๐ฒ๐ต๐ณ ๐บ๐ ๐ซ๐บ๐๐ฟ๐พ๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐ผ๐ ๐ง๐ผ'๐ - ( ๐ฒ๐ค๐ต๐ค๐ญ๐ณ๐ค๐ค๐ญ )
โคน โ ๐ถ๐บ๐๐๐๐๐๐ โฎ ๐ณ๐บ๐๐ โโคธ
established relationship, mentions of body image in mingahao's, angst in jeonghans, definitely ooc, grammar/spelling mistakes, gn!reader, skin!Neutral, not proof read !!
๐ ๐ถ๐ผ โฎ 1.6k ๐
โ FeaturingโK. Mingyu โฎ Y. Jeonghan โฎ J. Wonwoo โฎ L. Seokmin โฎ X. Minghao โฎ K. Soonyoung โฎ L. Jihoon โ
โThis must be, it must be loveโ
His exterior is quite intimidating to most, often being avoided or having assumptions made that didnโt match the real him in the slightest โ he tried not to let it bother him but constantly being stereotyped for his looks would weigh anyone down eventually.ย
He had only been dating you for a few months, yet you never assumed anything about him. You never treated him differently for looking intimidating or put him down for not acting โmanly enoughโ.ย
The realization of love hit him quite suddenly, and it hit hard. It was just a regular afternoon on his day off โ laying his head in your lap while you brushed your fingers through his dark locks, rambling on and on about anything and everything that came to mind.ย
In that moment, he all of a sudden realized, he had never felt so at peace with someone like he was with you. The other members of the group knew everything about him, sure. But with you it felt like he could truly tell you anything without being judged or pitied.ย ย
โYouโre not even gone โ I already miss youโ
It was inevitable. You knew it, he knew it, yet neither of you enjoyed discussing it.ย
Every day that passed seemed to get harder and harder, that dreaded date approaching faster than you could process, before you knew it โ you were crying in his arms while he packed his suitcase.ย
It took everything in him not to break down alongside you, but he knew it was his job to be strong for you in that moment.ย
You sobbed, begged, and pleaded him not to go despite him not having a choice โ you knew if he did have a choice, heโd spend every moment of his life with you, unfortunately that wasnโt the reality you lived in.
Every placement of spare clothes or hygiene essentials felt like a deepย pierce to the heart, you couldnโt imagine spending almost two years without him, ever since you were a kid โ you had always dreamed of having the perfect relationship, when you met Jeonghan you thought you had finally achieved such a dream.ย
Yet here you were watching the pieces of that dream crumble and turn to dust.
โI wonโt pretend Iโve been anxious, just like Iโve always been.โ
He never liked to stick out in a crowd, which is ironic considering he was an idol.ย
Having hundreds, possibly thousands of hours of content โ all including him out on the internet was anxiety inducing enough, he couldnโt bear the thought of putting you in that position.ย
He was always quite cautious with what he did and didnโt put out on the internet regarding your relationship, so much so that he rarely posted dates or anniversaries โ not publicly at least.ย
Did you sometimes feel left out, not being able to have cute posts made about your relationship? Surprisingly not. You knew his boundaries when it came to exposure and respected them.ย
Despite how it seems, the wonwoo posted online was extraordinarily different to the wonwoo you fell in love with and got to know, of course, he still kept some of his main traits and personality type โ but with you he felt as if he could say anything without it being made into a big deal.ย
He was outgoing, talkative, and exaggerated when he was with you, as if he was a completely different version of himself.
Being with you made him feel like he was on top of the whole world, every ounce of anxiousness melted away being with such a judgement-free, energy-matching person.ย
You would never be able to fathom how grateful he was for being given the gift of true love.ย
โConfess I loved you from the startโ
Before meeting you, he couldnโt say he believed in love at first sight or not, but after seeing you walk into his life for the first time โ it all changed.ย
He hadnโt even spoken to you yet, but he was already utterly obsessed with everything about you, everything you did was just soโฆendearing.ย
He wasted no time getting to know you either โ of course, no one was surprised that Dokyeom was his usual talkative, excited self, but what they were surprised at was how flustered he seemed to get when talking to you.
