#irounaga

Miu closed her eyes, still feeling the hot sting of tears and hating it, hating it, hating it. Why was there always some asshole trying to ruin her good time? And why did they always bring up…

She wanted to scream, but all that came out was a sob instead. She hoped that he was gone. She never wanted to see his face again, but if he wasn't… the door was locked. She could stay in this bathroom all night if that's what it took. All day. Long enough for hotel staff to come and kick her out if that's what it took. Anything so that she wouldn't have to be alone with that prick anymore.

She pushed her hair from her face, only then noticing the mess that she had accidentally left there and frowning at it. God, it was so disgusting. She needed a shower, but didn't think she could walk the ten steps that it would take to get her there. Instead, she curled up on the bathroom floor and just sobbed harder.

It should have been fine. She should have been fine. She was a gorgeous girl genius. She was a fucking star! But all anyone wanted to talk about was "Do you remember how it felt to die?" "Hey, can I choke you?" "How do you feel about rope?"

How the fuck did they think she felt about it? How the fuck would they feel?

Why did they think it was okay to bring up her death every other second?

Fuck them! Fuck Team Danganronpa! The royalties didn't pay enough to put up with this shit. Not at all. Not even close.

She could still feel the throbbing at her core and it made her think she might be sick again. It felt good… at first. Before he decided to put a hand on her throat just to see how she'd react. Before he'd laughed at her panic and tried to hold her down.

"Don't be that way, Miu. It's just a little callback."

Yeah, a callback to her fucking death!

Miu pushed herself up and this time she made it to the toilet. Crawling on her hands and knees, but she made it. She even managed to remember to push her hair back this time. Not that it changed the mess that she'd already gotten on herself, but…

Miu pressed her head to the cold tiles of the floor as she curled up again. She hated how aware of her body she was at this moment. She felt her skin burning everywhere that he had touched her. She could remember what he fucking smelled like. She didn't think she'd be able to escape the memory of his cologne if someone paid her to invent a machine to wipe her own memory.

She wished that she had her phone with her, but she'd tossed it somewhere on the bed and hadn't grabbed it when she'd run off to hide in the bathroom. She lifted her head slightly and let smack back down, punishing herself for being so stupid. She should know better. Danganronpa fans were fucking insane. How could they not be? Even the ones that seemed normal were always so… "Isn't this what you wanted? You always talked about this kind of thing in the game, right?"

She smacked her head against the floor again, trying to get the thoughts out of her head. Go away. Go away! Think of anything else. Anything else, damnit!

It didn't work. All that happened was that tears ended up waterfalling from her eyes again. At least this time she was quiet, only her heavy, panting breaths echoing against the tiles back at her.

A loud bang at the made her freeze, her entire body clenched as a sob nearly broke free from her lips. She hastily pressed a hand to her mouth, suddenly desperately afraid to make a sound.

The door was locked. The door was locked. She was safe here. She had to be safe. She was safe, she was safe, she safe--

"Hey, tits for brains! You in there?"

It was Kokichi.

Just Kokichi.

Her body didn't untense. She squeezed her eyes closed, pressed her hand tighter to her mouth, and hoped that he would go away. She didn't need him seeing her like this.

It had been awkward at first, dealing with each other after the game. How do you look at the person responsible for your death, the person that you tried to killed, and say sorry? How do you accept that apology? Any apology?

You didn't, in Miu's mind. And he must have felt the same because neither of them had apologized to each other. But they had the same way of coping with things. They got drunk, got loud, and stood under as many bright lights as possible. Fuck hiding her shame like it was a dirty secret, everyone already knew what she was like! So she would be Miu fucking Iroma and screw anyone that tried to make her be otherwise!

So she kept running into him at the bars and parties and clubs. Only it wasn't just him that she kept running into, it was also that godfreak. Running into her in bathrooms, catching her necking behind clubs or drinking in VIP areas. Miu didn't believe in fate, but if they were going to keep ending up in the same places, it just made sense to start going out together, didn't it? No need to apologize when you shotgun into someone's mouth and put your tongue down their throat three minutes later.

It was better than an apology, it was a continuation. They could just skip over the part where they felt bad and get back to insulting each other and making stupid jokes and not walking on eggshells. And Angie was there, so they never forgot they were in the present instead of the killing game like she sometimes did when Kiibo was with her.

Angie hadn't been her friend. Angie never would have been her friend. She was a god freak that tried to rope them all into a cult and got her religion loving head bashed in. They weren't anything to each other. Or they hadn't been. Now she was someone to pass lipstick between in the bathroom, someone to watch her back when she wanted to get frisky in an alley behind the club because she was too horny not to pick up a stranger, but too paranoid to be in a room alone with them.

