#osteum

He makes life feel like a dream. Was it a dream?  Some days she just couldn't  tell. Life had been too kind these days, unnaturally so, and to some extent Rosie feared coming back to reality would break her apart more than living in a kind dream ever did.  She spends her time on most days, drifting and dreaming with her eyes open. On what could be held in her life.. Forgetful of the world around her, even his nimble steps unheard as they gently patter behind her. Her fingers tap mindlessly to a tune repeating in her head.. Til suddenly his large arms slip around her waist, her thighs, her body hoisted with ease off the ground. He laughs when he holds her, although at first she freezes to a blank, rigid thing. 

Instinct expect the pain of the floor to come next ; harsh, violent fingers digging into her skin, sticky breath pressed into her neck in a taunting sneer if she cried or squealed -- those chocolate eyes widen with initial terror, breath held, knowing well not to move when her mind plays back a voice she hated the most

'You know no one ever comes.'

     But it’s not the floor she feels, or bruising hands or teeth. It’s a kiss he gives her, tender on her cheek.

     'You're not worth a damn thing' 

 Another kiss , deeper and sweeter. Trailing, from her cheek down to her lips ; The taste on his lips and tongue draws her in. Her defenses failing, the fear that stiffens her muscles slowly begins to fade and loosen her limbs.

   '  things like you just arent made for loving, cat. You arent loved, you're nothing . And you'll always be nothing.' 

If she falls any deeper, then those dirty words become a distant memory that burns away like the tears.

At last, she lets go of that held breath and breathes in deep. It's only a dream. It's only a dream..

When Rosie opens her eyes, she finds she is not the rabbit in the jaws of the beast, but a little woman held in the arms of a gentle giant. For a moment she debates whether her eyes deceive her, the aching heart in her chest skipping a beat as she melts under his watchful, affectionate gaze. Eddie cradles her as a man cradles a treasure, the love that shines in the icy blue eyes brings an indescribable wave of emotion through her being that feels like melting in his hold. If one were attentive, then the subtle quivering of her body would not go unnoticed as she curled in further into his grip. Every degrading word and demeaning insult ever said slipping away and buried by every tender word he counters them with.  Eddie smiles in a way only he could,  the charming way that ripples wrinkles across his forehead and the defined shape of his cheeks sink in as his lips pull back to flash his sharpened teeth. The gaze of a lover, foreign to a girl always denied its pleasures.

"I love you... God, I love you…” 

  He whispers, breathless, adoringly against her lips. Forehead pressed to her own, eyes falling half lidded. His voice a deep tremulous rumble with sincere expression of his feelings.

           “ You make me so happy…” 

You make me so happy..

So much at once, she nearly breaks. Rosie doesn’t mean to be silent, to find herself choking on words, but this feeling inside her was unlike any she had felt in such a long time.. Deprived of any sincerity in a life built on lies, her mouth may open to speak, but all that comes out is a whimpering sound before she closed her lips yet again. The soft words he whispers, the closeness of his lips bring a different sort of weakness to her limbs.. A pulsing weakness, unraveling her from the core and spreading outward. Without realizing it, her eyes burned heavy with tears that brimmed. Rosie’s face contorts, restrained and struggling, it seemed, in finding the words she wanted to say.

  I love you too, so much        Just say it.

And yet, her tongue feels like lead in her mouth. The emotions that possess her swirl and confuse her, a fear of it creeping back into her senses hold her words hostage, no matter how desperately she wishes to say it.  I love you Eddie. I love you, I love you more than I can say. 

What she fails to speak can only be expressed in those wide, teary eyes. Staring at him, full of love, full of longing. The trembling of her body worsens, but she reaches nonetheless to assure him through touch. As they always did.. Her slim hands grazing, tracing the stumble of his jaw, along his cheeks in a leisure motion. Her breath is shaky, gasping quietly between each tender peck to his lips as she restrains this overwhelming urge to sob with his kindness.. She mouths the words, even if he can't see her lips. Smiles, then presses closer as she cups him with both her hands. As close as her little body can be, to the only man that loves her now as she is. All her broken pieces, made one in a broken church with no god but them. 