It was obvious to everyone around from your first interaction that something was bound to blossom from you both, yet somehow you both seemed oblivious to it โ too wrapped up in your own ideas of love at first sight yet neither of you daring to make a move.
He was in denial, โitโs just some grade school crushโ he told himself, yet that wouldnโt explain the several sleepless nights he spent just thinking about you, hyper-focusing on every detail and movement you made as if he was a detective at a crime scene.ย
Now, would this โGrade-school crushโ actually go anywhere? Or would he just continue to be in denial, refusing to acknowledge the spark between you or the way his heartbeat quickened whenever you walked into the room?
Only time will tell.ย
โHe tells me I'm pretty, donโt know how to respond โ I tell him that heโs pretty too, can I say that? Donโt have a clue.โ
He had never been the most athletic of the group, that title was given to someone like Mingyu or Woozi, he still exercised and took care of his diet, but he was just never able to bulk up very well.ย
His slender frame was something that quickly became a part of his image, fans across the world associating the thin build with him was slightly hurtful, but he knew they meant well.ย
Your reassurance was always welcomed, and quite appreciated, yet there was always an underlying feeling of doubt within him.ย
His insecurities quickly made their way into his daily life โ whether you liked it or not, baggier clothes, obsessing over exercise, restricting his diet to even tighter extents.ย
You assumed it was just the cost of being an idol, not that he was trying to change himself into something he assumed you would like better.ย
Things started to get more drastic, he stopped sending photos of himself, he stopped cuddling you at night, but the most telling of them all was the amount of questions he started asking.ย
โDo you think Iโm muscular enough?โ โShould I be working out more?โ โWhatโs your ideal body type?โ
It all became clear that this wasnโt just the pressure of being a perfect pop-star, but the self-doubt of being the perfect boyfriend.
โIf I wanted to date a super muscular hyper manly guy, I would. But thatโs not the man I fell in love with, that man is you. Not for your body or fame, but for you in your most honest, authentic self.โ
He spent that night crying on your shoulder, babbling about how much he appreciated your love and how heโd never take anything you did for granted, promising to always be the best version of himself โ for you.ย
โSo enchanting in every way. It's everlasting, every day. Sweet obsession, rose bouquetsโ
โObsessedโ couldnโt even begin to describe how he felt about you, you were his whole world put into one person.ย
Your passion, honest love, and humblenessย were just a few reasons why he was so deeply in love with you, and he was determined to make sure it was known.ย
Every second with you he basked in, savouring the domestic moments and even keeping a โsecretโ journal of things he does with you, writing down every detail and every little action that made his heart skip a beat.
What does he love most? How childish and carefree he was able to act with you, running around the mall, window shopping and pointing at everything as if he were a puppy on his first car ride.ย
He loses all sense of societal tone management when heโs with you, speaking loudly, laughing at every joke, making over the top, dramatic movement โ completely in his own little happy world
Whenever you were around, it was like you filled a little missing piece of his heart.ย
โ'God, Iโm so lovesick, what have you done to me?โ
Lee Jihoon being head over heels in love? Ask him that two years ago, heโd scoff in your face then call you crazy, ask him that today, and heโd list off the things he loves about you.
Was it cliche? Maybe a little, but he didnโt care.ย
He never liked admitting how deeply he was in love with you, but actions spoke louder than words in his case, every home-cooked meal, every cup of warm tea, every re-stock of your shampoos and conditioners โ they were all gestures done out of pure affection.ย
Itโs not just actions either, the amount of unreleased songs heโs made, only heard by your ears, was easily another one of the most telling signs.ย
Thatโs not to say he didnโt ever show you physical affection either, he just wasnโt good with handling that type of thing.ย
Every time you intertwined your hands or hugged him out of the blue โ his ears turned bright red and he suddenly couldnโt make eye contact, it was embarrassing on his end but you adored how easily flustered he gets.ย
Maybe he really did find true love.ย