Were they friends now? Fuck if Miu knew! All she knew was that whatever they were, Angie was another unwanted voice at the bathroom door.

"You should answer or we'll start to get worried, Miu!"

Yeah, she wouldn't be doing that. She probably sounded like shit from all the heavy crying she'd been doing. Probably looked and smelled like it too. She was pathetic wasn't she?

The thought made her curl up more.

"He's not here anymore," Angie said, voice softer. "If that's what you're worried about."

"Do we need to key his car or something?" Kokichi asked. "Did you fall asleep in there?"

Miu stayed quiet, just hoping that they'd go away. In the morning… in the morning she swore she would be able to put all this behind her. To pretend that she didn't feel anything and he had just been a bad lay. Just someone that couldn't satisfy her instead of someone that made her feel disgusting and used and… Fuck!

Why was everyone trying to make her a victim? The killing game, these creeps, did she have any intrinsic value other than the joy derived from her suffering?

"Fuck it, I'm opening the door," Kokichi said.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Angie asked.

"I'm not going to let her overdose on a bathroom floor."

"You think…"

Miu never heard the end of the statement as the door was suddenly slammed open. He must have picked the locks. She forgot that he could do that.

"Miu?" Angie was at her side immediately, hand on her shoulder. Miu refused to look at her or to uncoil. This was embarrassing, being seen like this.

"Ye-uck!" Kokichi said. He turned on the bathroom sink, likely trying to wash away the mess she'd left there. A moment later she heard the toilet flush, so he must have seen that too.

Kokichi kneeled down on her other side, but she closed her eyes tight and refused to even look at him. "What did he do to you?" His voice was dark, serious. Miu wasn't sure she'd heard him sound this way, so angry and threatening.

"Het hair is a mess," Angie commented, pulling the strands away from her face and likely getting her hands all gross. Her voice, in contrast, was very soft.

She heard the water in the tub turn on next. "That can be dealt with."

God, Miu wished they would just leave. Unfortunately, pretending that they weren't actually there didn't seem to be working.

"Let's get you cleaned up, okay Miu?" Angie tugged at Miu gently and she reluctantly let her body unfurl. Angie pulled her closer and rolled her over, and Miu let the god freak manipulate her body like she was a doll. All the tension had abruptly fled from her limbs and she didn't think she had the energy any longer to move herself.

The shower came roaring to life.

Kokichi walked over to her, kneeling next to her. His hands worked swiftly to divest her of all her jewelry; earrings, necklace, bracelets, rings. Everything was removed and placed into a neat little pile on the bathroom floor.

"Can you get up?" he asked her. "Because we could carry you to the tub, but you might not want that."

Miu closed her eyes again. It bruised something in her to have him looking at her head on this way. She knew that she looked pathetic and the last person that she needed to see her this way…

Angie's arms closed around her in a tight embrace. "Oh Miu, you don't need to do that."

Kokichi reached out to stroke her cheek gently for just a moment, then he smacked her. Not hard, but the force was enough to make her open her eyes in surprise. "Too late to hide from me," he told her. His voice was forceful, but not harsh, not angry. His face was blank. "I've already seen you at your worst, so whatever this is… cut it out already."

Fresh tears came to her eyes. She hated it, but she also couldn't stop it.

He cared about her. He had always cared and she had tried to…

Angie pressed her face into Miu's neck, whispering in such a low tone that she wasn't sure it would carry to Kokichi. "Atua will take care of it. If he did something to you, then Angie promises that he will feel Atua's wrath."

Miu went still. If there was one thing she had learned about Angie, it was that she didn't make idle threats. She meant everything she said, even if she said it in a peculiar way. And Miu was pretty sure that her messed up god wasn't real, so…

"I can move," Miu said, fighting to get out of Angie's arms. It felt too warm, too… Too…

Why would she care? Why would they care? Why? Why would they…

Miu pushed herself to her knees. Kokichi's eyes were on her, intense and focused, the whole time. She couldn't read them. She crawled her way to the tub, Kokichi standing on one side of her and Angie on her knees on the other. They helped her into the tub and she closed her eyes against the shower spray on her face.

Kokichi pulled her face forward and to the side, pressing a makeup remover to her face and methodically cleaning her up. Angie's hands were moving through her hair, trying to rinse off the gross stands, waiting until Kokichi was done to start washing it.

"I want to know what happened," Kokichi said softly. "It'll just piss me off if I have to guess."