Rosie shivers and curls into him fully, while concern etches deep into his face when he feels the damp warmth of rolling tears down her cheeks, the cat fights her own instinct to retreat and wills her body to spill its secrets even if it's spilling her own guts. Curling her tail around his arm, ears folded back against her skull, she mumbles below her breath, words for only his ears to hear -- the world won’t deny her what it can’t hear.

Shipping meme ( Still accepting !! )

9. Who are some characters you ship your muse with?

At the moment, I only have a handful of ships with Rosie. Given shes difficult as hell to deal with, shipping is not always easily (1. because of the nature of her doesnt make her easy to love and 2. Because I'm a babu and dont like to feel like I'm jumping the gun on people to love her askgifn)

She varies by fandom, but I have about 4 at the moment

- The main ones are with Guts (@cecidesent) is one of the first ships she had when I got here to tumblr. Berserk fandom has died out but it still is my first love before the fandom like tore itself apart. Although my Guts isn't around publicly, the verse where they shared their immortal lives together and Rosie spends her lifetime lamenting him in the modern day is the :V: The Fall: verse.

- My most common one you probably see on my blog is my Marvel verse, where Rosie is married to Eddie Brock(aka. Venom) (@osteum) and they have a family of 6 kids( 4 birthed, 2 adopted) all together. It has a lot of development behind the scenes but it's kind of my go-to if I'm not using my main verse because I love my symbiote kids and it honestly leaves a lot of room for exploring because of the up and down of their parents relationship, but also because of the anti-symbiot policies in the Marvel universe and how people see them. Rosie is still a leader of the angel squad and real deal always ready to throw down because of the bad reputation symbiots have the the people that shit talk about her Eddie and Venom. Its wild. This verse is found in the :V: Fate can be kind: tag.

- My other Marvel verse is with Wendell Vaughn (@quantahope) where Rosie and Wendell are still in a developing(long distance) relationship. Its honestly really sweet with the two of them sharing that burden as protectors, and it's full of jokes and their two strange families coming together. Mia and Malakaid love Wendell and Epoch, and Mia is an especially bad influence now that she has the power to convince her naive siblings to cause trouble with her. It may be new but it's still so fun. Found in the :V: Wendellverse: tag

And lastly is a plot driven ship with Lauren(@sunflcwcrr) which started out as sweet but Rosie is a crazyass bitch and the ship has lowkey turned toxic mainly of Rosie's part( Aka. She keeps wanting to impulsively hurt and kill this girl every time they're even slightly intimate) , but 2 single moms coming together after heartache and using each other for comfort for what is no more is a true angst trip.

Those are my only ships at the moment, while Rosie may playfully flirt and have relations with people (aka @maxskulline and @skulldxddy) that may seem border shippy, true ship with her is fairly difficult. Its honestly at a point where like.. Rosie really doesn't want to always be the first one to be chasing the other, she isnt too crazy about one sided pinning because noe shes an older lady, so for now those may be the only ships I got going on now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In her own canon, ships that occur are mainly with:

- Kasimir( now an ex-husband)

- Rocky( verse dependent, but deceased in main canon.),

- Jacob (( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) No one gets details on this one )

‘You’ sentence starters( Always accepting cuz they fire af!!)

“ Fucking idiots is an understatement to what these fucking vultures are.”

Embittered is her scowl, coiled with resentment,  jaw set so tight she can almost hear the teeth crack as they grind. In her hand, she grips a magazine, knuckles white as bone in her vice hold as she glares at the bolded black headlines printed across the cover of a tabloid : 

    ‘ PREGNANT AND ALONE: WHO’S THE FATHER? ‘

The controversial Angel Project leader has been alone for months with Eddie Brock nowhere to be found. With a visible baby bump, who could the father be?             You’ll never guess who!

