsetting them as they were for being upset.

"We'll always be here for you to come back," Kokichi said. "But if something happens to you, I need a way to bring you home. What kind of supreme leader would I be otherwise."

Rantaro found himself relaxing into the embrace as well. He hadn't thought that he needed reassurance. He knew that Kokichi wouldn't really kick him out, that they wanted him around. It was still comforting to hear though. Kokichi did show affection the same way most people did. He didn't say sappy phrases or make big promises. But he did mean the things he said when he finally said them. Rantaro could go anywhere, had been nearly everywhere, but knowing that he would have a home to come back to? That meant more to him than he could ever say.

"I'm going to get you chipped," Kokichi told him.

"Probably for the best," he agreed softly.

Kokichi squeezed him once, taking comfort for himself, then he let go. "You're still on the hook for Kirumi."

"I know."

This wasn't over yet. Rantaro knew that even as Kokichi pulled away and went to the door. This had to have been boiling under the surface for a while and he'd need to do a lot more to make it right than just hand out a few apologies.

With a fortifying breath, Rantaro pushed himself to his feet and went to go see Kirumi. She was no longer in the kitchen. She wasn't in her room either, when he went to look for her. It took a few minutes of hunting around before he found her in the garden. She was on her hands and knees, pulling weeds and placing them in a basket for later disposal.

She didn't look at him, so he crouched down beside her. "Hey, mind if we talk?"

"Is there something to talk about?" she asked, her tone just a little icy.

Rantaro hung his head a bit. "I don't really know how to make this up to you," he told her. Unlike Kokichi, it was better to try and be straightforward with Kirumi when he could. She didn't always like to address her own feelings so bluntly, but when it was someone else? She'd rather you just say what you want to say than dance around it.

"I don't believe that you can," Kirumi told him. She still hadn't looked at him, eyes focused on sweeping the ground for anything that didn't belong so that she could root it out. "You cannot take back what you've already done."

"I know."

"And you can never restore the peace that I lost on those nights."

Rantaro let out a heavy sigh. "You're right." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "So what can I do?"

Kirumi took a breath, finally pausing in her weeding. She turned to look at him, expression a mix between anger and sadness. "I don't know. Anything I could tell you to do, you likely wouldn't. Anything you would do, probably won't be enough."

It hurt a bit, to see the struggle so plain on her face. He'd been gone a long time, longer than his usual trips, so he shouldn't be surprised that things were harder to deal with this time. He reached to take her hand, not at all minding the dirt from her gloves getting on her hands.

"Rantaro, no, your hands…"

"They'll be fine," he assured her. "And so will we."

Kirumi looked from their joined hands to his eyes, eyes just a bit wide with hope and surprise. "Pardon?"

"We'll be okay," he said again. "It's alright that you're upset with me. I know that… I must have worried you and Kokichi a lot. I didn't mean to do that. But I never do and it happened anyway. So… yeah, something has to change, but… that change doesn't have to be something bad."

Kirumi's hand squeezed his. "I cannot forgive you so easily," she told him. "Kokichi might, but I…"

"I know," he told her. "You're not the same, I don't expect you to react the same way."

He saw her shoulders relax and marveled at the fact that he was managing to say something that could put her at ease. He was surprised that she was so worried, but also… he wasn't that surprised at all. Kirumi wore just as many masks as Kokichi, even if hers were the opposite. She liked to seem so mature and on top of things, even when she was sad or falling apart.

Rantaro moved a bit closer to her, letting her head rest close to hers. "I'm glad to be back. I missed you. You may not believe it, but I did. I always do."

Kirumi leaned her head against his, closing her eyes. "I believe you. I just wished that…"

"That what?" he questioned softly.

"I wish when you left, you would take us with you."

Rantaro pulled back to look at her, startled by the words. "What?"

"I know it's unreasonable," she hastened to say. "Someone needs to stay here to look after everyone and… and I'm sure I'd only get in your way but…"

"You wouldn't!" he said fiercely. "You could never be in the way, Kirumi."

She smiled then, the iciness melting from her a bit. "I wish one of us was there to look after you. Kokichi and I, we have each other, but you're always alone. I think about that and I…" She shook her head. "I feel selfish even missing you, when I know that you must miss us so much more. At least we aren't alone here."

Rantaro squeezed her hand tighter. "I didn't know you felt that way."

Kirumi dropped her gaze. "I just figured… that it was something you wanted to do alone. That you would have asked us if you wanted us to come. It's just… I hate watching you leave all the time when I'm never really certain that I'll see you return."

Rantaro couldn't stand to see her this way. He thought of Kokichi and that single squeeze he gave Rantaro, unwilling to ask for comfort despite wanting it. He thought of Kirumi potentially crying alone in the night all over him. He didn't want to be the reason they felt so sad.

"Kirumi, let's have dinner alone tonight, the three of us."

"But…"

"I know that Kokichi wanted us to have a big thing, but I think that can wait a day. If… if you're willing. I just want to spend time with you. With both of you. Then… we can talk."

Kirumi finally smiled. It was a little sad, but there was relief as well. "Alright," she nodded. "Just the three of us."