"It's stupid," she told him, because that's what she'd been telling herself. It only made sense to say it out loud too.

"You're stupid," he replied. "I didn't ask you if it was stupid. Who cares about that? He could have spilled coffee on you and I'd still say that you should tell me so that I can make his life fucking miserable for two months."

Miu swallowed around the lump in her throat. She wasn't good at accepting gestures of goodwill. They were usually condescending or fake. Not from Kokichi though. He was petty, spiteful. He could and would make a mountain of a molehill for no good reason, and just as easily make a mountain into an anthill.

"Angie will listen to whatever you have to say." With her whispered promise of vengeance still fresh in Miu's mind, she believed her wholeheartedly.

Miu didn't want to say it, but she let her hand wander up to her neck. Instantly, Kokichi's face went dark. She'd ranted on more than one occasion, whenever they were all just drunk enough, about what people said to her. About her. What they asked her.

It wasn't like she was alone in that. Kokichi had nearly had a full blown panic attack when someone tried to hold him or made jokes about crushing him. And Angie couldn't stand being alone, being in the dark, not after what had happened. The spotlight made her feel safer, but it wasn't any less of a stage to self destruct upon than it was for Miu and Kokichi.

"It doesn't matter," Miu told them. "Why should any of it fucking matter? I'm just a fucking sex prop with a DR logo stamped on my damn pussy for all these people care."

"You're not," Kokichi said firmly.

"I might as well be!" she yelled. "It doesn't fucking matter what I do or where I go. All I'll ever be is the bitch who got strangled by her own fucking device."

"No!" Kokichi yelled back at her, tears in his own eyes. "You're more than that you fucking bimbo!"

"No, I'm-"

"So what." Angie's voice cut through both her and Kokichi's yelling and they stopped to stare at her. "So what if you are. Maybe no one out there will see you as anything us, but everyone in here already does. Does that not mean anything?"

Miu deflated, Angie's words taking all the air out of her. "I don't… I don't know."

The water was starting to go cold. She was soaking wet, but at least her hair was clean. She didn't smell like regret and bad decisions anymore. She reached forward to turn the water off.

Angie reached out to turn Miu's head to face her, leaning up to kiss her cheek. "Angie sees you. Whatever they do to us, we'll still have each other. They won't take that. You'll never be alone. You don't have to keep doing this if it hurts."

"I don't know how to do anything else," she admitted.

Kokichi sucked his teeth, reaching into the tub to grab her hand, seeming to pull on it just to steal her attention for himself. "God, I'll fuck you myself if you're that hard up for dick. You don't have to keep trolling for it if it's gonna end up like this."

"You don't even like--"

"Who cares!" he said again, anger exploding out of him. "I'd do it for you! Can you get that through your whore head already?"

Angie takes her other hand. "Miu, we're here for you. It doesn't matter what you need from us or how broken you think you are, we'll do whatever you need us to. We love you."

Kokichi huffs and looks away, but there's a slight redness to his face. He waves his free hand between them. "What she said or whatever."

He could hear the runners causing a ruckus down by the lake. Gripping the wooden railing of the deck and leaning forward, he could just about see them. It looked like one of them had tripped, but he was too far to see who. He saw the three of them running more often than not. They got up early and he stayed up late, so it was almost inevitable. Well, if staying up late was the same as not sleeping, at least. He thought it was. The noise they made kept him more grounded than staying in the quiet house while everyone was sleeping and smoking gave him an excuse to sit around doing nothing without too many people deciding to bother him.

"Here the fuck you are."

Seems he spoke too soon. He looked over his shoulder to see Miu, bleary eyed and messy haired, wearing a large t-shirt and shorts to sleep in as she stumbled out onto the deck. His lips curled up in a sardonic smirk. "Here I am."

"Why the fuck are you up so early?" she asked as she stumbled over to him.

"None of your business, cunt."

Miu smacked her hand against his face tiredly before dropping next to him and putting her head in his lap. "Stupid fucking asshole, making me look for you when I'm already goddamn tired."

By tired, she meant hung over. He'd seen her pass out around three in the morning with a bottle of vodka still in her hand and Himiko curled up on the table next to her. Himiko was a surprisingly energetic drunk, but only between three and five drinks, then it was just a bell curve.

Kokichi brushed her hair down with one hand. "No one told you to come looking for me."

"Shut up," she mumbled, pressing her face into his thighs. "Dreamed that your dumbass drowned in the lake."

Miu had been having dreams about his death since waking up. He supposed it was guilt even though she hadn't actually lived to see her plan come to fruition. Some nights not even passing out was enough to stop her feeling like shit and then she woke up and came crawling around him as if he could make her pathetic ass feel better when he couldn't even help himself.