Bile and red hot fury creep up her throat and burn through every fiber in her body with the sickness of rage. In the photo, the icing to the cake, is she and Freya leaving a shop with bags of maternity clothing and other goods from the week before. The photo only proves to worsen Rosie’s boiling temper as she stands and slams the paper across the table with a hateful snarl into the air,

“ Why can’t they ever stay the FUCK out of my life?! Do they have nothing fucking better to do than follow me around out of all the goddamn celebrities in this city?!” 

Screaming at the top of her lungs, her throat crackles and stings with raw emotion she hardly ever used. She’s overcome with a torrential wave of split emotions: Anger, frustration, irrational embarrassment, sorrow. They all crash and drown her faster than she can process it, like a malfunctioning machine, the only course of action was screaming to cope. Her tremors were violent and left her body otherwise useless to do anything else. It hurt. All these emotions hurt more than anything. She crippled in a way she cannot put in words, charged with the hormonal changes of pregnancy and the preexisting irrationality of her sick mind, Rosie paces around like a mad woman pulling at her own ears and raking through her hair as if redirecting the pain would provide some relief.

Why couldn’t they just leave her alone…?In the midst of madness, that small helpless voice echoes in the back of her mind. Desperate and weak, a godawful sickness climbs from her stomach to her throat – she isn’t sure whether its the baby or the stress that’s causing it – and suddenly she must grip the counter and throw head over the sink when she gags and heaves. She and Eddie were getting better.. in fact, she had finally gotten him to come back home and stay home. They were working through the turmoil, getting him new meds.. and yet, shit like this is all it takes to ruin everything when he is a paranoid schizophrenic.  The last thing she needed was Eddie catching sight of the paper at a stand and going into a fit that sends him running off again.. just the very thought of it makes her heart sink into the cold pit of her soul.

 “ Why can’t I ever catch a break…? ”

The scent of bile stings her nose and fills her with disgust as she holds her hair back and out of the sink, coated in a thin layer of yellow.  The woman grimaced and ran the water to clear it, though the nausea remains coiled in her chest and her stomach in warning. calm down.. calm down. Think of the baby..   The baby… reminded now, her hand dips down to cradle the low hanging roundness of her abdomen with a haggard breath. Breathe in.. out.. in, out. slow and easy..  Just like before. All the stress leaves bitter, frustrated tears rolling down her cheeks. Rosie reached and takes a napkin to wipe her mouth and blow the gunk out of her nose before it got any nastier than it already was… in all honesty, she did appreciate Freya being there in her little episode.. lest she do something worse. and oh she did want to do something so much worse than sitting here crying..In fact, the best way to describe it was like coming back to an addiction… In that moment of weakness, that little vengeful voice craves the thrill and rush of blood when the thing that ails her is wiped from existence. As if taking out all that emotion would finally release her from this burden that weighs her down in all this… Her mind drifts in a limbo in the aftermath of an overload, defeated. Rosie has little choice left, as her shaking legs threaten to give out, but to slowly sink down to the floor and drop her head into her awaiting hand in exhaustion. 

Now its a battle of her senses yet again; Her MORAL senses. Threatening relapse for the sweet release of relinquishing blame. Rosie gurgles and bites at the meaty muscle of her palm with a whine,

“ I-I’m sorry, Eddie.. I just..”

I just wanted to stop the crying…. I just wanted to sleep.Why did she ruin such a simple thing?

Rosie couldn’t even face him. In the aftermath of a hangover, she sits shamefully at the table gripping her hung, throbbing head with all the energy she could muster. All that she was, every fiber of her being, ached without memory of the cause.