"How'd I get in the lake?" he asked idly, keeping his eyes on the last lines of the sunrise. The sky was almost fully blue by this point and he always missed the pinks and purples of the early morning.

"You walked."

"Oh." Kokichi lowered the cigarette from his lips and rest his arm on the deck railing above his head. He supposed he couldn't blame her for that. He hadn't been much like himself since waking up, not that anyone really was.

Miu grabbed hold of his shirt and he could feel wetness slowly dripping onto his thighs. He pretended not to notice. Kokichi never knew what to do when Miu cried and now was no different. He just continued stroking her head in lieu of having any else to offer her.

"I'm not going to walk into the lake," he told her. "Not my preferred method of death." He thought it was supposed to be comfort or a joke, but even Kokichi would admit that he wasn't really sure.

"That's what I'm afraid of," she told him. "You'll pick the worst fucking thing you can think of and I might not even find out."

Yeah, that sounded like him. He leaned his head against the railing and put out his cigarette on his thigh, quick and hard. He jerked at the burn but stayed silent, another bad habit he had picked up. He told himself that it was safer than putting it out against the deck and ignored that he might have done it for any other reason. He dropped the unlit cigarette beside him so that if it spontaneously relit itself, he'd be the first to burst into flames and he could push Miu away from him. She didn't deserve to die another stupid death.

"Not too many bad ways I could die out here," he told her. "Once you take out the lake."

"You'd find a way," she told him.

Nice that she thought so highly of him when it was too late to be helpful. Kokichi closed his eyes and tried to push that thought away. Miu was his friend or something, best not to have those kinds of thoughts cluttering him up. Best to think as little as possible, really, since thinking had only ever gone badly for him. Just keep his eyes closed, listen to the idiots down by the lake, and stroke Miu's hair until she stopped leaking on him. Small things. Easy things.

By the time Kokichi opened his eyes again, the sky was fully blue and the runners were opening the door behind him to go back into the house. Miu was asleep again and his hand ached for a cigarette.

o The Afternoon The lake house was huge. It had two floors and a basement, enough bedrooms that they could all have a room to themselves but none of them did. Himiko wasn't allowed to stay in a room by herself. The girl had regressed so far in her depression that no one felt comfortable leaving her alone and she bounced between sleeping with Kirumi, Maki, or Gonta. The former two were forceful enough to actually get the girl moving and taking care of herself again, while the latter was so gentle with her that it seemed to guilt her into taking care of herself a little on her own. Miu had chosen a room in the basement, but she usually passed out either drinking in the rec room or passed out in her makeshift lab, a space that she shared with Angie herself or sometimes Kiibo.

Kaede spent more nights on the couch in the living room and others would join her if they had trouble sleeping or just didn't want to be alone. Angie had spent quite a few nights herself squeezing onto the couch with Kaede, unable to sleep well until she had someone beside her. The rare nights Kaede did sleep in an actual bed though, she shared with Tenko. Everyone had agreed that the girl was too indulgent to be trusted with Himiko, not that Tenko had tried to get close to her anymore. A lot of people had drifted away from those they'd hung around in the killing game. Korekiyo couldn't look at any of the girls that he'd considered "respectable" without flinching, Maki avoiding Kaito whenever possible, and Kaede and Shuichi wouldn't sit alone together in the same room.

Angie thought that it would be good in the long run. If Rantaro inviting them all here didn't prove it, then everyone accepting did, they were all too tangled up in each other after what had happened to just break away and that meant they needed to learn how to grow around each other. Angie thought that it was a good sign and she was jumping into it without looking back.

"It's too early to be drinking, Miu," Angie said as she walked into the room that Miu had turned into a makeshift lab. Half the room was messy with tools and electronics and various devices that Miu had begun to half heartedly tear apart. The other half of the room was crowded with paints, canvases, stacks of paper, and pencils.

Kokichi sometimes came in here with them to scribble on the stacks of paper, make a blueprint of something for Miu to build, or even just draw with her. It was one of the things that made Angie smile the most, Kokichi pushing his way into this space with Miu and Angie. In return, Angie had slowly been trying to push her way into the space that Kokichi and Miu shared, since when either of them actually spent any time in one of the bedrooms, they did so together. Angie had been moving between the couch with Kaede and the revolving door of Rantaro's room, which was open to anyone and everyone, but she'd made a decision a week after being here and was still working toward making that a reality.

"Screw you, give that back!" Miu yelled, jumping out of her seat and trying to grab the bottle.

Angie danced away from her easily. "Nope, nope, nope! If you're going to be drinking anyway, you aren't going to do it this early in the day."

"You're not the damn boss of me!"

Angie smiled at her and leaned to one side. "Well someone has to be, right?" She leaned to the other side. "You want someone to take care of you, don't you?"

Miu shrank back from her, biting her lip and avoiding Angie's eyes. "You don't know anything."

"Angie thinks that she knows you pretty well. Miu isn't very subtle, after all."

Miu flinched for a moment before pulling her cloak of bravado around her once more. "No one asked you!" she yelled. "Even if I did want someone telling me what to do, I wouldn't want to listen to your dizzy ass."

"Don't say things that you don't mean, Miu." Angie smiled wider, leaning forward as she glared at the girl. "Or else god will punish you."

Miu jumped back. "Fuck! You and Kokichi both with that shit!"

Angie put the bottle on top of the bookshelf, out of Miu's immediate reach. Then she turned around and gave Miu her normal smile, ignoring the wary look that still lingered on Miu';s face. "If you want something to drink, why don't you come have a cup of tea with me?"

"I don't want any damn tea," Miu muttered. "I want to get drunk off my ass."

Angie skipped over to Miu, taking her hand and pulling her along. "Too bad!"

Angie was pretty sure that Miu hadn't had anything to eat today and would be sick to her stomach if Angie let her drink. She couldn't just bring Miu food though. The girl liked to be stubborn, so Angie had to work in stages and the first stage was to get Miu to the kitchen. Even though Miu groaned and dragged her feet, she still followed Angie into the kitchen.

The kitchen was empty. Angie had waited until after Kirumi had come and gone so that she wouldn't be in the maid's way. Kirumi had come a long way in her insistence of serving others, but it was clear that cooking and cleaning were things that she enjoyed doing even when she wasn't doing it for others, so no one felt like they needed to try and stop her. Kirumi had also gotten much better at accepting their help when it was offered and everyone considered that a success.

Angie pushed Miu into a chair, the girl grunting at the rough treatment. "What kind of tea do you want?" Angie asked.

"The Irish kind," Miu said with a pout.

"That's coffee," she replied. "And Angie's not giving you alcohol, so try again. "

"Ugghh," Miu groaned loudly. "Fine. Whatever. Something with caffeine, I guess."

Angie chose pomegranate tea and went to work making it, humming as she did so. She could hear Miu tapping restless on the table but Angie didn't pay any mind to it. The inventor was hungry for attention at all times, Angie had learned that if she waited long enough, Miu would talk to her and doing things that way usually made them easier.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" Miu asked quietly.

"Angie's doing exactly what she wants to be doing." She brought two cups of tea to the table, along with milk, sugar, and honey.

Miu huffed as she pulled her tea cup toward her, squeezing a generous amount of honey into her tea. "Of course the god freak wants to be around me when the twerp I want to be around is ignoring me."

Angie stirred a few teaspoons of sugar into her own drink. "Did you and Kokichi have a fight?"

Miu frowned as she stared into her tea. "All we do is fight. If we were fighting, things would be normal. I don't know what's wrong with that damn brat, he's just been staring at nothing all damn day."

"Maybe he's upset."

Miu slammed her hands on the table, spilling some of her tea. "We're all fucking upset!"

"And you think that means he shouldn't have any reason to ignore you?" Angie asked. She watched as Miu's face crumpled and she pushed herself away from the table, stomping over to the counter to retrieve a rag. Angie sipped at her tea while she waited for Miu's response.

Miu began wiping the spilled liquid from the table, keeping her gaze down and avoiding Angie's eyes. "He does," Miu said softly. "He has plenty of reasons to ignore me. I tried to fucking..." She tossed the rag to the side and slumped back into her chair. "We're the only fucking friendship to survive the stupid killing game! Kiibo doesn't want me to so much as look at his paneling and Gonta never eve3n comess into the damn basement because he knows I'm always down there."

Angie nodded. It was nothing that she hadn't noticed. No one liked to talk about the killing game, some of them danced around the topic like it was taboo. While Angie didn't know everything, she hadn't even heard Kokichi mentioning the killing game since leaving the facility. It was difficult to look someone in the eye when they knew you at your worst, or when they caused you to be your worst self. Angie wasn't really like that. She wanted to seek the other out even more, be even closer to them. She recalled dying all alone, being isolated because she had pushed so many people away, and she reached out for people all the more furiously.