 All she could recall was the restlessness that gripped her the night before. When Eddie wasn’t home , on his nightly Venom patrols an hour away in the city, and their baby cried through the night. James cried and he cried and she fed him over and over again until her breasts ached with nothing left to give. Until not even a pacifier or a blanket or her breast could bring him peace….James cried himself to sleep with dried milk around his little lips. Her every method between burping and changing him utterly useless when all the newborn wanted was his daddy to hold him. What Rosie could remember was the anxious coil in her stomach and the terrible ringing in her head, persisting long after James had been put to sleep. At 3am, she remembered how her eyes burned heavy with the need for sleep. But her body.. that ever tense body always set on flight mode would never allow her racing mind to sleep.The crying never stopped..        The screaming           The Burning SMELL-

The bottle seemed to call as the only remedy. The only thing to slow her down for just a bit– Just a sip. A cup and I’ll go to sleep.Then he’ll be home.

“ I didn’t mean to, Eddie.. I swear I didn’t-”

Only Eddie had the power to make her weak.. Just a look. A simple change in tone and hypothetical distance, and the little cat falls apart. He saw her at her worst state.  I Promised , I Promised,  I Promised-     and she broke it.

He’ll leave you now. You awful awful girl,How could you break you vow?

Rosie heaves a sob and crumples. The smell of breakfast, as good as it was, makes her sick. Her aching head, her racing thoughts make the room spin. Emotions rush and overwhelm her, drown her before she can make any sense of a rational reaction. She’s crying with all her aching heart, like a child scolded at the dinner table and drowning in her own fear. She cried out and blurted her flashing thoughts as the tears streamed down her cheeks,

“ Im Sorry, Eddie.. I’m sorry, IM SORRY..! ”She buries her face in her hands and mindlessly rakes her nails to sooth the godawful ache burning in her skin. Her voice falls apart, unraveling under pressure with the lack of sleep, in desperation for his forgiveness. Poor Rosie shakes and shakes,

“ I just wanted to make it stop.. I wanted to just sleep and I wanted you to come home , and my head just wouldn’t stop-”

Ringing.

Another choke, another dry heave. Her eyes widen, her words coming to an abrupt halt. Breathe. In.. out. The sporadic, manic speech slows and softens.. she feels heavy, tired all of a suddemn. Worn, but desperate still. She withers quietly and slowly lays her face down in her folded arms.. her words hushed, just above a whisper, a quiet plea,

✱    ———  in  whole  ,  they  understand  ,  in  entirety  ,  they  know  it’s  too  bold  to  assume  that  he  and  they  were  the  same.  elsa  casts  their  eyes  down  ,  holding  their  own  hands  as  they  reflect  on  what  he  said.  I  AM  DIFFERENT.  that  rang  true  for  the  monarch  ,  as  they  sit  on  this  earth  , BORN  OF  COLD  AND  WINTER  AIR.  born,  not  cursed,  they  had  to  remind  themselves.  their  journey  from  babe  to  now  has  been  a  long  road  ,  and  it  still stretches  beyond  the  snowy  path  they  sought  out.  

I  AM  NOT  THE  SAME  AS  I  WAS  ,  that  was  also  true. no  longer  did  they  shut  the  door  nor  hide  behind  it  ,  no  longer  did  they  isolate  as  frequent  as  before.  they  have  friends  now,  real  friends.  they  have  anna  now.  living  ,  breathing  ,  anna,  who  was  at  their  rented  home  here  in  new  york.  I  AM  DIFFERENT  ,   yes  ,  they  were  different  .  yes  ,  eddie  was  different  ,  but  did  that  make  them  the  same  ?  did  that  automatically  make  them  similar  because  of  the  differences  they  ended  up  with  ,  NOT  ASKED  FOR  ?  

maybe  it  did .    

❝    i’m  proud  of  you  ,  eddie.  don’t  let  the  past  haunt  you  and  take  away  moments  of  today .      ❞

                                                                  ––––––   ❛   well.   little   eddie   and   the   venom.   what   an   unexpected   encounter.   if    i   told   you   we   are   more   alike   than    one   might   think,   would   you   believe   me  ??   ❜

SHE DESERVES LOVE NOT SUFFERING HRRRGGGH