No, she wasn't trying to take care of Himiko, but that's because Himiko wouldn't benefit from Angie trying to get close to her right now. She didn't talk to Korekiyo because he looked like he might throw up when she stayed in the same room with her too long. Tenko and Kiibo and Gonta all acted awkward around her. they were the ones that weren't ready for her and she respected that. That was why she had ended up spending so much time with Miu and Kokichi. Miu needed someone to take care of her and even though she and Kokichi had tangled themselves up together, they weren't helping each other, just holding on. Kokichi wasn't reaching out to anyone or pushing anyone away, he was just standing still. That made it easy for Angie to stand with him, to weave her way between him and Miu.

"Are you worried that he'll start to push you away?" Angie asked.

"He always is! He's... if everyone else has already... What makes us so damn different?" Miu demanded, tears in her eyes. "Why did I think that we would be able to hold on when everyone else..." Miu swiped her hand over the table, flinging the tea cup to the floor and causing it to shatter on the ground. "I hate this! I hate this so much. All I do is drink, have nightmares, and fucking cry."

Angie got up from the table and went to Miu's side, wrapping the girl up in a hug. It wasn't like the divine embraces that she had offered to her student council. It wasn't pretty and comforting, it was tight and desperate and more than a little clingy. Angie wanted to comfort Miu, but she knew that she was the one that really needed this hug, that was desperate to have someone to hold onto to.

Miu didn't hug her back, but she didn't push Angie away either. Just beat her fist on the table as she cried. "Why did I try to kill someone that I lo--" Miu cut herself off with a sob and Angie held her tighter. She hoped that she was helping. Wanted so much to be helpful enough that the girl would stop pushing her away, enough that she would be able to weave herself around her, around someone, anyone, and maybe they would hold on to her back.

o The Night The basement was kind of crowded. While a lot of people either avoided the basement or had better things to do during the day, the night was different. During the night Korekiyo would come to sit and drink with her, lamenting over the things he thought in the game and trying to drink enough to drown the voice of his "sister" out of his head. Himiko would come down to either drink or find a secluded corner to hide in until one of the people that had chosen to watch her came to collect her. Rantaro would sometimes come down there to smoke, wanting to get everyone out of the bottle for a night with a different offer of to calm everyone down, and it was fifty fifty whether or not she'd actually put the bottle down. Sometimes one or two others would drift down but those were the usual suspects.

It was late now. She'd seen Angie upstairs curled around Kaede on the couch when Miu refused to turn in around midnight. Kokichi had been in some depressing talk on the deck with Shuichi and Ryoma around one. Maki had scooped up Himiko before two.

It was close to or after three in the morning now. Rantaro had followed Korekiyo to his room more than ten minutes ago and she was just... sitting here. She felt too sick to keep drinking. If even thought too hard about the bottle in her hand she'd probably puke, but that didn't mean that she wasn't tempted. At least if she was busy bending over a toilet she'd be too busy to think about how quiet it was now, how restless she felt, how lonely... It seemed like Angie was only ever around when she didn't want to deal with the bitch, but the moment Miu actually wanted some company the ditzy bitch was shaking up with someone else. Typical. Fucking typical.

Miu punched a wall. She took a shot that had her throwing up ten minutes later, then she broke the mirror on her way out of the bathroom.

"Wow Miu, I didn't think you were ugly enough to break a mirror just by looking at them."

Miu instinctively hid her hand before she turned around to look at the little gremlin. "Thought you were busy taking it up the ass with Ryoma or whatever."

Kokichi smirked at her, but his heart wasn't in it. It almost never was nowadays. "Oh yeah, you know I can't sleep right unless I'm full up on both ends."

"You never fucking sleep," she spat.

Kokichi smiled as if she'd proven his point. She guessed she'd had.

Miu tried to brush past him. "Outta my way, you damn abortion."

Kokichi slammed his hand against the wall, blocking the doorway and glaring at her. "Show me your hand, you cow. You think I'm stupid?"

Miu thought about arguing. She thought about trying to kick Kokichi to the curb like he did to her. But... he didn't kick her to the curb. He was here. Even though he could be sucking dick upstairs, he still came to check on her, and damn if she didn't want to cry in pure relieve over that fact alone. She huffed as she held out her hand. The light caught on a few small pieces of glass that had embedded themselves in her skin.

Kokichi grabbed her wrist and pulled her over to the counter. "The fuck did you think you were going to do? Go to bed and roll in glass shards?"

"I didn't see them," she muttered.

Kokichi rolled his eyes as he bent over her hand, pulling out tweezers from someone and picking out the tiny shards of glass. "Surprised you can see anything with how fucking bloodshot your eyes are. Drinking, crying, sleep deprivation, whatever the hell Rantaro probably gave you."

"You're one to talk. You avoid the bed like you owe it money."

"Yeah, it mugged me last Tuesday, I've never been the same."

Miu was quiet for a moment, just listening to the soft plink of glass hitting the sink. "You could talk to me, you know," she said quietly.

"Oh, like how you talk to me?"

"Fuck you, I talk!"

"You walk around the subject just like every damn body else," he said, slamming the tweezers down on the sink. "And you think if you get to the bottom of enough bottles you'll stop feeling guilty, but you fucking won't. You tried to kill me, Miu! And you failed. Get the fuck over it."

Miu inhaled sharply, feeling tears stinging at her eyes the way his words stung at her heart. Rather than recoil though, she felt herself picking up her own weapons to fight back. "Like you're so much better? You smoke half a damn pack a day and think that's going to help anyone. Learn anything staring at the fucking sky all day? You're even more of a damn load than you were in the killing game."

"Good thing someone finally had the guts to squish me flat," Kokichi hissed. "Maybe if you're lucky someone will do the job right this time and put us both out of our misery!"

"Stop it!" They both turned to see Angie standing in the doorway. She looked angry like Miu had never seen her before as she took in the situation before her. "Why are you doing this?"

Miu avoided her eyes. "It's not your damn business."

Angie ignored her, stomping over to Kokichi and pulling him into a hug, much like she had done to Miu earlier. "Angie isn't going to let you die. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever."

"You think you get a say?" Kokichi asked. He didn't return the hug. Neither did Miu. God, it was so stupidly painful to watch the way she tried to pull them close to her. She should know they didn't have anything to give her. They didn't even have anything to give each other. All they were good for breaking. Objects, each other, all they ever did was break and shatter and ruin whatever the hell they touched. It made her sick. It was no wonder Kokichi would rather fucking die than be with her.

Without thinking, she slammed her hand against the wall again. It hurt and left a smear of blood on the light blue paint, but she didn't care. She did it again. And again. She kept doing it until she felt two sets of arms wrapping around her.

"What the fuck are you doing, you stupid whore?" Kokichi yelled. His voice sounded more panicked than angry, but Miu didn't care.

"Shut up! Just shut the hell up!" Miu yelled. "If you hate me so much then stop fucking--"

"I don't hate you, you dumb bitch!"

"You do!" She pulled away from them both to whirl around on Kokichi. "You avoid me. You leave in the middle of the night. You don't trust me enough to sleep with me because you think I'll--"

"That's not on you!" Kokichi yelled. "My problems are my own damn problems."

"I gave you those problems!"

Kokichi tackled her hard enough to knock the breath out of her and she found herself pinned against the wall, wrapped in his arms. "I love you, you fucking bitch! Alright? Are you fucking happy now?" Miu felt stunned. Kokichi was gripping her like he thought she'd crumble to dust in his arms. She guessed that between the two of them, only one of them had lived through the other's death. "You're such a headache, Miu. Making me say this stupid shit out loud when you should fucking know it already."

"How am I supposed to know it?" she asked, wrapping her arms around him and clinging tightly. "How I supposed to know how the fuck you feel, huh?"

"Shut up!"

They stayed that way for a long time, helplessly clinging to each other. When she finally looked up, she was surprised to see that Angie was still. She'd retreated to the doorway, but she was watching them with dull, glassy eyes. The look was... Miu could admit that it scared her a little. She didn't know how to describe it.

"A-Angie?"

Kokichi squeezed her tighter for a moment before he pulled away and looked over his shoulder to see Angie. He marched over to her, grabbed Angie arm and yanked her over to the toilet. He put down the lid, pushed Angie onto it, and then pushed Miu onto her lap.

"Hey!" Miu objected.

Angie's arms went around her and she could feel the girl crying behind her. It made her stiffen and she shot Kokichi a panicked look.

Kokichi just shook his head. He reached into the cabinet for the disinfectant and bandages, holding his hand out for hers. Miu gave it to him without complaint.

"I don't sleep," he said quietly, "Because if I sleep, I'll have nightmares. I'll remember the press coming down on me or the sharpness of the arrows, or the poison, or being fucking choked all the goddamn time. I'll wake up wanting to wrap a cord around someone's neck so they know what it's like or wanting to crush them. I'll wake up kicking and screaming because feeling any pressure remind me of being fucking crushed."

"You never told me that," she said softly.

"Yeah, well you never asked," he said sharply. She winced, both from his words and the sting of the disinfectant he sprayed on her knuckles. "And I haven't slept properly since we left the facility, so..." He let out a harsh breath. "I don't know, maybe it would be fucking different now. Maybe not. I thought Angie sleeping with you would be enough."

Miu squirmed a bit, being reminded that she was in the girl's arms. She was so quiet and still, it was freaking Miu out a bit. "She's not even with me all the time," Miu mumbled.

"Do you want her to be?" Kokichi asked, raising an eyebrow.

"H-huh?" she squeaked.

"Do you want Angie to be with you more?" he asked.

Miu began wringing her hands. "W-well, I..."

Kokichi rolled his eyes and went back to wrapping her hand. "That's your fucking problem, you never say what the hell you want. You make us fucking guess and then Angie feels left out and I... and I have to say stupid shit that I don't want to say."

"Angie doesn't want to be alone," the girl said quietly from behind Miu. "She just... wants to help."

"You were upstairs with that piano bitch," Miu argued.

"You pushed Angie away when she tried to get you to bed earlier," she said. "But Angie came back."

Miu sighed and leaned back in Angie's arms. She did come back. Kokichi came back, too. No one else really gave a damn about her and even those that did... Rantaro chose Korekiyo over her every time and Kirumi chose Himiko.

"I'm an asshole," Miu sighed.

"Yeah," Kokichi agreed. "Wanna state the obvious some more?"

"Fuck you," she said, though her heart wasn't in it anymore. Miu was tired. She was tired and it felt good to be held and it was probably four in the morning by now and she wanted to sleep. She grabbed Kokichi's hand. "Stay with me?"

"That's not a good idea."

Angie reached out to take Kokichi's other hand. "You listened to Angie when she had her breakdown," the girl said softly. Miu wondered when the hell this had happened, but she did know that the two of them spent a lot of time in the lab together. A lot could have happened while she was chasing her way through bottles. "Angie doesn't mind if you kick her out of bed or scream."

"You're completely batty," Kokichi said.

Miu looked over her shoulder in time to see Angie smile. "She knows."

Kokichi sighed. "Well clearly the two of us are too fucked up to be on our own."

"Everyone here is fucked up," Miu said. Not even Kirumi was immune to nightmares and bad blood. Everyone knew that guilt was the reason she was taking care of Himiko, because she was the only one that wouldn't complain about her help on some level. Kaede couldn't stand to look at Rantaro or Shuichi too long without crying. She'd caught Kaito staring at Kokichi and looking sick more times than she could count. None of them were okay. Maybe they never would be. But they could try. Miu wanted to fucking try!

Kokichi sighed again. "Yeah," he said, taking a deep breath. "Let's go to bed."

Miu stood up, Angie keeping an arm around her as she followed. They all retreated into the room that Miu had claimed. The room that she had been thinking of as hers and Kokichi's, even though he rarely slept in there with her. She was surprised to realize that Angie's things were just as equally scattered around as Kokichi's. There were canvases that Angie painted on the walls, paintbrushes on the night stands, her yellow coat thrown over a chair. Miu felt like such an asshole for trying to push her away so often.

"Angie likes to be squished," she said, looking directly at Kokichi as she said so.

"Then you get to go on the bottom," he replied.

"The fuck does that mean?" Miu asked. "What are we stacking on top of each other in a damn line?"

"Is that not how you sleep?" Kokichi asked.

Angie laughed, falling onto the bed and tugging Miu with her. She pulled Miu's head onto her chest and wrapped one leg around Miu's waist. Miu blushed. "The fuck!"

Angie just laughed at her and stroked her hair. "Just relax Miu, everything is fine."

Kokichi perched on the edge of the bed behind Angie, propping himself up against the wall. He placed a hand on Angie's shoulder and smiled at them both. "If I fall asleep, I'll either fall on you both and crush you or I'll fall out the bed and die."

Angie pulled on one of his arms until she had him in a death drip. "There. Now you'll definitely crush us."

Kokichi laughed and Miu found herself relaxing more and more. She wasn't losing anything. She wouldn't.

"I love you too," she said quietly.

Kokichi pretended not to hear her, but she met his eyes and he looked away too quietly. He heard her.

Angie nuzzled her. "Angie may not love you both yet, but she wants to."

Miu burrowed closer at those words. She didn't think anyone had ever wanted to love her. Kokichi did, but she knew that both of them had wound up with their feelings after kicking and screaming the whole way down. It was a different feeling to have someone choose you. Choose you at your worst, too.

"Yeah, well, I'm not saying that again," Kokichi told her. "So you'd better get good at picking up context clues."

Angie giggles. "Angie thinks she'll manage."